From the category archives:

marriage

The Loving Story

by Viviane on 01/09/2012

in marriage

45 years ago,  interracial marriage was a crime. It wasn’t until the Supreme Court overturned the miscegnation laws in Loving vs. Virginia (1967). The plaintiffs were Richard Perry Loving, a white man, and his wife, Mildred Loving, a woman of African American and Native American descent, who had been arrested for miscegenation nine years earlier in Virginia. I’ve noted Loving Day (June 12th) for a few years now, and remember reading Mildred Loving’s obituary in the New York Times.

This year, there is both a photography exhibit and documentary film examining the couple behind this case.

The Loving Story

The Loving Story, a documentary film, tells the story of Richard and Mildred Loving to examine the drama, the history, and the current state of interracial marriage and tolerance in the United States. The documentary was filmed in High Definition video and 16mm film. It is intended for a wide audience through theatrical release, festival screenings, community screenings, national television broadcast, web-based broadcast, and DVD and educational distribution. The film has enjoyed sold-out screenings at festivals and special events since its World Premiere at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in April 2011.t’ll be shown on Valentine’s Day, February 14th on HBO.The Loving Story is an Augusta Films Production. It was directed by Nancy Buirski, produced by Nancy Buirski and Elisabeth Haviland James, and edited by James. The documentary is fiscally sponsored by Living Archives, a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization, created by legendary documentarian DA Pennebaker, and by the Southern Documentary Fund.

,loving 1 The Loving Story

Grey Villet, [Richard and Mildred Loving with their children Peggy, Donald, and Sidney in their living room, King and Queen County, Virginia. Estate of Grey Villet

The Loving Story: Photographs by Grey Villet (International Center of Photography)

Forty-five years ago, sixteen states still prohibited interracial marriage. Then, in 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court considered the case of Richard Perry Loving, a white man, and his wife, Mildred Loving, a woman of African American and Native American descent, who had been arrested for miscegenation nine years earlier in Virginia. The Lovings were not active in the Civil Rights movement but their tenacious legal battle to justify their marriage changed history when the Supreme Court unanimously declared Virginia’s anti-miscegenation law—and all race-based marriage bans—unconstitutional. LIFE magazine photographer Grey Villet’s intimate images were uncovered by director Nancy Buirski during the making of The Loving Story, an HBO documentary debuting on February 14, 2012. The exhibition, organized by Assistant Curator of Collections Erin Barnett, includes some 20 vintage prints loaned by the estate of Grey Villet and by the Loving family. This exhibition was made possible with public funds from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs in partnership with the City Council. This exhibit runs at the International Center of Photography January 20-May 6, 2012.

If you can’t get to the ICP exhibit, there’s  Times has a beautiful slideshow of Grey Villet’s photography, ” The Case of Loving v. Bigotry.”

 

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SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — The California Supreme Court upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.

Demonstrators outside the court yelled “shame on you!” Gay rights activists immediately promised to resume their fight, saying they would go back to voters as early as next year in a bid to repeal the ban.

The 6-1 decision written by Chief Justice Ron George rejected an argument by gay rights activists that the ban revised the California Constitution’s equal protection clause to such a dramatic degree that it first needed the Legislature’s approval.

The court said the Californians have a right, through the ballot box, to change their constitution.

“In a sense, petitioners’ and the attorney general’s complaint is that it is just too easy to amend the California Constitution through the initiative process. But it is not a proper function of this court to curtail that process; we are constitutionally bound to uphold it,” the ruling said.

The justices said the 136-page majority ruling does not speak to whether they agree with the voter-approved Proposition 8 or “believe it should be a part of the California Constitution.”

They said they were “limited to interpreting and applying the principles and rules embodied in the California Constitution, setting aside our own personal beliefs and values.”

Link

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BOSTON (Reuters) – Vermont lawmakers on Tuesday overrode a veto from the governor in passing a bill that would allow same-sex marriage, clearing the way for the state to become the fourth in the nation where gay marriage is legal.

The Vermont House of Representatives passed the bill by a 100-49 vote after it cleared the state Senate 23-5 earlier in the day. In Vermont, a bill needs two-thirds support in each chamber to override a veto.

Vermont’s vote comes just four days after Iowa’s Supreme Court struck down a decade-old law that barred gays from marrying to make that state the first in the U.S. heartland to allow same-sex marriages.

via More. . .

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See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

“Gay marriages will save the economy!” A star studded cast…Margaret Cho, Neal Patrick Harris, Kathy Najimy, John Reilly, Jack Black, etc.  Written by Marc Shaiman (who scored Hairspray).  It also came about when Mr. Shaiman,  alerted his friends and colleagues that Scott Eckern, the musical director of Sacramento’s California Musical Theater, had donated money to a Yes-on-Prop 8 campaign. Shaiman told Eckern that he would no longer allow his musicals to be performed at the theatre. Eckern subsequently resigned.

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Equality Camp is a Bar-Camp style one day meet up to discuss and organize around marriage equality after the failure to defeat of California’s Proposition 8.    (See more on the bar camp model here. . . http://barcamp.org/EqualityCamp).

Blog here: http://equalitycamp.com/

Wiki here: http://barcamp.org/EqualityCamp

Follow them on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/equalitycamp

Follow the conversation on Seesmic: http://seesmic.com/equalitycamp

More info at http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/1367655/

Eventbrite signup page here: http://equalitycamp.eventbrite.com/

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For a new book about marriage and sex, Anataomy of a Marriage, Gail Konop Baker is seeking to interview married women who have had affairs:

I’m trying to solicit interviews from married women who have had affairs for my new book proposal. I posted it on my status on facebook and on Twitter and have had only one response. Considering I’ve read in several recent studies that 45-55% of married women are having or have had affairs (more than double in the past 10 years!), I find it interesting (strange? telling?) that I haven’t had more responses. Any thoughts on how where I could get women to open up to me about this? Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Please email her at gkonopbaker at  gmail dot com

About Gail Konop Baker
Gail Konop Baker’s work is published or forthcoming in Literary Mama, Talking River Review, The Potomac, Mota, The Danforth Review, Madison Magazine, Yankee Pot Roast, Wisconsin Trails, Xanadu, Womansong, Pudding Magazine, Glass Review, and an anthology funded by the Ohio Arts Council. Her Literary Mama column “Bare-breasted Mama” made its debut in October of 2006.

Gail’s memoir, Cancer is a Bitch: Or, I’d Rather Be Having A Midlife Crisis was published by Da Capo Press, October 2008. She has also written two novels, Waitress Of The Month and Paris Smells Like Rotten Eggs. Her short story, “My Religious Education,” won third place in the Madison Magazine Short Fiction Contest, chosen by Jane Hamilton, was also a Glimmer Train Top 25 Fiction Open Finalist, a finalist in the 2006 New Millennium Fiction competition and a semi-finalist in the Boston Fiction Festival 2007 contest.

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Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin, whose trailblazing activism spanned more than five decades, most recently in the battle for same-sex marriage, died Wednesday, just two months after she made history again by wedding her longtime partner in San Francisco City Hall.

Ms. Martin, an author and organizer, died at UCSF Hospice after a long period of declining health. She was 87 and was admitted to the hospital nearly two weeks ago with a broken arm.

Ms. Martin’s crusading began in 1955, during an era in America known more for social conformity than for rebellion, when she co-founded a lesbian social-turned-political organization, Daughters of Bilitis, named after a 19th century book of lesbian love poetry.

This year, on June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were legally wed. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated. Theirs was among the first same-sex nuptials in California.

Link

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…My point is that we don’t really know exactly what she knew. And there is no point in continuing to kick her now. What people do in the dynamics of a marriage is really their business. After the camera takes the confession, after the public figure is humiliated, after we all shake our heads and say “how is it possible these guys think it will never be discovered?” (Do politicians no longer study history, despite their hubris colored glasses?) it’s time for us to back away from the bleeding body of the wife.

In fact, how about this theory? Has anyone considered that she didn’t know anything in 2006, but in the face of all of this media attention, in all the hideous accusations that are raining down on a family with three innocent kids, perhaps she decided to present a united front and look like an “enabler” to protect them, not him. To make it go away faster. Because really it’s all a mess.

Lee Woodruff: In Defense of Elizabeth Edwards and Other Enablers [Updated].

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See: The Affairs of Men (New York Magazine)

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marriage California gay couples say I do

Phyllis Lyon (right) kisses her partner, Del Martin, after being married Monday at San Francisco City Hall by Mayor Gavin Newsom. The two have been together for more than 50 years. Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP. [from AJC]

Time:

Same-sex couples began marrying late Monday night in courthouse ceremonies across California, putting triumphantly happy human faces on a debate that is nevertheless far from over. Crowds turned out to welcome — and, for some, to protest — weddings in Beverly Hills, Oakland and the wine country north of San Francisco.

In San Francisco, hundreds gathered to see long-time gay rights icons Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin marry after more than half a century as a couple. “When we first got together, we were not really thinking about getting married, we were thinking about getting together,” Lyon said to laughter, standing behind Martin’s wheelchair. “I think it’s a wonderful day. We are very happy.” “Ditto,” said Martin.

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swingtown cbs promo picture 300x259 NCSF Entertainment Media Update for Swingtown

Swingtown – Molly Parker as Susan Miller, Jack Davenport as Bruce Miller, Lana Parrilla as Trina Decker, Grant Show as Tom Decker (CBS Photo by Cliff Lipson)

Show Title: Swingtown
Episode Title: “Pilot”
Original airdate: June 5, 2008
Series continues: Thursday, 10 pm
Network: CBS
Produced by: CBS Paramount Television
Executive Producers: Michael Kelley, Allen Poul and Carol Barbee

Description
From the program’s website – “SWINGTOWN, from the director of ‘Big Love’ and ‘Rome,’ traces two generations of friends and neighbors as they forge intimate connections and explore new freedoms during the culturally transformative decade of the 1970s. It portrays the ever-shifting “swing” of the pendulum that reflected the change in America’s collective value system — morally, politically and socially. After moving to an upscale lakeside Chicago suburb in July of 1976, Susan and Bruce Miller must confront temptation in the form of their provocative new neighbors, Tom and Trina Decker, while not abandoning their old friends Janet and Roger Thompson. As the adult couples evaluate whether to embrace or avoid newfound personal freedoms, the curious Miller and Thompson children begin to discover and assert their own morality and sexual identities as they come of age in a world on the precipice of change. In a shifting social climate — defined by its music, fashion and style — everyone in SWINGTOWN is confronted with personal choices, experimentation and varying attitudes.”

More info, including clips and the most recent episode of the show,
can be found at:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/swingtown/

NCSF Reviewer’s Note

Originally intended for a cable network outlet, “Swingtown” has obviously been retooled to meet broadcast standards and withstand certain scrutiny from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). Nonetheless, while it shies away from nudity and direct depictions, the show still manages to take a refreshingly
positive approach to sexual exploration and freedom. The most adventurous couple of the three featured, the Deckers, is presented as sharing a mutual enjoyment of their open marriage and seem to have a healthy, affectionate relationship. Similarly the Millers, introduced to the swing lifestyle in the first episode, are shown to be in love, but just seeking a little something to rev up their sex life.

It’s a little difficult to predict where the series will go over the course of its initial 13-episode run, but given how quickly the Millers jump into the action – counter to what most swingers themselves would counsel – there are sure to be complications ahead. While there are likely some consequences to be faced down the line, hopefully the show will maintain the sex-positive tone it exhibited in its premiere episode.

In light of complaints already being registered from media watch groups and religious political extremists, the CBS network and its local affiliates deserve commendation for airing “Swingtown” and should be encouraged to continue its broadcast.

(Reviewed by Lisa Vandever, NCSF Media Committee)

CRITICAL ACTION – GIVE FEEDBACK ON SWINGTOWN TO YOUR LOCAL CBS AFFILIATE:

Find your station here:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/31/utility/main517034.shtml

(Hard copy letters are generally more effective, but sending an email is better than nothing.)

ADDITIONAL ACTION – GIVE FEEDBACK ON SWINGTOWN TO THE CBS NETWORK:

CBS Television Network
51 West 52nd Street
New York, NY 10019

(While hard copy letters are generally more effective, you can also send a direct email to the network via a form on their website -
http://www.cbs.com/info/user_services/fb_global_form.shtml.)

YOU CAN ALSO LEAVE INPUT VIA THE “SWINGTOWN” COMMUNITY MESSAGE BOARD:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/swingtown/community/
(requires email registration)

HOW TO WRITE VIEWER FEEDBACK

Viewer letters are an effective way to convey a positive image of alternate sexual practices such as SM, swinging or polyamory. Your feedback can help to correct negative social myths and misconceptions about these types of practices, and may influence the future decisions of programmers and producers about the entertainment they provide.

These letters help achieve the advocacy goals of the NCSF.

For more information and suggestions of points to include in your letter, see:
http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_keyword&id=182

Please alert us to positive, negative or neutral stories about SM, swinging and polyamory at media@ncsfreedom.org

***

A joint Project of NCSF and ITCR: The Foundation of NCSF

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression.

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
822 Guilford Avenue, Box 127
Baltimore, MD 21202-3707
410-539-4824
media AT ncsfreedom DOT org
www.ncsfreedom.org

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from Marriage Equality NY

GET INVOLVED- Gov. Patterson is polling support for his marriage decision as opposition takes legal action!

Gov. David Paterson told state agencies on May 14 that New York must recognize same-sex marriages performed in Massachusetts, Canada and other places where they are legal. The directive should provide gay couples with as many as 1,300 rights afforded to married heterosexuals, including the ability to collect health and pension benefits, being admitted as “close family” in a hospital room and transferring a business license.

On June 3rd, a Christian legal organization says it has sued to stop New York from recognizing same-sex marriages legally performed in other states. The Alliance Defense Fund says it filed its lawsuit Tuesday in a court in the Bronx. Several Republican state senators are named as party to the suit. The Arizona-based legal group filing the lawsuit has intervened elsewhere in gay marriage and religious freedom cases.

WE MUST STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHTS NOW!

Governor Patterson is doing a poll on whether people support his decision. Take 5 seconds to lodge your support, just call 1-518-474-8390. You will talk to a live person from the Governor’s office during business hours.

Just say “I support the Governor’s position on same sex marriage,” then give them your 5 digit (New York) zip code.

And, after doing that, join us for pride, for our annual wedding march in September (add it to your calendars), and donate so we can do more (like our “walk a mile in our shoes campaign” and our Albany event Monday of this week) to show these groups we will not accept anything short of equality!

Happy Pride!
The Board Members of MENY

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Marriage Knot

by Viviane on 05/29/2008

in marriage

Geoff Nunberg

Fresh Air” commentary, May 28, 2008

A couple of months ago, the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary made some long-overdue revisions in the definitions for a bunch of gender-related words. Before then, the dictionary’s definition of girlfriend in the meaning of “sweetheart” read “a man’s favorite female companion,” which would have precluded lesbians from having girlfriends in the romantic sense. And the old definition of love read, “That feeling of attachment which is based upon difference of sex. . . and which is the normal basis of marriage.” So both words were given new definitions that would cover their use to refer to same-sex relationships.[1]

This is hardly a matter of rampant political correctness, or of giving the words a new meaning. It isn’t as if the English language has ever ruled out talking about lesbians having girlfriends, much less prevented Shakespeare from describing a romantic attachment between two men with the word love. It’s just that when the definitions were written, those sorts of relationships were officially invisible.

(more. . . )

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Bob Egelko, Chronicle Staff Writer

(05-15) 10:31 PDT SAN FRANCISCO — Gays and lesbians have a constitutional right to marry in California, the state Supreme Court said today in a historic ruling that could be repudiated by the voters in November.

In a 4-3 decision, the justices said the state’s ban on same-sex marriage violates the “fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship.” The ruling is likely to flood county courthouses with applications from couples newly eligible to marry when the decision takes effect in 30 days.

The ruling set off a celebration at San Francisco City Hall. As the decision came down, out-of-breath staff members ran into the mayor’s office where Gavin Newsom read the decision.

Outside the city clerk’s office, three opposite-sex couples were waiting at 10 a.m. for marriage certificates. City officials had prepared for a possible rush on certificates by same-sex couples, but hadn’t yet changed the forms that ask couples to fill out the name of the “bride” and “groom.”

Kenton Owayang, the office supervisor for the city clerk’s office, said he’s waiting for word from the state registrar’s office about marriage forms and working on getting extra staff members in today in case the city is able to give out the certificates to same-sex couples. (more . . .)

Full text of opinion (172 pgs) from How Appealing.

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openingup Tristan Taormino: OpeningUp.net

Author and Village Voice columnist Tristan Taormino has launched a brand new website in anticipation of the release of her new book May 1.

OpeningUp.net is a website for people interested in open relationships of all kinds, including monogamy with benefits, nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, swinging, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory, mixed orientation
marriages, and other relationships styles beyond monogamy. It features a blog, an extensive resource guide, message boards, and the Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality, lifestyles, and elationships. Check it out!

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