Posts tagged as:

sex

  • L.A.’s porn Mistake | Lorelei Lee (Salon.com) – What performers like Hartley and I are equally opposed to is being condescended to by hypocritical zealots like Weinstein and Lubben who are obviously motivated by a concern for something other than our health and safety. Who have, in fact, shown a “blatant disregard” for the health and safety of industry workers by making it more difficult for us to use the protections we already have in place when their actions led to the closure of AIM.
  • Making a Fist of It: The Law and Obscenity | Freedom in a Puritan age – On Friday 6 January 2012, a historic case came to a conclusion in Courtroom 7 of Southwark Crown Court. Michael Peacock was unanimously acquitted, after a four-day trial that saw the outdated obscenity law of England and Wales in the dock…Peacock had been charged under the Obscene Publications Act 1959 for allegedly distributing ‘obscene’ ‘gay’ DVDs, which featured fisting, urolagnia (‘watersports’) and BDSM.
  • Ask Tristan: Sex Toys and the Law • Pucker Up – [Ed. note: For this question, I turned it over to my legal expert, Davis from Sexquire.] So what does all of this litigation mean to sex shop clerks? First, unless you are in Alabama, you have no reason to fear being arrested on obscenity charges for providing sex education about or selling these products as other than novelties.
  • Porn Star Activist Jiz Lee Talks About When and How Sex Workers Can Give Consent – San Francisco Art – The Exhibitionist – The ethics of consent is becoming a hot, vital topic of discussion in alternative sexuality communities. While talking about consent is something that never quite goes away, especially in BDSM communities, a lot of the dialogue doesn’t stray much beyond making sure that everyone is over 18 and knows his or her safeword. A few months ago, local activist bad-asses Maggie Mayhem and Kitty Stryker talked to us about their attempts to speak openly about abuse in BDSM and build “consent culture.” As they prepare to take those ideas on a cross-country tour, plenty of other people are continuing the conversation here in the Bay Area.
  • Kate Bornstein reading excerpt from her new book, “A Queer and Pleasant Danger”
  • The Case of Loving v. Bigotry – Slide Show – NYTimes.com – “In 1958, Richard & Mildred Loving were arrested in a nighttime raid in their bedroom by the sheriff of Caroline County, Va. Their crime: being married to each other. The Lovings…were ordered by a judge to leave Virginia for 25 years. The International Center of Photography is mounting a show of Grey Villet’s photographs of the couple in 1965 (January 20-May 6, 2012).
  • Eric Holder Expands FBI’s Narrow, Outdated Definition Of Rape- MANCHESTER, N.H. — U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has revised the way the FBI defines rape, the first update to the federal definition in nearly a century.The FBI’s Uniform Crime Report has defined rape as the “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.” This definition was narrower than the one used by many police departments around the country, and women’s rights advocates said it led to the under-counting of thousands of sexual assaults each year.
  • Rape definition broadened to include men | CNN – The crime of rape will now be defined as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim,” the Justice Department said.

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  • Sexual Obituaries 2011 (Cory Silverberg) – People who choose to work around sexuality and gender often don’t get the acknowledgment from the mainstream media or from society as a whole that they would if their work was in another field. Every year, I feel this absence when I read the lists of famous people who died. Since 2006, I’ve tried to change that by sharing some of the sex and gender activists, educators, artists, and outlaws we lost in the year that is ending. Here is a list of sexual losses in 2011.
  • Director Dee Rees And Star Adepero Oduye Talk Coming Out & Coming Of Age In ‘Pariah’ | indieWIRE – Pariah is the story of Alike (Oduye), a black lesbian teenager living in Fort Greene and navigating between the aggressive gay nightclub scene preferred by her butch best friend Laura (Pernell Walker) and a closeted life at home, where her tightly wound mother Audrey (Kim Wayans) tries to dress her in pink cardigans and quizzes her about who she’s taking to the school dance.
  • Bondage Sex And The Liberation Of Culture – ErosBlog: The Sex Blog – For anybody with an interest in cultural history — and especially, aspects of cultural history that have ever been covert or officially suppressed, like porn — it’s this “everything floats up to the surface and becomes visible, in time” aspect of the Internet that is most miraculous. It’s far from complete, mind you — we have many centuries of recorded culture that have yet to be digitized and brought up from their buried layers of stone and canvas and paper and cellulose and vinyl and magnetic tape.
  • 2011 Top Ten Sex Questions (Cory Silverberg) – I don’t dig into my statistics all that often, but once a year I like to see which questions and answers were the most popular…These ten questions are from the 105 Sex Questions that I’ve answered on the About.com site.
  • Navigating Love and Autism – NYTimes.com- Only since the mid-1990s have a group of socially impaired young people with otherwise normal intelligence and language development been recognized as the neurological cousins of nonverbal autistic children. Because they have a hard time grasping what another is feeling — a trait sometimes described as “mindblindness” — many assumed that those with such autism spectrum disorders were incapable of, or indifferent to, intimate relationships. Parents and teachers have focused instead on helping them with school, friendship and, more recently, the workplace.Yet as they reach adulthood, the overarching quest of many in this first generation to be identified with Asperger syndrome is the same as many of their nonautistic peers: to find someone to love who will love them back. [via Violet Blue]
  • When Will a Gay Pro Athlete Finally Come Out? — New York Magazine – “Something has happened in the last year,” says Jim Buzinski, co-founder of OutSports, an advocate for and chronicler of gay sports issues for more than a decade. “It’s almost like homophobia is no longer considered cool in sports.”
  • Australian Passport Gender Options: ‘Transgender’ Will Be Included | HuffPo – Australian passports will now have three gender options – male, female and indeterminate – under new guidelines to remove discrimination against transgender people, the government said Thursday.

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10/27/2011to10/30/2011

sexual healing tantra 195x300 Sacred Sex Round Up 2011

4 Jam-Packed Days of Events, Learning, Networking, and Community Building with the World’s leading Tantra Teachers and Sacred Sexuality Educators!

  • Curious about Sacred Sexuality or have that general feeling that the intimacy in your life is “missing something” or isn’t “deep enough?”
  • Had ecstatic experiences in the bedroom that border on spiritual or transcendent, but they’re so far and few between that you’re beginning to doubt if they were real at all?
  • Frustrated with your current sex life and really want to “take it to the next level,” but have no idea what the “next level” means, looks like, or how to get there?
  • Want to take a workshop on Tantra or Taoist Sexual Practices, but don’t know where to look or how to find a teacher you would connect with?
  • Perhaps you know exactly what you want to study, but can’t seem to get your partner or friends to stop calling what you’re into “New Age” and “Woo-Woo Mumbo Jumbo?”

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, or if you or your friends think that shame-free, deeply moving sex and mind expanding orgasms are only for people like Sting, then come to the Sacred Sexuality Round-up and see what is possible for YOU!

If you’re feeling shy about working on your love life in a conscious, intentional way, then why not attend one of the most fun and informative, least threatening, unpretentious (and deeply inspirational!) events on conscious loving happening in the country!

If you love the idea of using sex as a healing path towards greater self-esteem and connection with whatever you label as “the Divine” but can’t understand all the “woo-woo” lingo about Chakras and Divine Masculine that gets tossed around, then join us for one of the most accessible and understandable 4-days on sacred sexuality ever put together.

Reid Mihalko and Richard Anton Diaz’ Sacred Sexuality Round-Up is for adults of all experience and curiosity levels to personally meet some of the country’s best sacred sex and consciousness educators, experience their teaching styles, delve into their current offerings, and socialize with like-minded men and women… All in one weekend!
Presenters:
Amy Jo Goddard
Angel Adeyoha
Barbara Carrellas
Brandon B.
Charles Muir
Ignacio Rivera
Imani Mamalution
Isis Phoenix
Kate Bornstein
Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson
Monique Darling
Paula Tursi
Ran Baron
Reid Mihalko
Richard Anton Diaz
Robert Silber
Robyn Trask
Sebastien Koja Adeyoha
Sheri Winston
Zahava

Location:  Reflections Yoga, 250 West 49th Street, 2nd Floor, New York City

Purchase tickets:
http://www.sacredsexroundup.com/resgistration/

Can’t make it to New York City to join us in person? Watch LIVE on the web! Details here:
https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=996938&c=ib&aff=185506&cl=128030

 

 

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09/14/2011to09/19/2011

dosc11banner1 Dark Odyssey: Summer Camp   Registration Now Open

Dark Odyssey: Summer Camp
Northern Maryland
September 14-19, 2011
http://www.darkodyssey.com

Imagine a vacation that brings together sexuality, spirituality, education, and play in a fun, diverse environment where fantasy becomes reality.

Dark Odyssey: Summer Camp 2011, a journey of sexual exploration for the spiritual and creative sex-positive communities returns for its eighth year. It will be held at a secluded, two hundred acre retreat in Northern Maryland. Our mission is to cross-pollinate ideas and concepts between groups of individuals who desire to explore different areas of alternative sexuality.

The event, from September 14-19, 2011 will feature dynamic workshops taught by top-notch sex educators, relationship experts, SM masters, and spiritual teachers from around the world, including:

Arli * Annie Earl * Artemis Hunter *Bear * Dylan Ryan * Ignacio Rivera * Lee Harrington
Lolita Wolf  * The Marine * MojoDaddy * Mollena Williams *Princess Kali * Sam Martin
* Sinclair Sexsmith * * Sir C * TTT * Wintersong Tashlin

In addition to workshops, Dark Odyssey features creative social activities, nightly special events, erotic rituals, lakeside bonfires, the Sex-O-Rama playspace, and a 10,000 square foot fully equipped dungeon open for play around the clock.

All this happens in a fun camp environment at a retreat with great accommodations: forty cabins with real beds, full bathrooms, hot water showers, electricity and great centrally located swimming pool; plus, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack included.

Unlike a typical conference event, where you have to pay for registration fees, hotel room costs, plus meals, Dark Odyssey is an all-inclusive event. Weekend rates range from $350 to $425 depending on when you register, and if you are a member of a participating group. Early registration rates are good through August 1st. Remember that Summer Camp SOLD OUT last year in record time, so sign up today!

Dozens of community organizations have signed on as participating groups in Dark Odyssey, and we add new groups every day. Check the website to see if your group is one of them, and you’ll be entitled to a registration discount. If your group would like to be added to this list, please contact greg@darkodyssey.com

Visit our website, http://www.darkodyssey.com for more details. We hope you will join us for this exciting event!

Best Regards,

Greg and Karri
On behalf of everyone at Dark Odyssey

For more information: http://www.darkodyssey.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/darkodyssey
Fetlife: http://fetlife.com/groups/756

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 06/26/2011

in del.icio.us,sex

  • New York Allows Same-Sex Marriage, Becoming Largest State to Pass Law – NYTimes.com – “Lawmakers voted late Friday to legalize same-sex marriage, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the national gay-rights movement new momentum from the state where it was born. “
  • Thousands Cheer Same-Sex Marriage Law in Euphoric Pride Parade – NYTimes.com – “They came to shout, dance, cheer, strut, hug and shed tears of joy, knowing that on July 24, when the law takes effect, the season for tears will begin in earnest…The focus of much of the cheering was Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, a Democrat, who made legalization of same-sex marriage part of his election campaign and visibly led the fight for its approval in the Republican-led State Senate. Mr. Cuomo marched with several local politicians, including Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg and the New York City Council speaker, Christine C. Quinn, who is openly gay. But there was little question that the governor was the parade’s rock star, eliciting shrieks as he made his way down Fifth Avenue. “
  • Gail Dines, SlutWalk, Saudi Arabia and The Place of Porn in a “Just Society” | violet blue ® :: open source sex – A professor of sociology and women’s studies, Dines shows a shocking disregard for women’s experience. She infantilizes “sluts” and women who consume porn (about whom I’ve never seen her make more than a passing reference) as women making not their own choices, but choices dictated exclusively by the pressures of men. Meanwhile, men make choices based exclusively on the pressures of porn. Which are driven by the desires of men. It’s a classic circular argument that places the responsibility for men who behave reprehensibly on the shoulders of women who self-identify as sluts, and of men who don’t always feel like making eye contact with their girlfriends during sex…But Dines is far more dangerous than that, because after decades teaching women’s studies, she doesn’t seem to have learned the explosive danger of the term “normal.”
  • Sexual Orientation and the Law: A Research Bibliography – A research bibliography of legal literature discussing gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual persons, their rights and their families. Edited by law librarians from the American Association of Law Libraries Standing Committee on Lesbian and Gay Issues.
  • Thanks, but no thanks! | Fearless Press – Keep in mind that you do not need to have a reason to say no – you are entitled to say no for any reason (or even no reason) at all. It’s YOUR decision whether to play or engage in sex. You also do not need to give them a “rain check” or tell them maybe another time unless you want to – in fact, in my experience it’s been worse for me to tell them “maybe” instead of just saying no and leaving it alone.

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ducky 125x300 Ducky Doolittles Webcasting Sex Workshops

 

Living in NYC, I’m lucky to have access to many different events and classes. But not everyone’s got that kind of access, which is why it’s great educators like Ducky Doolittle are webcasting their workshops. Here’s the list of classes (and they’re reasonably priced):

6/26 Art of the Female Orgasm
Details & Tickets: http://duckyfemaleo.eventbrite.com/

6/27 Art of the Strip Tease
Details & Tickets: http://duckyartstrip.eventbrite.com/

6/28 Amp It Up: Imaginative Ways to Keep Sparks Flying
Details & Tickets: http://duckyamped.eventbrite.com/

7/3 Bottoms Up: Exploring Anal Pleasure
Details & Tickets: http://duckybottomsup.eventbrite.com/

7/5 Sex for Survivors: Healing After Trauma
Details & Tickets: http://duckysurvivors.eventbrite.com/

7/6 Do It Like a Porn Star: Simple Tips to Juice Up Your Play
Details & Tickets: http://duckystar.eventbrite.com/

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  • My Family Found out I Blog About Sex | BlogHer – “Have you considered changing your name?” the message from my aunt read. “Our name is too obscure and boring, don’t you think? The famous do better with something catchy and bright.”…This wasn’t a compliment. It was a very polite way of saying that what I was doing with my life — writing about sex — was not in keeping with the image my father’s family desires for itself.
  • Dissent Magazine – Arguing The World – What Gail Dines Doesn’t Get About SlutWalk – Dines shares more common ground with SlutWalk than she realizes. The organizers are not celebrating the word “slut” or “promoting sluttishness in general.” The SlutWalkers are marching in solidarity with all women who have been dismissed, degraded, or hurt by the label. They are marching against sexual violence and the ugly stereotypes that help to perpetuate it.
  • Botox and Better Butts? What Messages Are We Sending to Young Girls? | RH Reality Check -
  • Uganda’s LGBT Activists Get a Temporary Victory | violet blue ® :: open source sex – The reprehensible “anti-gay” bill in Uganda has been dealt a blow by that country’s brave LGBT activists and the world human rights community. In a nation where homosexuality was already illegal, and punishable by 14 years in prison, this law would have made things even worse, establishing the death penalty, among other things, for having gay sex while HIV positive.
  • Bill Sienkiewicz And Frank Miller’s Wonder Woman: Bondage (Bleeding Cool) – DC Comics never saw this image. Neither Bill Sienkiewicz nor Frank Miller intended it to go public. But when it was sold, despite assurances that it wouldn’t go online, somewghere alon the line, it got sold to someone who didn’t know about that requirement.
  • NCSF Wallet Card – A pocket reference for dealing with law enforcement
  • ‘Paying For It’ Without Regret: An Intriguing Graphic Memoir Of Prostitution : Monkey See : NPR – It’s not that getting dumped by his girlfriend soured Canadian cartoonist Chester Brown on the notion of romantic love, exactly. Because to sour on something, one would have to, at some point, feel strongly about it. And given the facts on evidence in Brown’s latest autobiographical comic, the guy’s not much for strong emotion. No, the Chester Brown we glimpse through the tiny black and white panels the artist arranges with such exacting precision is a creature of intellect. His approach to sex, in the wake of his girlfriend’s rejection, is one of cool logic, dispassionate conclusions — and some very literal cost-to-benefit ratios.

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  • Rules of Misbehavior – Benjamin J. Dueholm – Dan Savage, the brilliant and foul-mouthed sex columnist, has become one of the most important ethicists in America. Are we screwed?
  • Trve West Coast Fiction: Spoiled (or why I sometimes feel like a rapist) | Danny Wylde – Having sex with beautiful women for a living is fun – except when it’s not.
  • ‘Game of Thrones’: Making Sense of All the Sex – Atlantic – Ultimately, Game of Thrones is about power, and the consequences of sex—both immediately and years down the line—can mean the difference between gaining and losing it. Westeros is not a modern or progressive world, and sex and violence remain its primary trades. Viewers who find either untenable should steer clear.
  • Getting Away with Murder on Long Island – Some of those 10 people might be alive today if it hadn’t been for the lackluster response of law enforcement and the press coverage of the case — much of it sensationalist and dehumanizing — all because of the first victims’ sex-worker status.
  • The Perversions of Campus Sexual Culture – Brainstorm – The Chronicle of Higher Education – In other words, campus sexual culture in its dominant, heteronormative form is kinda f#%@ed up. Sexual desire is wrapped up in public humiliation, drunkenness, and yes, I’ll say the word, patriarchy. It’s not that I don’t get how such things can be sexy, how humiliation and domination in conditions of inequality can be turned into pleasure. But what is interesting is the very conflation of that pleasure with both profit and publicness, a visual pornification of power inequities so beautifully symbolized by the booty cam at Yale or the drunk college “chix” porn site.

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  • The Health of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender People: Building a Foundation for Better Understanding – Institute of Medicine – To help assess the state of the science, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) asked the IOM to evaluate current knowledge of the health status of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender populations; to identify research gaps and opportunities; and to outline a research agenda to help NIH focus its research in this area. The IOM finds that to advance understanding of the health needs of all LGBT individuals, researchers need more data about the demographics of these populations, improved methods for collecting and analyzing data, and an increased participation of sexual and gender minorities in research. Building a more solid evidence base for LGBT health concerns will not only benefit LGBT individuals, but also add to the repository of health information we have that pertains to all people.
  • Walk of Shame? Baby, I Strut | Sex and the 405 – In the past months I have spoken with people at Playboy and Fleshbot about properties like that of NakedCity, tossing around the incredible paradox posed by sex on the internet. The masses can’t resist sex. Any story about sex on any publication goes through the roof with views. Sex sells, goes the tired saying, and when you look at it this way, it does…But make a property devoted solely to sex and you find yourself in the precarious situation of being completely unable to show serious financial reward for your efforts. Sex, apparently, sells everything except advertising space and any hope of a decent search ranking.
  • Bringing up the rear – Tracy Clark-Flory – Salon.com – For my generation, the back-door option is like what the blow job was to the generation that came before — just a fun new taboo waiting to be broken. The phenomenon of heterosexual guys participating in all sorts of arse play is something different, though. I’ve seen female-on-male strap-on sex go from the sort of thing tittered about in women’s magazines to hearing a male friend once drunkenly blurting out in a bar that he loved it.
  • How a sex rebel was born – Sex News, Sex Talk – Salon.com – She may have traded in her punk rock leathers for one of the least erotic materials on the planet, but her fierce rhetoric about sexual freedom and pleasure has stayed the same.
  • Anne Roiphe: Sex, Art and Booze Back When Writers Broke Taboos | The New York Observer -
  • Why is this so hard? Google, Facebook and adult retailing | Econsultancy – My day-to-day marketing activities are somewhat different from yours. Instead of optimising campaigns and formulating strategy, with every day comes a new onslaught of ad disapproval, a rumour of a change in policy, a decline from an ad network or long email conversation with a boilerplate-spouting representative…In this article I’ll give you an insight into the surprisingly not-salacious world of Adult Retailing in relation to the internet’s biggest players: Google and Facebook.
  • Glee – Sexy – Sex Education on TV – The TV show Glee is great fun, but I feel like it has consistently done a terrible job talking about sex. Not only has it played young people’s sexual ignorance for humor value – a main character thought he got his girlfriend pregnant by being in a hot tub with her for much of the first season- it has allowed these misconceptions to stand as truth for months at a time.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 03/02/2011

in del.icio.us,sex

  • Control Tower by Mistress Matisse – The Stranger – Because being a nerd—especially if one participates in nerd culture around things like comic books, science fiction/fantasy, RPGing, etc.—is excellent training for becoming an active member of the BDSM community. The young nerd, shunned by the elite, perforce becomes accustomed to hanging around other nerds and social outcasts of all types. Nerds thus develop a high tolerance for socially nonconforming people and come to feel that such individuals are, by definition, nicer and more interesting than the Cool Kids. They embrace being weird, in other words.
  • Majoring in Kink | The Eye – I’m at the semester’s first meeting of Conversio Virium, Columbia’s BDSM, or kinky sex, education group, witnessing famed fetishist Dov demonstrate “rough body play,” or “thug play.” The demonstration is instructional, with an emphasis on avoiding actual bodily harm, but it’s easy to forget this as Dov maneuvers her onto the floor, grip strong, demonstrating an impressive and creative repertoire of ways to twist her body and apply force.
  • The Cambridge Porn Debate Story « The Sexademic – I waited to hear what I knew would be many misrepresentations of the porn industry as well as false data. It came rather quickly when she stated that the average age of internet porn exposure was 11.
  • Sex, Law, and Cinema in the Digital Age (1989-2010) – James Fallows – Personal – The Atlantic – On that cheery note, here’s my survey of the key social, legal, cinematic, and technological moments of the last 22 years, with my take on how they delivered us (and by “us” I mean “me”) to where we are now.

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e[lust] #23

by Lolita Wolf on 02/23/2011

in sexbloggers

8 e[lust] #23

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #24? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Roadmaps of ConsentI fucking love consent. I love safewords. I can be much more cruel, and push much harder, if I trust my partner to tell me when I go too far.

Staying SafeOne cock, from one man, missing one condom, ultimately led to my brother’s death. And that sucks.

Flying the Friendly SkiesOne button on her sweater was undone, there was a rip in her hose, scratches on her boots, and her hair was carelessly pinned back with stray wisps of hair escaping. There was a curious flavor of soiling about her, something a bit dirty and unkempt.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Labels and my thoughts… - In the past year and a half I have gone from being someone that was lost, without identity that fit, rattling around inside myself to someone that has names for what they are.

~ e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

See also: Pleasurists #116 and #117 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

5 Kinky Toys from the Dollar Store
Alive in my Skin
Dacryphilia
Digitalized for Posterity
Eroti…ca
filthy…
He ripped a string of orgasms from me, and then ramped it up
Manual Dexterity
Nadia’s Surprise
Orgasms, Spoons Rests, and Fishnets! (The Play Party)
Punishment, humiliation and bondage
Schoolgirl in Saturday Detention
Steeling The Show
Water torture

Erotic Writing

A Little Night Music
Afternoon darkness
Crisp White Linens
dancing with (& then kinkily fucking) the dj
In the Mirror
Lope
Morning Sex
My First Anal Sex
September 1935
Shutter
Schoolgirl Part 1
Teenage Bukkake
Transition
You’re Gonna Keep My Soul

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Doggie Kind of Love
Ashamed?! Are You Kidding Me?
Giggles, Groans and Panting
I Can Imagine How You Feel
Sex As Love
6 Moves Men Need to Be Sex Gods in the Bedroom
Terminology Fundamentalism
The COME HITHER QUIVER -or- How To Squirt
This Love
What I Want

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com
Porn, degradation, and Khan Tusion
Women With Two Vaginas
Kink, virginity and big-tittied whores

20 e[lust] #23

Ashley Fires and Kait Snow on WhippedAss.com

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Posted online at http://www.puckerup.com/media_kit/osu_update

February 7, 2011

Contact: Tristan Taormino (asktristan@gmail.com)

Three weeks ago, Tristan Taormino’s keynote for Oregon State University’s Modern Sex Conference was cancelled by administrators, who cited her involvement in pornography as the reason (complete background at http://www.puckerup.com/media_kit/osu_press_release). Response from local and national media, bloggers and sex educators, and on social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook was extensive, and the University received hundreds of emails and calls criticizing its decision to un-invite Taormino.

In response, OSU students organized to raise funds from student activity dollars, and they have succeeded: Taormino will give her original talk, “Claiming Your Sexual Power,” on Tuesday, February 15 at 7:00 pm in LaSells Stewart Center at Oregon State University. Her talk is presented by The OSU Memorial Union and open to all students, staff, faculty, and community members. The presentation will be held the night before the Modern Sex Conference. “I am thrilled at the outpouring of support and honored that the students worked so hard to bring me to campus. I want to thank Memorial Union President Craig Bidiman, his advisors, and the ASOSU for all their help,” says Taormino.

After Taormino was first uninvited from the OSU Modern Sex Conference, she was contacted by a professor at the University of Oregon who was interested in having her appear on campus. On Wednesday, February 16, she will give her talk “My Life As a Feminist Pornographer,” at the University of Oregon. She will talk about her definition of feminist porn, what she hopes to accomplish with her films, and the challenges she faces in her career in the adult industry and in her professional career as a sex educator. She will address the recent controversy at OSU and why she believes a feminist is the most “dangerous” kind of pornographer. Her talk is sponsored by The Center for the Study of Women in Society; Robert D. Clark Honors College; Departments of Women’s and Gender Studies, Sociology, Comparative Literature, and Cinema Studies; Oregon Humanities Center; The Women’s Center; LBGTQ Alliance; and The Sexual Wellness Advocacy Team. Professor Jennifer Burns Levin, who organized the event, says, “Tristan’s involvement with pornography made OSU administrators uncomfortable, but I think they missed the point. Tristan’s sex-positive, woman- and queer-friendly work in an industry known for its exploitation of women addresses exactly the kind of labor issues we should be discussing on college campuses. And preemptively withdrawing funds from a provocative speaker in a time of legislative budget cuts sets a bad precedent, in my view, for others speaking on controversial topics. So we’re very happy to have her at University of Oregon. It should be an energized and popular lecture!”

For more information about these events as well as her two appearances at She Bop sexuality boutique on February 13 and 14 in Portland, see http://www.puckerup.com/tristan_on_tour/.

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Basically the author of Just Not That Into Anyone is grappling with checking out during sex, and it’s scary and confusing. He knows that porn is a reliable and enjoyable – and safe – place he can get off. And that makes him feel like a man, which is important. He is not “broken.”

If you’re checking out during partnered sex, first ask yourself who this is a problem for. And what would you like to do about it? That’s where you start. Then ask yourself the hard question of what would you like to see happening instead. If the answer is that you’d rather be alone jacking off to porn, then go get it out of your system. Don’t set a time limit on how long that might take. And don’t damn yourself to a relationship where you will never get your fantasies and desires met (hey – you can even use porn together). If you’re crazy-hot for pegging or BDSM or deep throat or anal, and you know your partner would never do that, you MUST decide if you can live with this, or if it’s time to do some couples’ counseling, or time to find someone who really wants to know who you are, and share that. If you want professional feedback, find a sex-positive therapist.

Remember that your sexual interests and turn-ons will evolve and change throughout your entire life. None of these articles will tell you this. One of the most common and awful Fear-Uncertainty-Doubt points the Fox and CNN outlets try to make you believe is that your frustration will never end. It’s a lie.

When media con men (and women) make up sexual problems they do so knowing they will never get fact checked or questioned in a sexually conservative media landscape. And they know they have made you into a patient who – conveniently for them – will never be “cured.” The chemistry of “brain addiction” and oxytocin are woven in to support their FUD, but are unfounded and unproven in any unbiased or objective studies. Don’t ever forget that.

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