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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 06/26/2011

in del.icio.us,sex

  • New York Allows Same-Sex Marriage, Becoming Largest State to Pass Law – NYTimes.com – “Lawmakers voted late Friday to legalize same-sex marriage, making New York the largest state where gay and lesbian couples will be able to wed and giving the national gay-rights movement new momentum from the state where it was born. “
  • Thousands Cheer Same-Sex Marriage Law in Euphoric Pride Parade – NYTimes.com – “They came to shout, dance, cheer, strut, hug and shed tears of joy, knowing that on July 24, when the law takes effect, the season for tears will begin in earnest…The focus of much of the cheering was Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, a Democrat, who made legalization of same-sex marriage part of his election campaign and visibly led the fight for its approval in the Republican-led State Senate. Mr. Cuomo marched with several local politicians, including Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg and the New York City Council speaker, Christine C. Quinn, who is openly gay. But there was little question that the governor was the parade’s rock star, eliciting shrieks as he made his way down Fifth Avenue. “
  • Gail Dines, SlutWalk, Saudi Arabia and The Place of Porn in a “Just Society” | violet blue ® :: open source sex – A professor of sociology and women’s studies, Dines shows a shocking disregard for women’s experience. She infantilizes “sluts” and women who consume porn (about whom I’ve never seen her make more than a passing reference) as women making not their own choices, but choices dictated exclusively by the pressures of men. Meanwhile, men make choices based exclusively on the pressures of porn. Which are driven by the desires of men. It’s a classic circular argument that places the responsibility for men who behave reprehensibly on the shoulders of women who self-identify as sluts, and of men who don’t always feel like making eye contact with their girlfriends during sex…But Dines is far more dangerous than that, because after decades teaching women’s studies, she doesn’t seem to have learned the explosive danger of the term “normal.”
  • Sexual Orientation and the Law: A Research Bibliography – A research bibliography of legal literature discussing gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual persons, their rights and their families. Edited by law librarians from the American Association of Law Libraries Standing Committee on Lesbian and Gay Issues.
  • Thanks, but no thanks! | Fearless Press – Keep in mind that you do not need to have a reason to say no – you are entitled to say no for any reason (or even no reason) at all. It’s YOUR decision whether to play or engage in sex. You also do not need to give them a “rain check” or tell them maybe another time unless you want to – in fact, in my experience it’s been worse for me to tell them “maybe” instead of just saying no and leaving it alone.

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  • Rules of Misbehavior – Benjamin J. Dueholm – Dan Savage, the brilliant and foul-mouthed sex columnist, has become one of the most important ethicists in America. Are we screwed?
  • Trve West Coast Fiction: Spoiled (or why I sometimes feel like a rapist) | Danny Wylde – Having sex with beautiful women for a living is fun – except when it’s not.
  • ‘Game of Thrones’: Making Sense of All the Sex – Atlantic – Ultimately, Game of Thrones is about power, and the consequences of sex—both immediately and years down the line—can mean the difference between gaining and losing it. Westeros is not a modern or progressive world, and sex and violence remain its primary trades. Viewers who find either untenable should steer clear.
  • Getting Away with Murder on Long Island – Some of those 10 people might be alive today if it hadn’t been for the lackluster response of law enforcement and the press coverage of the case — much of it sensationalist and dehumanizing — all because of the first victims’ sex-worker status.
  • The Perversions of Campus Sexual Culture – Brainstorm – The Chronicle of Higher Education – In other words, campus sexual culture in its dominant, heteronormative form is kinda f#%@ed up. Sexual desire is wrapped up in public humiliation, drunkenness, and yes, I’ll say the word, patriarchy. It’s not that I don’t get how such things can be sexy, how humiliation and domination in conditions of inequality can be turned into pleasure. But what is interesting is the very conflation of that pleasure with both profit and publicness, a visual pornification of power inequities so beautifully symbolized by the booty cam at Yale or the drunk college “chix” porn site.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 03/02/2011

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  • Control Tower by Mistress Matisse – The Stranger – Because being a nerd—especially if one participates in nerd culture around things like comic books, science fiction/fantasy, RPGing, etc.—is excellent training for becoming an active member of the BDSM community. The young nerd, shunned by the elite, perforce becomes accustomed to hanging around other nerds and social outcasts of all types. Nerds thus develop a high tolerance for socially nonconforming people and come to feel that such individuals are, by definition, nicer and more interesting than the Cool Kids. They embrace being weird, in other words.
  • Majoring in Kink | The Eye – I’m at the semester’s first meeting of Conversio Virium, Columbia’s BDSM, or kinky sex, education group, witnessing famed fetishist Dov demonstrate “rough body play,” or “thug play.” The demonstration is instructional, with an emphasis on avoiding actual bodily harm, but it’s easy to forget this as Dov maneuvers her onto the floor, grip strong, demonstrating an impressive and creative repertoire of ways to twist her body and apply force.
  • The Cambridge Porn Debate Story « The Sexademic – I waited to hear what I knew would be many misrepresentations of the porn industry as well as false data. It came rather quickly when she stated that the average age of internet porn exposure was 11.
  • Sex, Law, and Cinema in the Digital Age (1989-2010) – James Fallows – Personal – The Atlantic – On that cheery note, here’s my survey of the key social, legal, cinematic, and technological moments of the last 22 years, with my take on how they delivered us (and by “us” I mean “me”) to where we are now.

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03/22/2011
7:00 PMto10:00 PM

RS31 Tristan Taorminos Rough Sex 3: Adriannas Dangerous Mind Release Party

Fleshbot and Tristan Taormino
invite you to celebrate the release of

ROUGH SEX 3: ADRIANNA’S DANGEROUS MIND

Celebrate the release of this much-anticipated film which represents a collaboration like no other–between feminist pornographer Tristan Taormino and adult superstar Adrianna Nicole. Adrianna picked her co-stars and the scenarios based on her real fantasies; the film she imagined gives viewers an unprecedented look at her explosive sexuality. See what’s inside Adrianna’s dangerous mind.

  • Meet Adrianna Nicole, co-star of the film Jiz Lee, director Tristan Taormino, Danny Wylde and other special guests
  • Complimentary Original Sin Hard Cider from 7-8
  • Sip on “The Eleven” and “Pure Plug,” the signature cocktails of the evening inspired by Adrianna’s favorite toys
  • Celebrate Adrianna’s birthday
  • Get your free poster signed by the stars and a sexy gift bag
  • See a sneak preview of the movie!

Where: Fontana’s, 105 Eldridge St, NYC (Get directions using Hopstop)

Cost: FREE

Co- Sponsored by

Gift bags sponsored by

More info: http://bit.ly/taorminoRS3

Facebook RSVP: http://on.fb.me/ttrs3fb

Fetlife RSVP: http://fetlife.com/events/44095

Updated:

Tristan’s been posting (NSFW) pics from the Rough Sex 3 on her Tumblr:

Adrianna Nicole and Jiz Lee
http://bit.ly/fEiu7i

“Cash” starring Adrianna Nicole & Ramon Nomarxxx
http://bit.ly/gvTRVg

Adrianna Nicole & Jada Fire
http://bit.ly/g8J00u

“Jock” Nat Turnher, Danny Wylde, Keni Styles & Evan Stone give Adrianna Nicole a workout
http://bit.ly/edzMmu

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Basically the author of Just Not That Into Anyone is grappling with checking out during sex, and it’s scary and confusing. He knows that porn is a reliable and enjoyable – and safe – place he can get off. And that makes him feel like a man, which is important. He is not “broken.”

If you’re checking out during partnered sex, first ask yourself who this is a problem for. And what would you like to do about it? That’s where you start. Then ask yourself the hard question of what would you like to see happening instead. If the answer is that you’d rather be alone jacking off to porn, then go get it out of your system. Don’t set a time limit on how long that might take. And don’t damn yourself to a relationship where you will never get your fantasies and desires met (hey – you can even use porn together). If you’re crazy-hot for pegging or BDSM or deep throat or anal, and you know your partner would never do that, you MUST decide if you can live with this, or if it’s time to do some couples’ counseling, or time to find someone who really wants to know who you are, and share that. If you want professional feedback, find a sex-positive therapist.

Remember that your sexual interests and turn-ons will evolve and change throughout your entire life. None of these articles will tell you this. One of the most common and awful Fear-Uncertainty-Doubt points the Fox and CNN outlets try to make you believe is that your frustration will never end. It’s a lie.

When media con men (and women) make up sexual problems they do so knowing they will never get fact checked or questioned in a sexually conservative media landscape. And they know they have made you into a patient who – conveniently for them – will never be “cured.” The chemistry of “brain addiction” and oxytocin are woven in to support their FUD, but are unfounded and unproven in any unbiased or objective studies. Don’t ever forget that.

Link

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However the industry ultimately reshapes itself to accommodate the twin threats of free and stolen content, the broader legacy of the tubes may have little to do with the high-gloss, professionally made porn that they have imperiled. More than anything, the tubes have the potential to change the viewer’s relationship to erotica itself. On some tubes, gigabytes of home movies are being uploaded and streamed without any money changing hands. There, consumers can also be producers. Posting can be as arousing as watching. We are all porn stars, if we want to be. Maybe porn isn’t even really the right word for it anymore, as it evolves from something made to be watched to something made to be shared.

Link

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And so a conundrum emerges. Men, oversaturated by porn, secretly hunger for the variety that porn offers. Women, noticing a decline in their partners’ libidos, try to reenact the kinds of scenes that men watch on their computer screens. Men, as a result, get really freaked out. They don’t want their real women and their fantasy women to inhabit the same body. Or, as Ron analogizes: “Remember Ghostbusters? How in love Bill Murray was with Dana, the Sigourney Weaver character? He feels lucky to even get her to agree to a date with him, but then when he shows up at her door, she’s possessed by demons, floating four feet above her bed, begging him to fuck her brains out. And he’s completely rattled by it and can’t get out of there fast enough. Well, that’s what it’s like when your girlfriend suddenly starts acting like a porn queen. You’re like, ‘Baby, where’d you go? I just want my girlfriend back.’ ”

Link

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 12/16/2010

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 12/07/2010

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 12/06/2010

in del.icio.us,sex

  • » wanna participate? The Visibility Project – The Visibility Project is a photographic portraiture series focused on the Queer Asian American identified community.  All the participants have identified as female at one time and the project is inclusive to:  trans, ftm, mtf, genderqueer, bisexuals, lesbian, gay, intersex, andro, two-spirit, or any other gender or sexual identifications…Seeking participants who are willing to be photographed at a studio in Brooklyn, NY during the last week of December.  Date(s) have not been finalized yet, but please send an email or post a comment if you’d like to be a part of this amazing project.  The shoot dates will be between Dec 28th and Jan 2.  Looking for all ages, no modeling experience necessary, just be willing to be photographed and interviewed, plan to spend about 20-30 minutes at the location.  When the dates are finalized, time-slots will be given to each participant.
  • WGLB: Sex and Civilization: The Body as Battleground – But if liberated sexuality is world-destroying from the mythic, fundamentalist point of view, it is world-creating from a pluralistic one.
  • Twelve Ways To Scare Away Twitter Followers | Fiction Groupie
  • When’s the Best Time to Publish Blog Posts? | Problogger – I found that among very popular blogs, publishing multiple times per day led to a huge increase in a blog’s success. This tells us that rather than focusing one perfect day or time, we should aim to publish at many times, and on many days.
  • Trve West Coast Fiction: Ethics Part I (Danny Wylde) – So here is my self-assigned homework: Talk to those who produce what I believe to be “ethical porn,” interview performers on what they feel differentiates a safe work environment from one that is degrading or dis-empowering, and do my best to figure out if there is any discernible way for consumers to figure out what type of product will get him/her off and still provide a clean conscious.
  • Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online | Scarleteen – Not every good sex educator or person you can trust to talk with about sexuality online and get reliable information from has one kind or set of credentials, nor one kind of experience or background. There are formal and informal routes into doing sex ed as your gig, and a lot of different avenues into the field. But even with our diversity, there are some common threads and some typical ways you can figure whose information and help you can trust and whose you probably shouldn't.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 10/23/2010

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  • The Downfall of Alexa Di Carlo | Charlie Glickman – But I do take exception when someone creates false credentials in order to dupe the gullible. I worked hard to get a doctorate in sex education and many of my colleagues, whether they have academic credentials or not, have dedicated years of their lives to learn about sexuality in order to provide good information. I feel a lot of anger when someone pretends to have done the work in order to make it seem as if they know what they’re talking about….It also upsets me when people misrepresent sexwork. Usually, people make it seem as if it’s much a much worse career than it might be, especially when they want to ban it. But it’s also problematic when people glorify it because it creates a misrepresentation of the challenges and difficulties that sexworkers face. In turn, this romanticizes the profession and makes it more likely that people will decide to try it out without knowing how to protect themselves.
  • Law.com – ‘Cached’ Pages May Be Evidence in Child Porn Case, Panel Says | Law.com – In a case of first impression in New York, a Brooklyn appellate panel has held that temporary files automatically “cached” by an Internet browser may serve as evidence of promoting and possessing child pornography…The Appellate Division, 2nd Department, looked at similar cases from other jurisdictions and concluded that their “consistent thread” was the need to distinguish “inadvertent” acquisition and possession of child pornography from “knowing” and “intentional” acquisition and possession.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 10/18/2010

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  • Follow That Story: Lara Jade Won Her Lawsuit | violet blue ® :: open source sex – Way back in May 2007, young female photographer (and aspiring fashion photog) Lara Jade Coton put a plea for help up on Flickr. One of her photos (that she had shared on DeviantART) was being used as an American porn boxcover — reprehensibly, it was not only used without permission but it was also a self-portrait she’d taken on a family vacation when she was only 14.
  • Sexual ‘thesis’ deserves zero out of 10 | Zoe Margolis – Perhaps her lack of self-awareness and her inability to provide a social critique are what has led to so much criticism, and the fact that she named people publicly is an obvious violation of others’ privacy, which clearly highlights her naivety. What worries me, though, is the widespread “slut-shaming” the author is now receiving from the media: her sex life is being routinely condemned. Were a man to have written this, he’d be getting slaps on the back (or have a movie made based on his life) for being a “stud”. Women who talk about sex instead attract newspaper headlines chastising them for their actions and have moral judgments cast on their behaviour which men do not have to endure.
  • Yale Fraternity’s Chant Reveals Depth of Our Culture’s Misogyny | Will Neville | RHRealityCheck.org – The problem isn’t that a group of young men at yelled something stupid, over and over agian. The problem is that I’m no longer sure we’re shocked by people who turn rape and sexual assault into some kind of a joke. It’s embarassing for those involved, sure. But the sentiment they expressed is shockingly — and terrifyingly — mainstream.
  • Jeff Koons’s “Made in Heaven” Series: A Critical Compendium | ARTINFO.com – Works from Jeff Koons’s “Made in Heaven” series — paintings and sculptures that depict the artist with his then-lover, Italian porn star Cicciolina, in a variety of romantic situations — have returned to New York, where many were first displayed in 1991 at the Sonnabend Gallery in SoHo. (Some pieces — of the slightly less hardcore variety — were shown at the 1990 Venice Biennale.) New York critics, with perhaps only one exception, have lambasted the current “Made in Heaven” show at the Upper East Side townhouse of Luxembourg & Dayan, following in a rich lineage of writers that have panned work. Over the past two decades, the series has earned near-universal scorn from most art critics and inspired some of the all-time-great takedowns in recent criticism.
  • My Mother And Her Vibrator | Pamela Madsen | Psychology Today – It lived in her closet for years. – until my mother turned 81. Every-time I brought it up. – mom would tell me that she was frightened of hurting herself. I would talk to her about this. “Come on mom – how are you going to hurt yourself?”.. She could never explain to me her fears, and in the end the vibrator remained unused…And then one afternoon my mother called me. I knew something was up at “Hello”. She had this cat who had caught the canary kind of voice….”Well, I used it!” She gushed.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 10/14/2010

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  • Prostitution “Experts” Versus Prostitutes: Why Don’t All Sex Workers Deserve a Voice? | Monica Shores |Huff Po – This ugly display of disrespect is unwarranted and near inexplicable. Why would these women be so threatened by sex workers organizing for themselves, gaining national attention, and working to influence public perception? Is the abolitionist narrative or abolitionists’ prominence as experts more important than the people they’re purporting to help? The poor thinking and outright bigotry exhibited by some anti-prostitution figures can no longer go unchallenged. Sex workers of all ages and genders deserve better advocacy than this, and thankfully, as the recent VAMP example proves, their demands for more honest discussion may no longer go unheard.
  • How Obscene is This! The Decency Clause Turns 20 — NCAC – In September 2010, the National Coalition Against Censorship, in partnership with the Vera List Center for Art and Politics at The New School and the BFA Department of Visual & Critical Studies at the School of Visual Arts, held a series of programs to highlight the effects 1990s attacks on culture continue to have on art and society and to reassess the state of art funding, censorship and self-censorship today. The programs included panel discussions, film screenings and event-specific videos.
  • PEEP SHOW Interview w/ Tristan Taormino, Part One « FilmSnobbery – Tristan’s written several books, including The Ultimate guide to Anal Sex for Women, and served as an editor for many others. She was a syndicated columnist for the Village Voice for almost ten years and currently writes an advice column for Taboo Magazine. Between her writing, her teaching, and her TV appearances, we feel lucky to have gotten her to answer our Peep Show questions.
  • Trve West Coast Fuck-Up Lit: Protection | Danny Wylde – Anyone who’s been a part of the adult industry for any significant amount of time has no doubt heard countless rumors about who’s an intravenous drug user, who escorts (a polite term for an upscale hooker), who has gay sex in their private life, and who has sex with transsexual women. Some of them are baseless, but a portion always turn out to be true. Each of the above stated behaviors could be considered “high risk,” and each are practiced by performers within the straight “side” of the industry. So when going to work, every performer puts themselves at risk. It’s a part of being a sex worker. Surely, no one wants to increase that risk, but finding a scape goat is the worst possible way to address the issue.

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Bookmarks

by Viviane on 09/30/2010

in del.icio.us,sex

  • The future of sexology comes to San Francisco with the Arse Elektronika conference | io9 – . I love this array of crazy science fiction/science/sex presentations that straddle the line between academic credibility and outright perversion.
  • Dr. Logan Levkoff: Sex Educators Unite to Support University Sex Weeks | Huffington Post – Though Brooks appeared to be concerned for students' and colleges' reputations, she offers no voice for the student organizers of these events or their faculty supporters (and hints at no discussion with them either). In an effort to present their voices, I reached out to sex educators, college student groups, and faculty members from various universities. Every educator and group contacted was frustrated by Brooks' mischaracterization of their events and their work. Many of them were outraged that the individual leading the charge against sex-themed programming was an economics professor with no experience in sexuality education. We decided to respond and together composed a Letter to the Editor of The Chronicle of Higher Education. It was sent it to the editors on September 16th.
  • Assistant attorney general blogs against gay student body president – CNN.com – For nearly six months, Andrew Shirvell, an assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan, has waged an internet campaign against college student Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student assembly president at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
  • Sexy Books: Celebrate your freedom to read during Banned Books Week | Examiner.com
  • Internet Pornographers Now Suing Pirates | Mashable – The producers have targeted users who downloaded titles that prominently feature transsexuals and “barely legal” 18-year old girls. Since the lawsuits are on public record, the defendants’ porn-viewing habits would be exposed.
  • Why Folsom St. Fair is Fun, Sexy and Important | Charlie Glickman – One of the key pieces of sex-positivity can be summed up by the acronym YKINMKBYKIOK, which stands for “Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK”. Once you realize that your turn-ons and your squicks come from within you, once you realize that it has less to do with what someone else is doing or saying than you think, you can discover much more sexual freedom within yourself.

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