From the monthly archives:

November 2009

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  • R-Wipe & Clean – CNET Download.com – We like this system-cleaning utility's feature set and flexibility. Naturally, R-Wipe & Clean can erase your browser's cache, cookies, temporary files, and typed URLs. In addition, you can securely delete any file via the right-click menu in Windows Explorer. You can perform common system deletions as well, such as emptying your Recycle Bin and erasing your Clipboard history.
  • They Shoot Porn Stars Don’t They | Words & photos by Susannah Breslin – A photo-and-text essay on the adult movie industry and the recession.
  • Want To Break Up? Tis The Season, So Better Hurry : NPR – It's not just turkeys that get nervous this time of year. Chances are high that a failing relationship will also meet its end during the holidays. That's because it's not just turkey season — it's turkey drop season.
  • The Complete Guide to Google Wave: How to Use Google Wave – The Complete Guide to Google Wave is a comprehensive user manual by Gina Trapani with Adam Pash. Google Wave is a new web-based collaboration tool that's notoriously difficult to understand. This guide will help. Here you'll learn how to use Google Wave to get things done with your group. Because Wave is such a new product that's evolving quickly, this guidebook is a work in progress that will update in concert with Wave as it grows and changes. Read more about The Complete Guide to Google Wave, and follow us on Twitter for updates and Wave tips.
  • A Few Questions for Belle de Jour, Call Girl and Scientist – Freakonomics Blog – NYTimes.com
  • Indecent Exposure: When Sex Workers Get Outed | Carnal New York – The most common complaint leveled at Belle both before and after the reveal is that her memoir "glamorizes" prostitution—as though simply telling the truth about one's life is synonymous with promoting those circumstances. It's fascinating that in both England and the US, selling sex for money is assumed to be so alluring to most women as to need nothing more than one woman's non-traumatic experiences to convince thousands of others to join the hooker ranks. (Perhaps this is, in some ways, tacit acknowledgement of how few high-paying careers seem readily accessible to women or the pay gap that exists in both countries?)

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Pawtucket, RI November 26, 2009 – The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH), the first non-profit sexuality resource and information center in South Eastern New England, is set to go before the appeal board on November 30th @ 630pm to challenge a zoning decision that prevented it from opening in September.

After a controversial zoning decision was made by Pawtucket zoning officer Ron Travers, The CSPH was not permitted to open. The reason for denial was a lack of zoning clause for “education” to take place within the Grant Building. The CSPH was not permitted to open because its mission states it works to provide education.

After numerous national and local news organizations picked up the story and interviewed city officials, it became clear that the Pawtucket city officers had given pre-textual reasons for not allowing The CSPH to open. Harvey Goulet, the City’s director of administration, was quoted as objecting to “this type of business” as “not really something we feel is appropriate for our city.” The ACLU has weighed in on the battle regarding adult sex education stating in a press release “the city’s intent is to suppress the speech that would occur at the Center. Such content-based discrimination raises serious constitutional concerns.”

Liberal, conservative, moderate and libertarian news media have all been in favor to allow The CSPH to open and they agree that the location and the presentation are appropriate for the environment it is currently housed in. Neighbors of The CSPH have housed petitions requesting the center to be able to open. Providence Journal writer Bob Kerr and popular conservative talk radio host Dan Yorke have both voiced support for The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health.

Ms. Andelloux, the director of the non-profit Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health is a certified sexuality educator who wants to provide the adult community with a safe place to access information about sexuality issues. The Appeal Board meeting will take place in the Monday, November 30th, at the Pawtucket City Hall, 3rd floor at 630pm. The public is invited to attend.

For questions or statements contact Megan Andelloux at 401.345.8685

# # #

If you’d like to express your support for the CPSH, here’s a form letter Megan sent me. You can  fax a letter to (401)772-3356 or call (401) 728-0500 and ask for Anna Salum to voice your concern on Monday. Here is a sample copy of one:

City of Pawtucket Board of Appeals
137 Roosevelt Avenue
Pawtucket, RI 02860

Dear Members of the Appeal Board,

I am writing on behalf of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH) and it’s founder/director, Megan Andelloux. I want to voice my support for The CSPH, the positive work it will do and the vital services it will provide.

As a person I appreciate that there will be a place where one may openly seek medically accurate, safe information about a subject that is often hard to address. As a business owner, I appreciate the passion and dedication that Ms. Andelloux is applying to starting a ground-breaking, non-profit organization in Pawtucket, RI.

Lastly, as a concerned citizen outside of Pawtucket, I am in shock that the members of this city would object to bringing more revenue and visitors because they believe of a “lack of zoning”. I have been reading the newspaper articles since the beginning of this situation and it has become glaring obvious that this lack of zoning is a veiled attempt to cover the city’s panic about talking openly on sexuality issues. With prevailing attitudes like this, it is apparent to me that the CSPH is arriving just in the nick of time to open our minds and our hearts to a world of new possibilities.

I urge you to support the entrepreneurship of Ms. Andelloux and to support the growth of Pawtucket through business people who think outside the box.

Sincerely yours,

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Chelsea G. Summers:

. . .In your dark days, you can count these euphoric moments like rosary beads. The time you remained fully clothed as you carefully disrobed another laying waste to his jacket, his tie, his shirt, his shoes, his socks, his pants, his t-shirt and finally his man panties, until he lied on your bed like a creamy white éclair and then you ate him up, fucked and ate him until he swum in his own happy sauce. You recall the time you slowly fingerbanged this woman until the juice of her sloppy cunt ran dripping to your elbow, her pussy ululating like an anemone, her voice singing beatific songs. You summon the time you spread your ass and slowly, incrementally, lowered yourself onto a man’s cock with sadistic precision. You recollect the moment you and your lover spread yourselves across the sky and your celestial fucking made new worlds and fresh galaxies.

Link

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3 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: Nov 26   Dec 2

Thursday, November 26
Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 27
DSF: “Spanksgiving BDSM Party”
Stimulate party
Paradise Lost party

Saturday, November 28

Sunday, November 29
New York Bondage Club
Suspension party

Monday, November 30
CV: “Cutting and Kink: Transformations of Self-Mutilation into Erotic Play & Body Modification”

Tuesday, December 1
TES: ” Flogging” w/ Valentine

Wednesday, December 2
TES Dominant Men/submissive women SIG: “Getting in touch with your inner playground”

8 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: Nov 26   Dec 2

Bobbi Starr and Mistress Matisse on everythingbutt.com

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daido 5 red 500px Dai do 5 by Big Teaze Toys

The Dai-dos are a new line of innovative, beautifully designed sex toys by Big Teaze Toys.  Big Teaze Toys are known for creating inventive and fun quality sex toys like their popular iconic Rub My Ducky vibrating massagers.  Their new line, the Dai-dos, are non-vibrating dildos (or instruments of enduring pleasure…) crafted from anodized Aluminum alloy.  Not too many sex toy manufacturers are creating metal sex toys, so this alone makes the Dai-dos unique.  But, what really makes these toys stand out is the distinctive design of artistically seductive forms which combine simple sophistication with practical function.

The Dai-dos come in six fundamental shapes, each designed for a certain purpose and function.  I received the Dai-do No.5 which is for “serious g-spot and p-spot (prostate) stimulation”.  At first, I really thought the design was more for anal play, but was assured that the Dai-do No.5 was a G-spot toy.  It was so different for any other G-spot toy I had ever used that I was a bit perplexed about how it would work, but eager to find out.

The Dai-do No.5 is made from solid Aluminum (with stainless steel trim) and weighs 14 oz, so feels quite substantial.  The large spherical handle is ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in your hand and the thick band of slip-resistant silicone makes it easier to position and control.  The Dai-do No.5 features a graduated ball design with three bulbous balls attached to the spherical handle, each getting slightly smaller toward the tip, much like graduated anal beads.  The insertable length is 3” with a diameter of 1 ½” at its largest circumference. Although the length seems trivial, it is more than enough to hit the G-spot which is normally about 1-2” inside the vagina.

For me, it was the second ball from the end that massaged my G-spot best.  I couldn’t quite fit the largest, third ball inside me, and the smallest ball on the end didn’t feel any different than the head of a regular rounded dildo.  It stimulated myself clitorally to begin and came way to quick.  But, that was fine as I was plenty warmed-up upon inserting the Dai-do.  I applied quite a bit of lube for insertion, but didn’t really need as much as I used as it made the ball handle too slippery.  So I wiped off the excess lube and then was able to hold onto the handle much better.

At first, when my G-spot was still unaroused, the Dai-do wasn’t particularly stimulating, but felt interesting.  I slowly moved it in and out, enjoying the cool sensation and getting used to the distinctive feeling of the balls rubbing against my G-spot.  This sensation was definitely something different and unique, something I have not experienced from any other sex toy design.  I wasn’t sure how much I liked it at first but continued to slowly pump it in and out and roll it around inside of me.  Soon—it didn’t take long at all—and the sensation turned from curious and indifferent to very erotic, and I began pumping it harder and faster as my G-spot swelled with pleasure.  Once fully aroused, my G-spot responded to the toy with passionate fondness and in no time I was squirting excessive amounts of hot gushing fluid.  I did this until my hand got tired and I couldn’t come anymore, which left me weak and blissed-out.  I had one of the best night sleeps I have experienced for a long while.

I am seriously impressed with the Dai-do Line from Big Teaze Toys, being one of the most innovative designs that I have seen in quite a while.  Big Teaze definitely deserves an award for this one.  They are gorgeously designed, quality products in which form meets function in the most sophisticated, yet simple way.  The Dai-dos are luxury sex toys and so attractively shaped that no-one would know that they were anything more that art objects, or chic back massagers.  Add to that the sexy metallic Red Devotion or Black Passion colors that the toys come in, and you have a stunning piece of erotic fine art perfectly suited for display.  The Dai-do is tactile and begs to be touched, so much so, that I find myself inadvertently playing with it like a serenity ball while it sits on my desk.  Being made of solid aluminum, the Dai-do is waterproof, non-porous, sterilizable and body-friendly.

Check out the whole line of Dai-dos from Big Teaze Toys.  You won’t be disappointed!

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  • Chris Carr Photo: Casting for male and female models in DC and NY… – I am working on a Photo project titled, “Sex is a Weapon”. I will be shooting in DC and NY. You can see some of my work at http://eatthecakenyc.viewbook.com. This project will directly address sex and sexuality. Some of the images will be meant to challenge the observer, some of the images will be meant for me to challenge myself (take myself out of my comfort zone), and challenge people’s notions of sexuality and intimacy.
    My influences for this are Mapplethorpe, Newton and Richardson
  • Teaching With Twitter: Not for the Faint of Heart – Technology – The Chronicle of Higher Education – Opening up a Twitter-powered channel in class—which several professors at other universities are experimenting with as well—alters classroom power dynamics and signals to students that they’re in control. Fans of the approach applaud technology that promises to change professors’ role from “sage on the stage” to “guide on the side.” Those phrases are familiar to education reformers, who have long argued that colleges must make education more interactive to hold the interest of today’s students.
  • Curbing Your Comments At Conferences – “Are attendees paying proper attention to the speaker, or are they busy monitoring the backchannel? Having laptops open for this is rude, and using them to target speakers is abusive. If event organizers allow this to happen, speakers will stop coming. Or speakers will change their message to a populist one, which is no good to anyone,” he says.
  • Sexually Transmitted Infection Rates Continue To Rise In The US | Kinsey Confidential – Yet more reason to support sites like Scarleteen: “Further, according to the work of Jessica Fields, a sociologist at San Francisco State University, even when students do receive comprehensive sexuality education, the images they see and the content surround the lives and sexualities of white, able-bodied, heterosexual people; in her book Risky Lessons: Sex Education and Social Inequality, she notes that people of color, people with disabilities, and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people do not see images of themselves, nor do they hear content that pertains to their lives and sexualities. It’s no wonder that these are some of the groups that also have higher rates of STIs.”
  • apophenia: spectacle at Web2.0 Expo… from my perspective – The problem with a public-facing Twitter stream in events like this is that it FORCES the audience to pay attention the backchannel. So even audience members who want to focus on the content get distracted. Most folks can’t multitask that well. And even if I had been slower and less dense, my talks are notoriously too content-filled to make multi-tasking possible for the multi-tasking challenged. This is precisely why I use very simplistic slides that evokes images for the visual types in the room without adding another layer of content. But the Twitter stream fundamentally adds another layer of content that the audience can’t ignore, that I can’t control. And that I cannot even see. …Speaking of which… what’s with the folks who think it’s cool to objectify speakers and talk about them as sexual objects? The worst part of backchannels for me is being forced to remember that there are always guys out there who simply see me as a fuckable object.

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Amy (I Feel Myself)

by Viviane on 11/24/2009

in galleries

banner003 Amy (I Feel Myself)

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Candida Royalle says on her Face book-

Anyone catch Jenna Jameson on the Oprah show? Jenna trying to take credit for ‘feminist porn’ was a joke. Only thing worse was watching Vivid founder Steve Hirsch try to take credit for the ‘couples market’. Oh really? Was he even in business when I created my Femme line for women and couples in 1984? Oprah couldn’t h…ave looked more uncomfortable. I guess even Oprah has to play the game for November sweeps month.

So here’s the deal: I was called by the producers in June and worked with them for 5 months on that show…only to be canned at the last minute along with a bevy of other far more qualified and significant women who made a difference for women in porn…like Nina Hartley who graduated Magna cum Laude in nursing and has directed her own ‘how to’ vids for years, and Jamye Waxman who has a masters in Sex Ed and who’s written two self-help books for women and directed pro-woman vids…

In the end they went for the most famous, wealthiest and recognizable person who they hoped would bring in the ratings…it is after all sweeps month. I think the most telling moment was when a rather shell-shocked looking Oprah turned to her audience with a forced smile and asked, ‘Did we all learn something? Did we all have fun?’, and the camera panned the entire audience, and NONE of them, not ONE, applauded or had a smile on their face. They were completely bemused.

Link

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Belle de Jour

by Viviane on 11/20/2009

in bloggers,sex blogs

(…) What it took me years to realise is that while I’ve changed a lot since writing these diaries – my life has moved on so much, in part thanks to the things that happened then – Belle will always be a part of me. She doesn’t belong in a little box, but as a fully acknowledged side of a real person. The non-Belle part of my life isn’t the only ‘real’ bit, it’s ALL real.

Belle and the person who wrote her had been apart too long. I had to bring them back together.

So a perfect storm of feelings and circumstances drew me out of hiding. And do you know what? It feels so much better on this side. Not to have to tell lies, hide things from the people I care about. To be able to defend what my experience of sex work is like to all the sceptics and doubters.

Anonymity had a purpose then – it will always have a reason to exist, for writers whose work is too damaging or too controversial to put their names on. But for me, it became important to acknowledge that aspect of my life and my personality to the world at large.

I am a woman. I lived in London. I was a call girl.

The people, the places, the actions and feelings are as true now as they were then, and I stand behind every word with pride. Thank you for reading and following my adventures.

Love, Belle

via Link

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Lolita1 Lolitas One in 8 Million!

(New York Times photo by Todd Heisler)

Lolita Wolf (“The Kinky Lover”) was profiled in the fucken New York Times! The “One in 8 Million” series profiles New Yorkers in sound and images. Click on the screencap above to be taken to the video. How refreshing to see BDSM portrayed without snark or sneering. Congratulations, Lolita!

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NJ.001 500 1 NJoy Pure Wand from Pink Cherry

I have been coveting an NJoy Pure Wand ever since I saw Nina Hartley’s “Guide to Female Ejaculation” [my review] when Anna Mills squirts copious amounts of girl cum while using this ultimate G-spot wonder toy.  Before that, I had squirted on occasion but wasn’t in control of my G-spot orgasms and ejaculations like I am now.  Back then, which was only a few months ago, I was in the process of rediscovering that part of my female anatomy and Nina’s guide got me started on the right path.  From there I read several books, practiced with the correct “tools” and was off to the races, ejaculation-style.

Since then, I have used several excellent G-spot toys (which you can check out in my G-spot Girl’s Resource Guide).  But, I knew that the Pure Wand was the ultimate in attaining G-spot pleasure.  How did I know?  Well, first was all the cooing and praise given to it by reviewers.  But, I was also aware that the G-spot requires two specific qualities to make it effective: 1) an exaggerated G-spot curve, and 2) a firm material.

NJ.001 500 4 NJoy Pure Wand from Pink Cherry

As you can see by the photo, the Pure Wand has a very exaggerated curve.  This curve is important for effectively hitting the G-spot (rubbing, bumping, grinding and thrusting).  The Pure Wand also features two rounded bulbs on each end, one fairly larger than the other.  These rounded bulbs are perfectly designed for massaging the G-spot, and is another feature you should look for in a G-spot toy.  Pointy tips will not do!  The smaller bulb is great for the beginning of your masturbation session and is easily inserted into the vagina while you warm it up.  The larger bulb is pretty big and will make you feel completely full.  It may be too large for some women actually.  I found it a bit of an effort to insert, but once in there it put a pleasurable pounding on my G-spot that left me squirting and shaking.  I also preferred the feeling of the larger rounded head to the smaller one against my spot once it was fully sensitive and ballooning with fluid.

The Pure Wand is constructed of medical grade, stainless steel (the kind of steel used in the pins that surgeon’s use to reconnect joints within the body).  So you know it is 100% body safe.  And, stainless steel is the hardest sex toy material available next to kryptonite.  That makes the Pure Wand a perfect material for G-spot play, because as we know, the G-spot prefers hard, firm pressure.

I have read a lot of misconceptions about how to use G-spot toys (specifically dildos) by reviewers and consumers.  Many of them state that toys with a very exaggerated curve, like the Pure Wand, make it hard for them to thrust the toy deeply into their vagina.  They are exactly right.  This is because G-spot toys are not supposed to go much deeper than 2-3 inches inside the vagina.  For most women, the G-spot is only 1-2 inches deep.  So deep thrusting would actually miss the G-spot entirely.  Consequently, for the many women who have tried G-spot curved toys and think they are not working for them because they can’t use them for deep thrusting, I want to clarify that this is not how the toy is intended to be used.  Sure, short, hard thrusting can work well, once the G-spot is warmed up and fully aroused, but massaging, rubbing and rocking with the toy will work much better for hitting and pleasuring the G-spot.  The Pure Wand, again, is perfectly ergonomically designed to “rock” up and down against the G-spot in a pounding, rubbing movement and is only good for short (1-3 inch) thrusts.  Also, its natural weight (24 ounces) makes it easy to use in this motion with its own momentum.

So, stop trying to reach your cervix with a G-spot toy or you will definitely never find that “elusive” spot!  And, I don’t say that to be saucy.  I say it because I do want women to discover their G-spots and realize the pleasure that G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation can bring.  Maybe I should do I work shop on how to use G-spot toys!

Okay.  I have almost every type of high quality G-spot toy ever made.  How does the Pure Wand compare?  It doesn’t.  Seriously, the Pure Wand is in a category all by itself.  It is the ultimate G-spot wonder toy and is the best G-spot toy I have ever used.  It is indeed worthy of all the hype.  It took me less than two minutes to squirt and have crazy body-quaking G-spot amazing O’s with the Pure Wand.  I also loved the cool feeling of the metal against my vulva and once inserted.  The Pure Wand is excellent for temperature play.  Some women will not like the cold feeling, which is not a problem as you can heat it up with very warm water before play as well.  Finally, the medical grade stainless steel is hypo-allergenic, non-porous and can be easily sterilized in boiling water if you plan to share it with your friends-with-benefits.  The Pure Wand comes in a sexy black box with hot pink satin lining, so also makes an ideal gift.

If you want the Ultimate G-spot toy, get the NJoy Pure Wand at Pinkcherry.com.  Shopping in Canada?  Try Pinkcherry.ca!

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11 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: November 19 25

Thursday, November 19
TES Queer SIG: “PIY: Porn It Yourself” w/ Sinclair Sexsmith, Blaise & Nayland
Staten Island Kink munch
Alphabet Soup

Friday, November 20
Le Cercle des Dommes meeting
DSF: “Righting The Ship” w/ Lolita, Boymeat, Bo, Efrain Gonzalez, Michael, Lady Elaina & Morpheus

Saturday, November 21
Brooklyn Leather munch
TES Spanking Group: Rachael Kramer Bussel Returns!
TES Novice Excursion hosted by Lady D & Bo
TES Burlesque Party
SPAM party

Sunday, November 22
New York Bondage Club

Monday, November 23
CV: “BDSM ER” w/ Sir Guy

Tuesday, November 24
TES: “Submissive and Service Archetypes” w/ Laine

Wednesday, November 25
TES TEC at TES: “Animal Round UP”

1 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: November 19 25

Tristan Jaxx and Drake Jaden on boundgods.com

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