From the monthly archives:

February 2009

cinekink1 Cinekink 2009: Weekend screenings

Filmmakers Bret Wood (The Other Half, 2008) and Robert Pratten (MindFLESH, 2008) with Cinekink's Lisa Vandever.

1) TONIGHT…PERSONAL GROWTH, WANTON FEMALE DESIRE AND GRAPHIC SEXUAL HORROR!

***Friday, February 27th – 6:45 pm

THE WORKSHOP
(Jamie Morgan, 2007, USA, 80 minutes)
In a wooded glade somewhere near San Francisco, a group of people, all in search of a higher personal truth, come together to take part in a 10-day workshop led by spiritual leader Paul Lowe. On day one they are told to introduce themselves and meet everyone else completely naked-and that’s just the start–as “The Workshop” challenges the boundaries of normal convention and takes on societal constructs of sexuality and monogamy.

Enlightenment achieved? Maybe. But searing emotional honesty, full nudity and the exorcising of inner demons are all the hallmarks of this controversial personal growth technology, as well as this provocative documentary.

preceded by…

World Premiere
ARTIST PISSING (IN 3D)
(Benjamin Wilson, 2008, USA, 1 minute)
For description, please see title.

A review

***Friday, February 27 – 9:00 PM

“Wanton Female Desire” (Shorts Program)
What is it that a woman wants?  Most of the answers are infinitely varied, but the shorts in this celebration of female pleasure will help guide you in one generally appropriate direction.

Program includes:

TEAT BEAT OF SEX: 8, 9, 10 & 11
(Signe Baumane, 2007, USA, 7 minutes)
A young girl experiences her first kiss and then a first make-out session. Some wild thoughts run through her head. She isn’t sure what she is supposed to feel but is intrigued to continue exploring.  It takes years to get to sex.

US Premiere!
MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY
(Mike Hallett, 2008, United Kingdom, 12 minutes)
A sly comedy about the unholy trinity of religion, masturbation and teddy bears.

US Premiere!
BARCELONA SEX PROJECT: IRINA
(Erika Lust, 2008, Spain, 19 minutes)
In this chapter from an erotic documentary that delves deep into the personal self-pleasurings of six individuals, Irina, a web-designer and gaming geek, talks a bit about her life and shows a lot about what makes her happy.

CASE 1112: FORTY IS THE NEW 14
(Vena Virago, 2008, USA, 5 minutes)
Inspired by Richard Von Krafft-Ebing’s “Psychopathia Sexualis,” this is a contemporary and autobiographical account of a compulsive and sentimental masturbator.

US Premiere!
STRAP ON MOTEL
(Maria Beatty, 2008, France, excerpt/13 minutes)
Flashbacks of a feverish night at a clandestine motel continue to haunt a beautiful young dancer.

FOOTSIE
(Eva Midgley, 2008, UK, 3 minutes)
A pleasurable encounter between female foot and male member.
(As seen at Tuesday’s kick-off gala…another chance to catch it!)

US Premiere!
MATINEE
(Jennifer Lyon Bell, 2009, Netherlands, 34 minutes)
Actors Mariah and Daniel play lovers every night, but their onstage romance lacks spark. One slow afternoon, they discover that today’s matinée performance will make or break both of their careers. Daniel wants to make big changes, and Mariah starts to wonder: are Daniel’s suggestions reasonable? Rushed to the stage, in front of a live audience, they must figure it out together.

Directors Eva Midgley (FOOTSIE) and Jennifer Lyon Bell (MATINEE) will take part in a Q&A after the screening.

***Friday, February 27 – 11:10 PM

Tickets are going fast, advance purchase is highly recommended!

East Coast Premiere!
GRAPHIC SEXUAL HORROR
(Barbara Bell and Anna Lorentzon, 2008, USA, 86 minutes)
Takes a long peek behind the imposing facade of Insex.com, the most notorious of bondage websites, to explore the dark mind of its artistic creator, known as “PD,” and ask hard questions about consent and personal responsibility. Incorporating original Insex.com footage, behind-the-scenes interactions and interviews with its creator, members, models and staff, the documentary reveals deep fascinations with bondage and sadomasochism that run parallel and, in fact, can become irreversibly entwined with the lure of money.

preceded by…

East Coast Premiere!
SPOILED
(Usama Alshaibi, 2008, USA, 6 minutes)
What’s that you’ve got in your handbag, little girl?

Directors Barbara Bell and Anna Lorentzon will both be on hand for a post-screening discussion, along with several of the subjects profiled in their compelling documentary.

An interview with one of the ‘Graphic Sexual Horror’ directors

2) TOMORROW…BDSM, SEX WORK, COMEDY AND A DOUBLE-HEADER SALUTE TO ADULT CINEMA!

12:30 PM
Kicking off Saturday, February 28 at 12:30 pm, KINKY, a sexy, informative and humorous look at black sexuality, fetish and kink, plays with several other BDSM-related shorts–BDSM: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, ONLY THE BEST and COCKSUCKER.

2:30 pm
Then, at 2:30 pm, it’s time for HAPPY ENDINGS?, an intriguing exploration of the Asian massage parlor industry in Providence, Rhode Island, where a 25-year-old loophole has made the exchange of sex for money legal–as long as it happens behind closed doors.

4:30 pm
At 4:30 PM, the comedic MARTA’S SEX TAPE, about a painter who decides to make “special films” to pay off a loan, plays with two other colorful shorts on some ins-and-outs of work in the adult sphere – ORANGE PEEL and DACIA’S LOVE MACHINE.

6:45 pm
At 6:45 pm, it’s TWISTED KNICKERS, a swirl of assorted comedic kinky bits, some of them funny “ha-ha,” some of them just, well, a little off-kilter.  Program includes KALEIDOSCOPTICS, THE VERY FIRST DESIRE NOW AND FOREVER, SEXERCISE, ASK JENNA LEIGH: VIRGINITY, SEXY CLOWN BITCH, KRAZY KOCK, SWEDISH BLUEBALLS, UN PIEDE DI ROMAN POLANSKI, VALLEY OF THE DOMMES, BLUNDER, ASK JENNA LEIGH: SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SUCKER and RUBBERHEART

9:00 pm
At 9:00 pm, THE AUTEUR, a mélange of romantic comedy and raunchy satire set in the world of adult film, tells the story of renowned porn director Arturo Domingo, the creative genius behind classics like ‘Five Easy Nieces’ and ‘Requiem for a Wet Dream,’ who has arrived in Portland, Oregon to receive a Lifetime Achievement award at a film festival. (Plays with JE DIS NON, ALI and AT THE PORN SHOP.)

11:10 pm
And rounding out our regular screening schedule at 11:10 pm with BRING IT!, a dazzling array of talent from today’s adult cinema, working in a wide range of genres and visual styles, step up with a hot sampling of their recent creative endeavors.  Works excerpted in this program include BUCKBACK MOUNTAIN (Lawrence Roberts/Buck Angel), CHEMISTRY, VOL. 3 (Tristan Taormino), CORRUPTION, POST-APOCALYPTIC COWGIRLS (Maria Beatty), THE SURRENDER OF O (Ernest Greene), UPLOAD: THE EMERGENCY ROUGH-CUT (Kylie Ireland) and VOLUPTUOUS BIKER BABES (Carlos Batts).

LOCATIONS & TICKETS

All screenings will be at:
Anthology Film Archives, 32 Second Avenue (@ 2nd St.),NYC (Google Maps)

Tickets: $10/door; $8/advance; $6/seniors & students, door only

Schedule and ticket purchase links
Alpha list of all films/parties

4) CINEKINK AWARDS
Come out and drink a toast to this year’s fantastic crop of CineKink filmmakers! Featuring encore screenings of jury-selected best shorts from the festival, along with presentations of the annual CineKink Awards-including your votes for Audience Choice!

Sunday, March 1 @ 6:00
Location: The Delancey, 168 Delancey Street, NYC
Admission: Free!

5) DON’T MISS OUT ON THE AFTERGLOW!
You’ll definitely want to make plans for our popular Afterglow Party, one last chance to meet, mix and mingle with your fellow CineKinksters and enjoy a few more select screenings, this time in a relaxed play party setting. Lounge on the sofas, find yourself a private nook or recline across a spanking bench and settle in for one final evening of CineKinky goodness unfolding all around you. Feel free to bring your toy bag! Priority VIP admission will be given to CineKink NYC All-Access Pass holders, but a limited number of advance purchase admissions will be available.

Sunday, March 1 @ 8:30 PM
Location: Mid-town loft setting, address given upon RSVP/purchase
Admission: $30/individuals, $50/couples, $60/triads; advance purchase only, absolutely no door sales

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NCSF has been contacted by over a dozen concerned members of the BDSM community in New York about the arrests of dozens of professional Dominatrices in Manhattan that started in early 2008. The pro-Domme community in New York City, which has been a vibrant part of the BDSM community for decades, has been ravaged by these prosecutions for prostitution and for promoting prostitution, resulting in the closure of a number of pro-Domme houses.

NCSF contacted the Manhattan DA’s office in order to clarify what sort of “for-pay” BDSM activities are considered legal in New York State. On February 5th, Susan Wright, along with outside counsel, met with ADA Leroy Frazer and Lisa Friel, head of the Sex Crimes Unit, to get their legal opinion.

Pro-Dommes have traditionally considered their BDSM-for-pay to be legal. One case decided by a local misdemeanor court, People v. Georgia A., 163 Misc.2d 634 (Crim. Ct. Kings Co. 1994), supports this position, holding that “sado-masochistic acts such as domination, foot licking, spanking and submission” are not “sexual conduct” prohibited by the prostitution statute. However, that decision is not binding even on other misdemeanor courts, and Ms. Friel described it as “not worth the paper it was written on.” Also, as stated in Georgia A.:

“The term sexual conduct is not defined in the statute but has since been described in various cases. That conduct includes acts of masturbation, homosexuality, sexual intercourse, or physical contact of the person’s clothed or unclothed genitals, buttocks or a woman’s breast. ( People v Block, 71 Misc 2d 714 [1972].)”

According to ADA Frazer, their office does not make prosecution of pro-Dommes a priority. However, according to their interpretation of the law, any form of “payment in exchange for touching in an intimate place either over clothing or nude” would constitute prostitution. This includes any touching of the genitals, anus, and breasts.

Under Georgia A, certain BDSM activities such as humiliation, role-play, foot worship, D/s, service activities, and bondage were found to be exempt from the prostitution statute, as long as no other sexual activities were involved.  Ms. Friel opined Georgia A is based on a misunderstanding of the scope of the prostitution statute and that “sexual conduct” should be defined as what is arousing to the participants, not what is arousing to the outside “vanilla” observer.

Therefore, activities such as flogging, CBT or genitorture, spanking, body worship and nipple torture, in addition to more overtly sexual activities, would fall within the Manhattan DA’s understanding of prostitution when they are done for pay and either party is aroused by them.

NCSF opposes the prosecution of pro-dominants under prostitution laws. Consenting adults engaging in safe, sane, consensual SM, fetishes, and cross-dressing services do not pose legitimate health or safety issues for local communities. What these adults agree to do in private is no one else’s business.

NCSF is currently exploring ways to cooperate with other sex-positive activist groups in New York City to protest these arrests, as well as the alleged entrapment and arrests of gay men for prostitution. If you have been arrested for prostitution for doing BDSM activities, or if you would like more information, please contact: susanw@ncsfreedom.org

February 11, 2009

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homemidori14 10 Four Classes with Midori in Las Vegas @ Erotic Heritage Museum

Midori by Michele Serchuk (www.photodiva.com)

Wild Side Weekend with Midori. March 14th and 15th

  • Predicament Bondage
  • Hands-on Rope Body Harness
  • Pink Japan: Contemporary Sex Culture (Discount on-line tickets available)
  • Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice (Discount on-line tickets available)

**** **** ****
Details:

SATURDAY, MARCH 14TH

URL: http://www.nawayoi.info/
(Inquire with Nawayoi on possible advance ticket purchase)
Location: Museum of Erotic Heritage. 3275 Industrial Road
Cost $25 at the door.

~ ~
11:30am – 2pm Predicament Bondage
Here’s a class for fun-loving, wicked tops and for bottoms who enjoy a challenge. A predicament bondage creates a situation where the bottom is ‘between a rock and a hard place.’ Which ever direction the bottom moves has consequences, either physical or psychological. It can challenge your endurance, your pain threshold, or your pride.

The class will include several demos, and you may have an opportunity to volunteer for one. If you’re a service bottom or an escape artist, you may get a new challenge!

~ ~

3pm – 5pm Hands-on Rope Body Harness
Rope bondage can be simple, elegant, effective and sensual, but if you don’t know how to do it right, it can be dangerous.

Midori will teach you how to use this versatile bondage tool to maximize fun and minimize risks. Learn basic techniques including two-column restraint, body harnesses and creative positions. Midori is the author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and is an expert in safe and effective Japanese inspired rope bondage.

Wear comfortable clothing and bring a minimum of 2 lengths of 15 feet and 2 of 25 feet of rope.

*****

SUNDAY, MARCH 15TH

Info and Advanced Ticket Purchase

Location: Museum of Erotic Heritage. 3275 Industrial Road
Cost $20 advance on-line or $25 at the door.
~ ~

3pm – 5pm Pink Japan: Contemporary Sex Culture

From cuisine, music, fashion, technology to anime, Japan’s cultural influences on the West is immense. In many ways the Japanese erotic cultures are also influencing today’s Western tastes. Yet the daily realities of Japan’s gender relations, sexual habits, sexual consumer culture and gay/lesbian/transgendered world remain hidden to us, creating an aura of mystique. In this funny and insightful talk, join Midori for a double-expatriate’s photo tour of Japan’s hidden sexual culture today.

Midori is a Kyoto born, Japanese-American author and sex educator based in San Francisco. Raised by trail blazing feminist professors in Japan, she’s well versed with the contradiction that is 21st Century Japan. Graduated from UC Berkeley with a degree in psychology and trained as a sex educator, she possesses a keen insight into culture and sexuality. www.PlanetMidori.com

~ ~
7pm – 9pm Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice

The brain is the biggest sex organ and the voice can be the most powerful tool to create the hottest sensual encounters. Midori will show you how to use the hypnotic magic of the voice to seduce your lover long before you enter the bedroom or the dungeon.

Learn how to suggest, command, tease and take control with the art of voice. Enjoy practical exercises, tips and secrets of aural seduction. Most of the class will address fundamentals and skills applicable to all sensual encounters. Then bring the magic of Scheherazade to your bedroom. Incorporating seductive voice techniques learned in this class to heat up the bedroom and add spice to your erotic life. Mesmerize your lover and transport both of you to an erotic landscape. Learn how to build and enrich a powerful fantasy, practice effective voice techniques and spellbinding.

In this hands-on workshop style class you’ll learn techniques of finding out yours and your lovers fantasy, practice story telling skills and improve them with Midori’s gentle guidance.

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Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless (2008)
(Real People, Real Life, Real Sex series)
Studio: Comstock Films
Director: Tony Comstock
Cast: Bill and Desiree

billanddesiree Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless

I didn’t know quite what to expect when I received “Bill and Desiree: Love is Timeless” by Comstock Films for review.  Would I enjoy watching “older lovers” in their “later years” making love on film?  Well, within the first few minutes my doubts were eased as I watched Bill passionately recount how he and Desiree first met and how he was “blown away” by her “beautiful genitals” in the pre-sex interview.  I was immediately drawn into the film through Bill’s joyful candor and enthusiasm, who is like a school-boy enamored by new love.  I thought: “This is not going to be your typical film.”  And, it definitely isn’t.  Bill and Desiree have much to share with the viewer through their celebration of sex, love and desire, with a few erotic revelations thrown in that might surprise you as well.

Bill and Desiree are an attractive 50-something couple who are recreational naturists and happened to meet at a “clothing optional” event.  Bill is charming, endearing and gregarious; a bohemian poet who is thrilled to be in the prime of his life.  Desiree is exquisite (Bill refers to her as a “Goddess”) with a lovely glowing face, expressive eyes and an animated smile.  You can immediately tell that they are each other’s “soul mates” as they reminisce about their “delirious” love making on their first real date in Sam Taylor Park under the Redwoods where they are stumbled upon by a spotted-owl researcher.

During the interview, they talk about the importance of human touch and how they stay connected through what Desiree calls “a daily nourishment”.  Bill also discusses how mainstream pornography and sexual “how-to” advice can be damaging as it sets unrealistic goals to perform and try to achieve magic every time.  “Peak experiences are just that,” says Bill, “Not every experience is Mount Everest”.  What I learned through watching Bill and Desiree is how accommodating and self-less they give themselves to each other, not always interested in orgasm for themselves, but delighted to give each other pleasure and enjoy what they receive with so much gratitude.  This is the way relationships should be and I have to thank Bill and Desiree for sharing their respect, love and passion with the world, for it is so inspiring and wonderful to see.

Another aspect of their relationship is that they approach their lovemaking as an adventure, constantly trying new things.  Bill laughs as he tells the viewer about Desiree making love to him with her strap-on, then later in the film gives her dildo a blow-job as they giggle blissfully.  They use a lot of variation during their lovemaking scene, switching sexual techniques and types of foreplay with penetration and back again.  This takes the pressure off Bill to constantly perform as their desire gains momentum through sensual valleys and rapturous peaks, building until their ultimate climax.

Everything they do, they do with exhilaration and wild abandon.  They explore their sexual love like children who are delighted and amazed by everything they see and touch.  I had a perma-smile welded on my face as I watched them make love with such tenderness: their smiles, laughter and joy radiating out of the screen to affect me as well.  It was so powerful and beautifully poignant to watch their sweet ecstatic moans and tearful orgasms as they convulsed with ecstasy.

This film could not have been made by anyone else.  Tony Comstock’s camera-style invites you in-close and intimate-focusing on the joy on their faces, the tenderness with which they hold each other’s hands, the gaze in their eyes as they immerse themselves in their shared moment of bliss.  Comstock uses what I call a “haptic” style of cinematography, in that the lighting is soft and muted with a somewhat diffused quality and close-up sensuality that evokes the sense of touch.  Unlike mainstream porn that is glaring, stark and in your face, Comstock’s films seductively roam the bodies of their participants like a lover’s touch, moving in and out of focus, in a way that highlights the physical beauty between two lovers and celebrates sexual intimacy as an art form in itself.  In this way, Bill and Desiree become more than just the components of their sexual moving parts, as their emotional, spiritual and amorous bond transcends the screen.

“Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless” is a magnificent film: a sexual tapestry of touch, unconditional love, and vivacious desire.  This film should be a part of the curriculum in Sex-Ed classes and is a must-see for all couples regardless of age.  It will inspire couples how to stay passionate, vibrant and innovative in their approach to love and sex, no matter at what stage they may find themselves on their journey through life.

Comstock Films: Real People, Real Life, Real Sex.

You can buy Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless (Real People, Real Life, Real Sex series) Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless from Amazon.com

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Valentina

by Viviane on 02/26/2009

in galleries

abbyban emelia3 Valentina

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22 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: Feb 26 Mar 4

James Deen and Ami Emerson on sexandsubmission.com

Thursday, February 26
CineKink
Graphic Sexual Horror Launch Party 8pm at Bar 40C

Friday, February 27
DSF: “Anatomy of a scene” w/ Valentine & Sub Tara
Le Cercle des Dommes
CineKink

Saturday, February 28
CineKink
Professional Dominatrix Rope Share
Submit party

Sunday, March 1
MAsT Metro NY: “Starting From Scratch: Building a New M/s Relationship”
CineKink Awards Celebration
CineKink Awards Afterglow Party

Monday, March 2

Tuesday, March 3
TES: “ Discrimination in the Community” w/ Susan Wright

Wednesday, March 4
TES Dominant Men/submissive women’s Group: “A Master’s Journey -Final Part” w/ Master Phil
Pleasure Salon
Man Enough: Visual Pleasures and Bodily Cinema: Queer Spectatorship & Fem-Dom Internet Porn

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flexgraph Pleasurists # 17

Image by flexgraph used under a Creative Commons License

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #16? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #18? Submit it here before Sunday March 1st at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Sorry the list is a bit late this week, it’s been a crazy last few days. Pleasurists #18 will be out on time!

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Bloomy by Jezebelle
  • Two things stood out right away; the amazing sensation that the curves give, and that the end of the curly loop is long enough for clitoral stimulation. Although the Bloomy is short, the curves and girth of the toy make up for it!

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books

Adult Movies/Porn

Miscellaneous

banner Pleasurists # 17

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The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori
Photography by Craig Morey
Publisher Greenery Press (2001)
175 pages, Softcover.

A few years ago (2005) I was lucky enough to take a bondage workshop with Midori: “Intro to Japanese and other Creative Rope Bondage Essentials” in Halifax at Venus Envy, one of the local sex shops.  It was one of two workshops I took with her and was an amazing experience.  Midori-only a small woman in stature-has a powerful and dynamic charisma; cool and collected with an authoritative presence that demands people sit back and take notice.

A friend of mine Kate volunteered to be Midori’s guinea-pig.  Kate is quite a bit taller than Midori, very butch and buff.  Although quite submissive, Kate plays mostly as a dominant as she doesn’t find too many Dom/mes who can handle her.  I was interested in seeing what Midori would do with her.

midori bondage The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

First Midori stood before Kate and the audience dressed in a gorgeous sea foam and silver Asian-style dress, slowly unraveling a long piece of hemp rope and running it through her fingers as she stared Kate down.  The room was completely silent, except for a few uncomfortable giggles that were soon silenced by Midori’s schoolmarm stare, as Kate stood blushing profusely.  In “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage“,  Midori explains this technique in detail in her “Analysis of a Scene”: “While effectively setting the tone and head space for the dominant, the visual effect of the top methodically stroking the ropes may be quite profound on the bottom…  Many different moods and attitudes might be presented… powerful and slightly intimidating… playful, humiliating…”  Of course, running the ropes through the hands at the beginning of the scene has many other practical uses as well such as untangling the rope, finding debris, and ridding the rope of its “bad habits.”

Next, Midori began to rub the rope over Kate’s body and head.  She held the rope up to Kate’s nose to allow her to smell it like an aromatic aphrodisiac.  Midori explains in her book the strong connection that many bottoms will make with the scent of the rope, associating it “with the sensual, sexual and magical experience of wonderful rope bondage scenes.”  This technique was obviously effective on Kate as she nearly swooned and leaned against Midori who took her weight.

Midori then made a rope blindfold to remove Kate’s sight and place her more into the scene, effectively blocking the audience from her view.  While Kate knew she was still on display, she quickly fell into the grove of Midori’s quick, clever hands working magic on her body.  Midori spun Kate around as she skillfully tied knots, moving the larger woman to her will, sometimes holding her a little off-balance, and then capturing her again within her strong embrace.  In her book, Midori says that the top should make the bottom move to their whim using “firm decisive moves, sometimes punctuated by a quick change in pace… to emphasize the emotional dominance and control the top has over the scene…”  She also calls this to tie with “gusto” where her rhythmic handiwork would suddenly change to a quick yank as she synched the knots which would rouse a sharp intake of breath and sigh from Kate.

Reading “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” was almost like being at Midori’s workshop once again, where rather than teaching the technical aspects of knot-work (Midori only showed us three knots), she demonstrates the dynamics of the scene itself.  In the book Midori talks about her personal history with rope bondage, the visual aesthetics of shibari including symmetry, tension, and balance, as well as introduces the reader to a brief history of Japanese bondage.  She covers safety elements and aftercare as well as explains the various types of rope and what they are best suited for.

The final section of the book shows seven classic positions with photographs by Craig Morey and simple diagrams, focusing on the techniques and knot-work.  Most of the techniques are fairly easy to follow, although some of them can get confusing, especially when a few illustrative steps are missed.  I would have preferred the images to be more step-by-step and photographed rather than line drawings.  As mentioned before, Midori doesn’t focus on difficult knots, but only shows a few basic ties, as she did in her workshop.  Her focus is not on technical skills but rather showing how bondage can be accomplished by a novice.  Any boy scout can learn to tie intricate knots and there are many books on that, but very few people can show effectively the dynamics of a scene like Midori can, that left my friend Kate a pile of wet, hot, quivering mush afterward.

If you haven’t had a chance to see one of Midori’s excellent bondage workshops I highly recommend this book.  It is a great introduction for beginners and I know many so-called “experts” in my BDSM community who would benefit from learning the dynamics of a scene as well.  For someone like me who has had the advantage of seeing Midori live, this book is a great reminder of all the techniques that are taught in her workshop (many that I had forgotten) and may inspire you to take up your rope again and begin practicing.

With the book that I received from Tabu Toys, I also got a length of Japanese Silk Love Rope (5 meters) to play with and practice my knots.  This rope comes in brilliant colors, is soft, yet strong and fairly easy to work with.  Together, “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” and the Japanese Silk Love Rope makes a great beginner’s rope kit to start playing with, and is also an excellent gift for your lover if you want to give them a subtle, yet effective hint.  You can purchase both items from Tabu Toys.

tabutoys The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

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Carnival 2009

by Viviane on 02/25/2009

in holidays

c01 18061883 Carnival 2009

A queen of the drums of the Vai-Vai samba school parades at the Sambadrome as part of Carnival celebrations in Sao Paulo, Brazil, early on February 22, 2009. (MAURICIO LIMA/AFP/Getty Images)

(From a photo essay at Boston.com on Carnival) [via Sexoteric]

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. . .Here’s the deal: Sex positivity means you acknowledge that sex is, or could be under the right circumstances, a positive, healthy force in anyone’s life… even if it isn’t right now. Those circumstances may not be the same for everyone (though some may be universal, like consent), but they include things like access to information, support, condoms (if relevant), a loving (or at least friendly) partner, healing from past negative sexual experiences like rape or abuse, privacy, enhanced self-esteem, etc. This list could be very long and, again, it won’t contain the same exact elements for everyone. This leads to the rest of what sex-positivity is, namely, the acknowledgement that not everyone’s sexuality, including sexual needs and desires, is the same, such that one person’s optimum, positive sexuality may not look anything like another person’s. That is, sex-positivity includes the acceptance of sexual diversity, and acknowledges that optimum sexual wellbeing for you might look different than it does for me.

more . . .

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Posted at the request of Alana Lowe, who’s developing a documentary style, reality TV show for a major cable network about a group of friends, some of whom are part of the lifestyle:

Real swingers on TV?! The media portrays the lifestyle as a bunch of old, unattractive weirdos – but we all know the truth! I am developing a documentary-style reality series for a major cable network, that will open America’s eyes to what it really means to be in the lifestyle today.

I am looking for a group of friends that already exists, anywhere in the US, that includes some vanillas and some swingers, who are comfortable being ‘out’ about their lifestyle. Couples who go out and party, who hang out with their friends, who go out to dinner, who gossip about what happened last night, and, of course, who are sexy.

If this sounds like something you and your sweetheart are interested in or if you know anyone who might be, please pass this information along. Contact me for more information. alana DOT research AT gmail dot com. Credentials available upon request.

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header sexual freedom Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy #16

This sex positive carnival highlights posts/articles promoting the sexual rights and freedom of women:

This theory of feminism is known more commonly as Sex Positive Feminism, a movement that developed in the 1980s in response to feminists against pornography and prostitution. Sex Positive Feminists (or sex-radical, pro-sex or sexually liberated feminists) believe that women’s sexual freedom is an essential part of women’s autonomy. Any legal or social control or regulation over the sexual self is an attempt to control and regulate women, undermines their freedom and infringes upon their human rights. We are interested in promoting sex workers’ rights, sex education in schools, and we encourage the free expression of sexualities.

Sex Positive Feminists recognise that not all women choose to work within the sex industry and some are grossly exploited, so it is crucial to understand that sex work must be done consensually. Otherwise, it represents another form of control. We understand too that the opposite of sex positive is not necessarily sex negative. For more information about Sex Positive Feminism, click here.

The previous Carnival was hosted at Sugarbutch Chronicles. The upcoming Carnival will be hosted by Ellie Lumpesse. Please visit the Carnival homepage if you’re interested in participating in future editions.

Thank you to everyone who submitted. And now, on to this month’s posts.

Better Burn That Dress Sister: This is our job so recognise our rights…….
The adoption of the mantle of self righteous indignation by prohibitionists when they speak disparately of sex workers rights is both disingenuous and dangerous. They encourage the enforcement of bad laws now and support the adoption of more bad law with the intention, they claim, of protecting the vulnerable. If prohibitionists were honest they would admit that the intention of this bad law that denies sex workers rights, has nothing to do with protecting women and children or in stopping trafficking. The purpose of the persecution now, as in the past, is both to eliminate our work and alienate us from society. New proposals to criminalise clients and further target brothels are just more of the same.

Border Thinking on Migration, Trafficking and Commercial Sex: Will a famous prostitute be allowed to rest alongside Calvin in Geneva?
Grisélidis Réal was known for decades as a prostitute, author and defender of sex work’s uses and skills. She died and was buried a few years ago but now either will or will not be honoured by having her remains moved to a Geneva cemetery where cultural icons like Calvin are buried. The story below illustrates how such honours are interpreted in opposing ways by different people.

Clarisse Thorn: BDSM Outreach: “There is no ’should’” and the sex-positive “agenda”
What’s my “agenda”? What does it mean to be a “pro-BDSM activist”? What’s the “sex-positive agenda”? Who is part of the “sex-positive movement”? These are all questions I’ve been thinking about a lot lately — and they seem to constantly recur around the blogosphere, in varying forms. But here’s a question that’s rarely posed explicitly, and it’s the one that preoccupies me the most: What action can I take in the real world to help create a powerful, energetic sex-positive — and pro-BDSM — movement?

A Femanist View: On Art and Porn
I think we should reject that line, and insist that Porn is Art (how come the two brothers have never been seen in the same room at exactly the same time as each other? *smirk* ). Porn performers and producers, pole dancers and lap dancers, even (willing) prostitutes – yes, all sex workers – are artists and deserve to be recognised for it. Their individual arts are different from one another, just as a sculptor’s art is different from a painter’s, is different from a musician’s, is different from a dancer’s.

Feminist Review: AIDS Sutra: Untold Stories From India
Negar Akhavi has masterfully edited multiple voices and rhetorical devices to show us how HIV and AIDS have affected Indian society. Half the contributors traverse the deep faultlines of misogyny, poverty, and religious hierarchy. The other half shows what it’s like in India in the time of AIDS to be faithful wives and daughters-in-law (and HIV-infected), poor and low-caste, overburdened healthcare workers, cast-off and orphaned, and non-heterosexual.

Franklin Veaux’s Journal: Some thoughts on tattoos, porn, and respect for women
The term ‘tramp stamp,’ as clever as it sounds (“Oooh! It rhymes! It must be true if it rhymes! If the glove don’t fit, the tramp stamp sits!” Or something) betrays what seems to me to be a very interesting idea about women. It’s a short, simple, 21st-century slang term that packages sixteenth-century ideas about sex and sexuality in a handy, bite-sized piece.

Kidsanity: 14 Kids, 8 Babies, 3 Fingers, 1 Parent: The Math Of Nadya Suleman
What I saw was an articulate young woman who managed to keep her own anger at bay, who seemed understanding and forgiving of people who do not accept her decision, and was composed yet passionate as she tactfully mentioned her beliefs about the sanctity of life. But it was her earliest statements, regarding other large families, which seemed to lie at the root of all of the hullabaloo.

Paper Cuts and Plastic: Why I like to fuck in public
It’s much more about the juxtaposition of the normal around me with what’s going on in my pants. The fact that I can hear or see other people going about their day while I’m in the throes of sex makes me really hot. The vast difference between what I’m feeling and what everyone around me is seeing makes the sensations seem even more exciting and intense.

Relationship Underarm Stick: Puppies, Kittens & Vampires, Oh My!
The ultimate pinnacle in Bad Boys are vampires and other supernatural creatures. Not only are they dangerous and misunderstood, the big strong Bad Boy arms we want to swoon into, but there is no larger a separation than between living and dead, making these men the most unobtainable of all.

Renegade Evolution: Feminism, Sex, BDSM & Other Sore Subjects
I do not say everyone would, or should, or could enjoy what I enjoy. I do not expect, demand, or encourage them to do so unless it is what they actually enjoy. I do however encourage women to speak to and about their own desires, and damn the condemnation that comes with it…because I do think that is important, and I do think that- the speaking- is feminist.

Sabrina in Stockings: So I’m a feminist – and a misogynist?
It’s one thing to rebel against being spoonfed a stereotype as an ideal. It’s another thing to have obvious disgust for your gender (and most of these offending women are primarily gendered female, even if they do sometimes feel male inside; or at least, they express their gender as female).

Tell It WOC Speak
Welcome everyone to what I hope will be the first of many blog carnivals dedicated to the voices of women of colour and our allies.  In every sphere of life women of colour are marginalized and exploited. Often, when we attempt to engage to change our circumstances we are silenced.  This carnival is our attempt to give voice to our shared issues.

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Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation (2006)
Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ernest Greene
Cast: Hartley, Mika Tan, Anna Mills, Angela Stone, Trent Solauri

 Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

I have reviewed a few of Nina Hartley’s Guides so far including Nina Hartley’s Guide To G-Spot Sex [my review], Nina Hartley’s Guide To Erotic Bondage [my review], and Nina Hartley’s Guide To Threesomes: Two Girls and a Guy [my review].  But, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation is by far the best I’ve seen to date.

The film begins with the typical Nina chat where Nina recruits a sexy porn star-this time Mika Tan-to discuss the topic of the film: female ejaculation.  Nina notes in “behind-the-scenes” that she wanted to work with Mika because she is so intelligent and funny.  I have to wholeheartedly agree and Mika is wonderful with her pre-scripted lines, bringing them to life and adding a saucy punch line to Nina’s educational talk.  The thing I enjoy most about Nina’s guides are these educational talks that explore, in this case, the physiology of the female anatomy and how and why female ejaculation does or doesn’t work.  I really don’t watch these films for the porn aspects, but for the how-to aspects, which I find to be much more valuable and entertaining.  If the porn is hot, then that is just an added bonus.

For a novice who has never squirted and wants to learn how, this film would be an excellent guide.  For someone like myself who can squirt and is fairly knowledgeable about sexual anatomy, you may learn a few knew things as well.  I know I did.  One thing Nina mentions is the fact that she has never squirted, even after years of trying different methods.  I thought this was a bit strange, given her knowledge and experience.  Why can’t Nina squirt?  Well, it turns out that some women who can’t squirt may be unable due to an anatomical reality. Their urethra opening is quite close to their vagina opening during penetrative intercourse or with a toy, the urethra goes into the vagina and blocks the ejaculate from coming out, resulting in a retrograde ejaculation, in which the ejaculate fluid is drawn into the bladder, rather than squirting out.  Now I’ve heard of retrograde ejaculation before in both men and women and many sexologists think that all women ejaculate, but for most it is the retrograde type.  I didn’t realize however, that it may be an anatomical difference in their genitals that could be blocking the ejaculation, but it does make sense.  This film will also give you many other interesting facts about female anatomy, female ejaculation and teach you to ejaculate, as it is a skill that can be learned through various techniques.

This brings us to Nina’s demo with her willing subject, cutie Anna Mills.  Before the film, Nina gave Anna a book to read on female ejaculation (wish she had of said which one!) which Anna studied to prepare for her scene.  Before reading this book, Anna had never attempted to ejaculate before, or even done so by “accident”, which happens to many women.  She actually learned to do this from reading a book and practicing.  Unfortunately, Nina read the same book without the same results.  One of the things to help prepare you for learning to ejaculate is building strong PC muscles by doing kegels.  Nina and Anna touch on this in the demo, when Anna clenches a dildo with her vice-like pussy and Nina can’t tug it out.  Pretty powerful.  After some warm-up foreplay, when Anna’s G-spot becomes engorged with ejaculate fluid, Nina uses a vertical speculum and the viewer get s a good close-up look at the G-spot when aroused.  This is really amazing, and I think every woman (and man who wants to please a woman) should see a G-spot like this, because the female anatomy makes so much more sense when you know how it works.

fem ejac1 Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

Nina and Anna demonstrate many G-spot toys on Anna, including the very effective Njoy Pure Wand.  Anna squirts immediately as soon as she inserts the toy by pressing it up against her engorged G-spot, without even having an orgasm.  Wow!  There’s another thing I didn’t know, that women can ejaculate without orgasm.  The Njoy Pure wand is definitely an amazing G-spot toy (one that I haven’t had the opportunity to review yet!-so if someone wants to send me one…).  At one point during the scene Nina also applies a clitoral pump to Anna’s clit that really engorges it. Rather loud machine, but wow, seriously awesome as it turns Anna’s clit into a little penis.  Nina explains that it feels like a lover super sucking on your clit.  Sounds great to me.  This scene is very informative, hot (Anna squirts 6 or 7 times, I lost count), and playful (both Nina and Anna are giggling the whole way through it and both seem amazed at what Anna has learned to do).  Oh, and I also love the fact that Nina uses black latex gloves to protect Anna from fingernails scrapes when she fingers and fists her.

fem ejac2 Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

The final scene of the film features Angela Stone and Trent Solauri.  This I guess would be the porn section of the film, where the viewer can see what hetero sex might be like out of the “laboratory” and in a “real-life” scenario.  Angela says (in the behind-the-scenes) that she has been ejaculating like forever and she can do so with out even masturbating. Some girls have all the luck.  She does manage to gush fairly copiously at the end of the scene which is very impressive as a geyser gushes from her like Old Faithful, but the scene itself is nothing much to rave about.  Just your regular mainstream porn making sure they do all the right positions.  This scene did nothing for me, but it might be hot for others who knows.  Still, I think the value in these guides is due to the talk and demos, rather than the porn aspect, so this film doesn’t loose too many points for me for this scene alone.

fem ejac3 Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

Nina’s guides always have an after the film interview and a behind-the-scenes.  In her interview, Nina talks more about the mental and emotional aspects of female sexuality and how important it is that women are comfortable with their bodies in order to achieve female ejaculation.  She also urges women not to be embarrassed if it happens involuntarily as this is a natural bodily function.  She also talks about how female ejaculation has been suppressed by views of women being non-sexual beings, and that in ages past (ancient Greece for instance) female ejaculation was common and celebrated.  Finally, Nina gets on a kick about men who think female ejaculation is gross and that rather than think it is a problem with the woman, men should the reasons why they feel this way, as it is a socially conditioned response.  She actually gets a bit miffed by the end and says: “If you really don’t like it… you need more help than I can give you here”.

The behind-the-scenes in this film shows Nina and her co-stars getting ready for their scenes.  Ernest Greene, Nina’s partner, is in this quite a bit.  He seems like a happy perv who likes to get in and help a bit with some hands-on with the girls, which isn’t surprising since Nina is quite a perv herself.  You can see the camaraderie between Nina and Anna here who are very good friends.

Adam and Eve also adds a bonus scene in all of Nina’s guides, and this one is not too bad.  It is a scene from “The Contractor” featuring a buff construction worker Anthony Hardwood and construction girl Taryn Thomas who get down and dirty on the heavy equipment.  Anthony has an amazing built body and Taryn is a sexy brunette who is pretty sweet until she gets verbal diarrhea and won’t shut-up.  Not a bad scene if played in mute.

So that’s Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation in a nutshell.  This is a fabulous guide on the subject and I think it would be helpful for women and couples who would like to learn how to squirt.  In fact, I would rename it: “Squirting for Dummies” as the guide makes it that easy to learn how to do it yourself.  Again, I don’t recommend it for the porn portions, but I really don’t think that is what people are interested in when they buy this film.  The educational aspects are excellent.  Thank you to Tabu Toys for sending this to me to review.  Learn to squirt and go watch Nina and her friends!

tabutoys Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

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Do you have a fetish? YourTango is looking for personal essays from people with sexual fixations on objects, ideas or body parts. We want to get inside your head and learn what you think and feel about your proclivity and how it affects your relationships.

Your preference can be common or unknown—cross-dressing, erotic asphyxiation, plushies, pony play, etc—all are welcome. You can be an intense fetishist—you need to incorporate your preference into every sex act in order to experience pleasure—or someone who enjoys the activity but doesn’t require it for pleasure.

We’re not looking for erotic writing or graphic descriptions of what goes on in your bedroom, although the essay will probably need an overview of how a particular preference works. Instead, we want to understand the psychology behind your desire.

Some questions to get you started:

  • When did you discover you had this preference?
  • How did you begin to incorporate into your sex life?
  • When did you first suggest it to a partner, and how did that person react?
  • If you’re single and dating, how do you introduce the idea to a new lover?
  • If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, how have you incorporated it into your sex life?
  • Has the fetish ever caused disagreements or fights between you and a partner?
  • Has it brought you closer to someone?
  • What are your emotions surrounding your fetish?
  • Would your love life be different if you didn’t have this preference?

We also welcome pitches from fetish newbies or one-timers—you don’t need to be a knowledgeable insider to tell an insightful, interesting story. Write about doing something you’d always thought about but had never tried, or the time a date asked you for a sex act you’d never heard of, or attempting a wacky idea with your partner just for the heck of it. Did you like it, or decide it wasn’t for you? What did you think and feel before, during and after the act? How did you talk about it with your partner? Did it bring you closer together or further apart, or neither? Did you learn anything from the experience?

Send pitches to Nicole Perri, Nicole AT yourtango DOT com. Thanks!

Note:  YourTango will be paying for the the essays but the budget hasn’t been set yet for this series. – Viv

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