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The Ten Commandments

Feb 12th, 2006 by Holiday

For La Minx

I pray this will be a blessing and provide you with a deeper understanding of the Ten Commandments and their purpose in our lives.

First
“I am the one who makes you cum, who brought you out of the land of boredom, out of the house of blues. You shall have no other cock before me.”

Second
“You shall make yourself available to your lover, and depending on gender: enjoy loving blow jobs, adoring cunnilingus, uninhibited rimming; you shall show steadfast devotion to the one who brings you unlimited sexual passion.”

Third
“You shall call out the name of The Lord your God in sexual ecstasy; for The Lord will not hold anyone guilty who enjoys a well-delivered orgasm.”

Fourth
“Remember the bedroom, to keep it holy. From 9-to-5 you shall labor, and do all your work; but late at night the bedroom is a place of joy and sexual liberation; in it you shall revel in your abandon and enjoy the pleasures of the flesh with the gender of your choice.

Fifth
“Honor your lover that your days may be long in the land of orgasm. The Lord your God approves.”

Sixth
“You shall not do without an orgasm.”

Seventh
“You shall not cheat on your partner unless your significant other is a downer.”

Eighth
“You shall not steal your lover’s underwear.”

Ninth
“You shall not bear false witness against ex-lovers.”

Tenth
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s dildo, or vibrator, or strap-on. That is just wrong.”

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