Who Designs Sex Toys Anyway? (Pervscan)
Jul 31st, 2005 by Viviane
“Have you seen these things? More often than not, they’re an emetic purple and bring to mind nothing so much as a deformed limb. And that’s if you’re lucky. Increasingly, sex-toy production seems to be under the influence of some kind of paraphiliac dadaism. Take the Mr Craby (sic) Strap-On. Never mind that it’s bright orange, looks like a cross between a cartoon crustacean and a Space Invader, and has a ‘cute pincer design.’ The really chilling thing is, IT’S GOT EYES. Listen to me — THEY’VE DRAWN EYES ON IT. Why would you feel compelled to paint eyes on something you’re going to attach to your genitals? These sex toys are the grotesque, misshapen offspring of the most repellently cutesy instincts of a seven-year-old girl and impatient porno consumerism…” —Mail & Guardian (South Africa)
If you step back and take a fresh look at sex toys — particularly dildos — it’s hard not to agree that they depict a rather weird world. Commercially produced dildos usually fall into one of three categories: weird inventions that look like extraterrestrial crustaceans in a low-budget sci-fi movie; sleek synthetic abstractions that make you think you’re jerking off with a minimalist sculpture; and exaggerations of “normal” human anatomy, like impossibly huge penises lined with veins the size of chicken fingers. If any of these things were attached to the body of a living person, you’d probably think twice before pushing it into your orifice of choice. But since it’s detached, it seems ok, or even appealing — maybe because this gives you control over it. It’s one thing to penetrate yourself with an extraterrestrial crustacean. It’s another thing to let somebody else do it. (more…)
But I like emetic purple sex toys!
Tags: penis, sex, tes