marriage

BOSTON (Reuters) – Vermont lawmakers on Tuesday overrode a veto from the governor in passing a bill that would allow same-sex marriage, clearing the way for the state to become the fourth in the nation where gay marriage is legal.

The Vermont House of Representatives passed the bill by a 100-49 vote after it cleared the state Senate 23-5 earlier in the day. In Vermont, a bill needs two-thirds support in each chamber to override a veto.

Vermont’s vote comes just four days after Iowa’s Supreme Court struck down a decade-old law that barred gays from marrying to make that state the first in the U.S. heartland to allow same-sex marriages.

via More. . .


“Fidelity”: Don’t Divorce… from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.
“Fidelity” used with permission from Regina Spektor and EMI Records.

Watch the video and sign the Courage Campaign’s letter to the California Supreme Court. Tell the Supreme Court to invalidate Prop 8, reject Ken Starr’s case, and let loving, committed couples marry.

DEADLINE: Valentine’s Day

Law professors Jack Balkin of Yale and Ann Althouse of the University of Wisconsin debate whether marriage should be replaced with civil unions for both gay and straight couples.

For a new book about marriage and sex, Anataomy of a Marriage, Gail Konop Baker is seeking to interview married women who have had affairs:

I’m trying to solicit interviews from married women who have had affairs for my new book proposal. I posted it on my status on facebook and on Twitter and have had only one response. Considering I’ve read in several recent studies that 45-55% of married women are having or have had affairs (more than double in the past 10 years!), I find it interesting (strange? telling?) that I haven’t had more responses. Any thoughts on how where I could get women to open up to me about this? Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Please email her at gkonopbaker at  gmail dot com

About Gail Konop Baker
Gail Konop Baker’s work is published or forthcoming in Literary Mama, Talking River Review, The Potomac, Mota, The Danforth Review, Madison Magazine, Yankee Pot Roast, Wisconsin Trails, Xanadu, Womansong, Pudding Magazine, Glass Review, and an anthology funded by the Ohio Arts Council. Her Literary Mama column “Bare-breasted Mama” made its debut in October of 2006.

Gail’s memoir, Cancer is a Bitch: Or, I’d Rather Be Having A Midlife Crisis was published by Da Capo Press, October 2008. She has also written two novels, Waitress Of The Month and Paris Smells Like Rotten Eggs. Her short story, “My Religious Education,” won third place in the Madison Magazine Short Fiction Contest, chosen by Jane Hamilton, was also a Glimmer Train Top 25 Fiction Open Finalist, a finalist in the 2006 New Millennium Fiction competition and a semi-finalist in the Boston Fiction Festival 2007 contest.

. . . The most consistent data on infidelity come from the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation and based at the University of Chicago, which has used a national representative sample to track the opinions and social behaviors of Americans since 1972. The survey data show that in any given year, about 10 percent of married people — 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women — say they have had sex outside their marriage.

But detailed analysis of the data from 1991 to 2006, to be presented next month by Dr. Atkins at the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies conference in Orlando, show some surprising shifts. University of Washington researchers have found that the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991.

The researchers also see big changes in relatively new marriages. About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful, up from about 15 and 12 percent respectively.

Link

Linkage for 10-25-08

by Viviane on 10/25/2008

in sex

Brad Balfour interviews Sam Rockwell about Choke. (HuffPo)

Alternet has an article on Sarah Palin and sex ed.

Bacchus warns us about Eden Fantasys.

Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks discuss relationship politics: the Obama relationship and body language of the McCain marriage.

Twanna Hines interviews Lust in Translations’ Pamela Druckerman on American political scandals.

The Black Phoenix playspace in Philadelphia is reopening.

A Brooklyn man has accused 5 NYPD officers of sodomizing him with a radio antenna.

Blogs are so 2004. (Wired)

Bonnie Ruberg attended Melissa Gira’s Blogging Sex workshop at the Center for Sex and Culture.

If you registered to vote via Rock the Vote, you may be screwed.

Kathryn Finney of the Budget Fashionista shows how to outfit the Palins for less than $2500.

MayMay: Equating passivity with sexual submissiveness is a stupid mistake.

It’s now possible to remotely eavesdrop on keyboards. (Schneier)

Microsoft has issued a critical out-of-cycle patch to guard against a vulnerability that affects all Windows systems.

Vice Magazine has an interview and photographs by Richard Kern with the contemporary artist, professor, pipe man, bear and S&M switch, Nayland Blake. (via Lolita Wolf)

Leonard Lopate has a great segment on jealousy.

NEW YORK (Reuters) – New York officials should recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states and countries where they are legal, even though New York State does not allow gay marriage, a state court judge ruled on Tuesday.

Justice Lucy Billings rejected arguments by the national Alliance Defense Fund that New York Gov. David Paterson overstepped his authority in May when he instructed officials to recognize same-sex marriages conducted outside New York.

“Nothing is more antithetical to family stability than requiring (couples) to abandon that solemnized commitment,” Billings wrote in her decision.

Many state agencies and municipalities have followed that policy for years, civil liberties groups said.

The lawsuit against Paterson marks the fourth failed legal challenge of Paterson’s directive brought by the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund.

Link

Del Martin, co-founder of the first national lesbian-rights organization in the United States, died Aug. 27 at age 87. We remember her with an excerpt from a Fresh Air interview that first aired on Dec. 29, 1992. (You can hear the complete conversation using the link at left.)

Martin and her partner Phyllis Lyon founded the Daughters of Bilitis in the conformist ’50s, long before the Stonewall riots of 1969 brought the gay civil rights movement into the spotlight.

Shortly after that, Martin and Lyon began publishing The Ladder, the first national publication aimed at a lesbian audience. Their landmark book, Lesbian/Woman, was published in 1972; they were among the first inductees in the LGBT Journalists Hall of Fame, established in 2005 by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.

Martin and Lyon, whose relationship spanned six decades, were married June 16 at San Francisco’s city hall — the first same-sex couple to be united in that city under California’s new marriage law.

Listen: Complete Interview

Link

Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin, whose trailblazing activism spanned more than five decades, most recently in the battle for same-sex marriage, died Wednesday, just two months after she made history again by wedding her longtime partner in San Francisco City Hall.

Ms. Martin, an author and organizer, died at UCSF Hospice after a long period of declining health. She was 87 and was admitted to the hospital nearly two weeks ago with a broken arm.

Ms. Martin’s crusading began in 1955, during an era in America known more for social conformity than for rebellion, when she co-founded a lesbian social-turned-political organization, Daughters of Bilitis, named after a 19th century book of lesbian love poetry.

This year, on June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were legally wed. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated. Theirs was among the first same-sex nuptials in California.

Link

…My point is that we don’t really know exactly what she knew. And there is no point in continuing to kick her now. What people do in the dynamics of a marriage is really their business. After the camera takes the confession, after the public figure is humiliated, after we all shake our heads and say “how is it possible these guys think it will never be discovered?” (Do politicians no longer study history, despite their hubris colored glasses?) it’s time for us to back away from the bleeding body of the wife.

In fact, how about this theory? Has anyone considered that she didn’t know anything in 2006, but in the face of all of this media attention, in all the hideous accusations that are raining down on a family with three innocent kids, perhaps she decided to present a united front and look like an “enabler” to protect them, not him. To make it go away faster. Because really it’s all a mess.

Lee Woodruff: In Defense of Elizabeth Edwards and Other Enablers [Updated].

See: The Affairs of Men (New York Magazine)

swingtown cbs promo picture 300x259 NCSF Entertainment Media Update for Swingtown

Swingtown – Molly Parker as Susan Miller, Jack Davenport as Bruce Miller, Lana Parrilla as Trina Decker, Grant Show as Tom Decker (CBS Photo by Cliff Lipson)

Show Title: Swingtown
Episode Title: “Pilot”
Original airdate: June 5, 2008
Series continues: Thursday, 10 pm
Network: CBS
Produced by: CBS Paramount Television
Executive Producers: Michael Kelley, Allen Poul and Carol Barbee

Description
From the program’s website – “SWINGTOWN, from the director of ‘Big Love’ and ‘Rome,’ traces two generations of friends and neighbors as they forge intimate connections and explore new freedoms during the culturally transformative decade of the 1970s. It portrays the ever-shifting “swing” of the pendulum that reflected the change in America’s collective value system — morally, politically and socially. After moving to an upscale lakeside Chicago suburb in July of 1976, Susan and Bruce Miller must confront temptation in the form of their provocative new neighbors, Tom and Trina Decker, while not abandoning their old friends Janet and Roger Thompson. As the adult couples evaluate whether to embrace or avoid newfound personal freedoms, the curious Miller and Thompson children begin to discover and assert their own morality and sexual identities as they come of age in a world on the precipice of change. In a shifting social climate — defined by its music, fashion and style — everyone in SWINGTOWN is confronted with personal choices, experimentation and varying attitudes.”

More info, including clips and the most recent episode of the show,
can be found at:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/swingtown/

NCSF Reviewer’s Note

Originally intended for a cable network outlet, “Swingtown” has obviously been retooled to meet broadcast standards and withstand certain scrutiny from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). Nonetheless, while it shies away from nudity and direct depictions, the show still manages to take a refreshingly
positive approach to sexual exploration and freedom. The most adventurous couple of the three featured, the Deckers, is presented as sharing a mutual enjoyment of their open marriage and seem to have a healthy, affectionate relationship. Similarly the Millers, introduced to the swing lifestyle in the first episode, are shown to be in love, but just seeking a little something to rev up their sex life.

It’s a little difficult to predict where the series will go over the course of its initial 13-episode run, but given how quickly the Millers jump into the action – counter to what most swingers themselves would counsel – there are sure to be complications ahead. While there are likely some consequences to be faced down the line, hopefully the show will maintain the sex-positive tone it exhibited in its premiere episode.

In light of complaints already being registered from media watch groups and religious political extremists, the CBS network and its local affiliates deserve commendation for airing “Swingtown” and should be encouraged to continue its broadcast.

(Reviewed by Lisa Vandever, NCSF Media Committee)

CRITICAL ACTION – GIVE FEEDBACK ON SWINGTOWN TO YOUR LOCAL CBS AFFILIATE:

Find your station here:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/31/utility/main517034.shtml

(Hard copy letters are generally more effective, but sending an email is better than nothing.)

ADDITIONAL ACTION – GIVE FEEDBACK ON SWINGTOWN TO THE CBS NETWORK:

CBS Television Network
51 West 52nd Street
New York, NY 10019

(While hard copy letters are generally more effective, you can also send a direct email to the network via a form on their website -
http://www.cbs.com/info/user_services/fb_global_form.shtml.)

YOU CAN ALSO LEAVE INPUT VIA THE “SWINGTOWN” COMMUNITY MESSAGE BOARD:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/swingtown/community/
(requires email registration)

HOW TO WRITE VIEWER FEEDBACK

Viewer letters are an effective way to convey a positive image of alternate sexual practices such as SM, swinging or polyamory. Your feedback can help to correct negative social myths and misconceptions about these types of practices, and may influence the future decisions of programmers and producers about the entertainment they provide.

These letters help achieve the advocacy goals of the NCSF.

For more information and suggestions of points to include in your letter, see:
http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_keyword&id=182

Please alert us to positive, negative or neutral stories about SM, swinging and polyamory at media@ncsfreedom.org

***

A joint Project of NCSF and ITCR: The Foundation of NCSF

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression.

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
822 Guilford Avenue, Box 127
Baltimore, MD 21202-3707
410-539-4824
media AT ncsfreedom DOT org
www.ncsfreedom.org