I was a pretty inventive kid. When I was three I used to bite my toast into shapes and make my Mom guess what the shapes were. I’d make her guess and guess and then say, “No, silly, it’s just a piece of toast!â€Â When I was four I melted down my crayons in hot water and started doing hot wax play before anyone had heard of it, making wax gloves as I dipped my hands in the melted crayons. I also figured this was a good way to make my Mom tea for breakfast one day as brown crayon when melted looked a lot like tea, just add milk! She didn’t really like it but appreciated the gesture. When I was five, I started coloring my Barbie’s faces with gaudy marker make-up and making them bondage clothes out of colored electrical tape. Go-go boots, gaudy make-up and skin-tight mini-dresses where in then.
When I was eight I decided to make myself a penis. My brother, then five, had a penis and could pee standing up and I wanted to do that too. I got my handy electrical tape and an empty toilet paper tube and began to craft my awesome penis.  I put my fingers inside the roll to swish it to about that girth (a saw my brother’s so had a good idea of what size my penis should be, plus a bit bigger!) and began wrapping the electrical tape around the penis leaving two holes (one to connect to me and one to pee out of). I then melted crayons (skin-color) to cover my penis so it would look somewhat real and waterproof it. I tested it in the sink and it worked! Great! I then got masking tape and taped it to my then hairless crotch. Voila! Insta-penis. I was so proud of my new penis that I invited my brother to come into the bathroom and watch me test it out.
We were both excited as I stood in front of the toilet and began to pee. A tiny dribble came out and went into the toilet. The rest leaked through where I had attached it to my crotch and spilled all down my legs. I cried and my brother consoled me saying it was a pretty good try.
Since then I have had other penis-envy moments, while watching guys write their initials in the snow and having to squat and pee outside. I had pretty well written off getting my own penis to pee through. Then Babeland sent me this cool new invention called the P-Style.
The P-Style is made of hard plastic and is non-porous so easy to clean. It is shaped like a long horizontal funnel and is open on top. You simply place the larger end under your urethra hold it and pee. Standing up! And, it works. I thought it might leak or that I’d spray myself but I didn’t. It was really easy, just hike up the front of your skirt, or pull down your zipper, insert and pee.
So now I’m happy to say I can pee like I have a penis thanks to Babeland and the P-Style. I bet my brother would be proud!
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Babeland,
p-style,
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penis envy
Sigurdur Hjartarson is missing a human penis. But he’s not worried: four men have promised to donate theirs to him when they die.
Hjartarson is founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which offers visitors from around the world a close-up look at the long and the short of the male reproductive organ.
His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull’s penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species.
The largest, from a sperm whale, is 70 kg (154 lb) and 1.7 meters (5.58 ft) long. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is just 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass.
One species conspicuous by its absence is homo sapiens, but that may soon be rectified since a German, an American, an Icelander and a Briton have promised to donate their organs after death, according to certificates on display.
The American, 52-year-old Stan Underwood, supplied a written description of his penis — which he purportedly nick-named “Elmo” — for display alongside a life-size plastic mould of the member as well as his pledge to donate it.
Hjartarson said the Icelandic donor, a 93-year-old from nearby Akureyri, was a womanizer in his youth who thought having his penis in the collection might bring him eternal fame.
But vanity may make him rethink the offer.
more . . .
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museum,
penis
By LAWRENCE K. ALTMAN
A study in Uganda has come up with a surprising finding about sex and H.I.V. Washing the penis minutes after sex increased the risk of acquiring H.I.V. in uncircumcised men.
The sooner the washing, the greater the risk of becoming infected, the study found. Delaying washing for at least 10 minutes after sex significantly lowered the risk of H.I.V. infection, Dr. Fredrick E. Makumbi reported on July 25 at an International AIDS Society Conference in Sydney, Australia.
The researchers do not have a precise explanation for the findings, which challenge common wisdom and the teaching of many infectious disease experts who urge penile cleansing as part of good genital hygiene. Health experts have suggested that washing the penis after sex could prevent potentially infectious vaginal secretions from entering the body through the uncircumcised penis.
(more. . .)
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r,
sex,
tes,
The Marketplace
Digression: my limited experience with British men is that they tend to have simply giant cocks. Granted, I’ve only fucked around five British dudes, but four of them have had dicks all out of proportion with their usually scrawny and normal-sized bodies. They have been narrow, whippy trees, these Brits, but all except one have wielded in their pants a mighty, mighty oak. Percentage-wise, Britons are a big-dicked nation, my slender experience has dictated. Rex proved the rule, and not the singular, thought not himself tiny, exception.
In addition to the giant cock, a cock big enough that I failed to fit it in entirety in my mouth—though I tried—Rex had Byronic hair, a wicked sense of humor, and a floofy ass. His body was thin and narrow, all upright lines and sinewy slopes, but for an ass that would have seemed better formed on a Brazilian model. It was a big, jiggly, heart-shaped ass, a thing of singular beauty, made more remarkable, like the heads on Easter Island, by its shockingly unusual placement. It was an ass made for exploration. A mysterious ass. I did not spelunk it. I have some regrets. That’s one.
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humor,
r,
The Marketplace
One of the few taboos left in western society, penis size is something that almost all men think about, but very few are talking about. Now it’s time to change all that…
Lawrence Barraclough’s aim is to collect and exhibit the biggest collection of penis portraiture ever seen, and in doing so hopes to encourage men to talk about their penis size, girth and shape – and whether those things really do matter! Find out how to submit your anonymous photo here.
Thanks, Lolita.
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penis,
r,
The Marketplace
Gallery Carre
