By STEPHANIE ROSENBLOOM
AFTER more than two years of disheartening online dating, Charlotte Kullen resolved to spend less time pursuing men and more time pursuing her hobbies. She plunged into tennis, running, sailing, horseback riding, fitness boot camp and scuba diving classes, assuming that somewhere between the situps and the strapping on of fins she might meet some eligible prospects.
She did. They all just happened to be women.
“You would think you would meet some good men,†said Ms. Kullen, 34, who lives near Union Square in New York and is the vice president of marketing for Bellmarc Realty. “But there just aren’t any.â€
“I’ve been in tennis for four months and there’s maybe one guy out of six people,†she said. “They start getting cute because there’s no one else to look at.†(more. . .)
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….Spring is here and the restaurants will soon be filled with anxious and hopeful couples, ordering wine, dusting off their most luminous lies, thinking they might finally have found love. Then they will see their dates’ homes for the first time. And suddenly some of them will realize that they cannot be with this person a moment longer — or at the very latest, because that wine was not cheap, beyond the next morning. A few whose homes have been romantic deal breakers may, like Mr. Podell, know what went wrong and choose to ignore it, seeing their apartments as a reflection of their brave refusal to bow to conventional taste.
(more…)
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…With full acknowledgement that men’s tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of “24,” these are some of things that many men value in “the one.”
A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him
Yes, it’s nice to be doted over. Yes, it’s nice to be pampered. Yes, it’s nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there’s a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who’s immersed in something else other than the relationship — be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her “thing” is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we’re hoping to spend a few decades with.
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Jessica Guynn, Chronicle Staff Writer
While it may be tough for the middle-aged of Silicon Valley to find a perfect partner, it’s never been easier for the young and the restless in the high-tech industry to make a love connection.
Members of this uninhibited generation can hit the launch-party circuit or hook up with the opposite sex using the very technology they are helping develop, a growing trove of Web sites where you can search for someone who shares your feelings and fetishes.
“They are using the actual tools of Web 2.0 to find more effective ways to get laid,” said San Francisco writer and humor columnist Min Jung Kim. (more…)
[via Sexerati]
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…No one knows for sure, of course, but I have a theory. I think it is the “Speed” factor.
No, I am not suggesting drugs were involved. I am talking about the Sandra Bullock/Keanu Reeves movie in which Bullock is a bus driver and Reeves is a police officer, and they are trying to prevent a bomb from killing everyone on the bus. If the bus slows down, “Boom!” So for what feels like an eternity, Bullock and Reeves are trapped on a speeding metal behemoth, barely surviving death on at least 10 occasions, and “getting to know each other.”
After enduring this stressful environment, saving all the passengers on the bus and living to tell about it, what else is left to do but fall into each others’ arms and kiss like mad? (more…)
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Do you have one of those relationship dealbreaker lists? You know, the list that describes the qualities you have to have in a man, along with the qualities you simply won’t tolerate?
If you’ve taken the time to write such a list, I’m impressed!
Now put it away.
Then, being as honest as you can be with yourself, make two brand new lists:
- The “Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship†list
And…
- The “Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship†list
Why these two lists? Let me give you an example from my own life.
During a bad fight with a man years ago, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror. I was more upset at the person I saw in that mirror than I was at the person across the room, hurling putdowns at me.
In the moment, I knew that being with this man would continue to bring out my worst qualities. In fact, with him, I was turning into someone I really didn’t want to be. And knowing that — even more than recognizing what a mean son of a bitch he was — made it impossible for me to stay in the relationship. (more…)
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Nearly one in four teens communicated hourly with his or her partner by cell phone or text messaging between midnight and 5 a.m., according to a survey conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, a research organization specializing in research on teens and young adults.
Shaina Weisbrot, now a sophomore at Rutgers University, says as a teenager she was in a controlling relationship that eventually turned violent. She recalls staying on the phone until 5 a.m. some nights, arguing with her boyfriend. “I’d be in my room. I’d pretend to be sleeping. I’d shut the lights and I’d be quiet, and no one would know the difference because all you had to do was hide your cell phone.”
About one in three teens surveyed who have been in a relationship said their partner had text messaged them 10, 20 and up to 30 times per hour to find out where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with.
Dr. Jill Murray, a psychologist who specializes in teen relationship violence, says that kind of questioning goes beyond casual conversation and amounts to controlling behavior. “The technology sets up the opportunity for constant stalking, for constant communication, for constant intimidation and threatening behavior, ” Murray said at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. “So we’re seeing an increase in teen dating abuse and I believe that this is a good part of it.”
(more . . .)
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1. How To Avoid Feeling Jealous Over Really Dumb Things
2. How To Remember That Wherever You Go, There You Are
3. How To Embrace The No-Fault Breakup
4. How To Have Sex If You’re A Sex Columnist
5. How To Find A Lasting Relationship For Yourself If You’re A Dating Coach
6. How To Get Married While Remaining Single
7. How To Become A Parent While Remaining Childless
8. How To Make Love Like A Porn Star
9. How To Comment Appropriately On Your Girlfriend’s Appearance
10. How To Finally Get Over The Lingering Fantasy Of That Long-Lost Love
Happy Valentine’s Day. (more…)
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NOTE: This essay was written by a woman interviewed by The Washington Post whose mother helps her find dates on Match.com.
Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.
Every woman in the dating world has thought, “If it can happen to her, it can happen to me.” While he’s snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn’t happen to us.
We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I’ll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don’t want to be with my family on Christmas? I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi’d, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can’t commit? Oh, that’s right. You’re just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.
What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man’s profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next. (more…)
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Gallery Carre
