I’m trying to solicit interviews from married women who have had affairs for my new book proposal. I posted it on my status on facebook and on Twitter and have had only one response. Considering I’ve read in several recent studies that 45-55% of married women are having or have had affairs (more than double in the past 10 years!), I find it interesting (strange? telling?) that I haven’t had more responses. Any thoughts on how where I could get women to open up to me about this? Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Please email her at gkonopbaker at  gmail dot com

About Gail Konop Baker
Gail Konop Baker’s work is published or forthcoming in Literary Mama, Talking River Review, The Potomac, Mota, The Danforth Review, Madison Magazine, Yankee Pot Roast, Wisconsin Trails, Xanadu, Womansong, Pudding Magazine, Glass Review, and an anthology funded by the Ohio Arts Council. Her Literary Mama column “Bare-breasted Mama” made its debut in October of 2006.

Gail’s memoir, Cancer is a Bitch: Or, I’d Rather Be Having A Midlife Crisis was published by Da Capo Press, October 2008. She has also written two novels, Waitress Of The Month and Paris Smells Like Rotten Eggs. Her short story, “My Religious Education,” won third place in the Madison Magazine Short Fiction Contest, chosen by Jane Hamilton, was also a Glimmer Train Top 25 Fiction Open Finalist, a finalist in the 2006 New Millennium Fiction competition and a semi-finalist in the Boston Fiction Festival 2007 contest.

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WASHINGTON, Nov 13 (Reuters) - A vaccine designed to protect women and girls from cervical cancer caused by a wart virus may protect men, too, maker Merck and Co (MRK.N: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz) reported on Thursday.

The Gardasil vaccine was 90 percent effective in preventing lesions, mostly sexually transmitted warts, caused by the virus in men, Anna Giuliano of the H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center & Research Institute in Tampa, Florida, and colleagues found.

It was about 45 percent effective in preventing infection with the four strains of HPV that it targets.

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“Gays should protest black people! The new conflict is gays vs. blacks, and blacks vs. gays. And black gays vs. themselves. It’s gonna be great.” — Stephen Colbert

I’ve been waving a sign on street corners since H8 passed: “Black Queers.” Responses have varied — from honks of support to looks of disapproval from blacks and whites. A black woman came up to me at a rally and asked me if I didn’t think the sign was offensive to black people. She looked around as if there were a person in charge of things like this, someone who could head-nod in disagreement.

I said, “It’s who I am, and people should know,” flipping it over to reveal another slogan: “We Do Exist.” When I carry the sign in the middle of a crowd, it faces in and then out, equally interchanged — a message to my communities.

. . .

I need my LGBT community to support my efforts, while it understands at the same time that there are discriminations that only people of color face. Perhaps we’ve all spent too long creating separate “safe spaces.” We need to get uncomfortable in our skin so we can grow new ones fully free of internal bigotries. It’s been unfortunate to see “Gay Is the New Black” and similar signs springing up during rallies. Or hearing comments like “What is this? A Latino rally or gay rights? Why are they chanting in Spanish?”

The truth remains: People of color have fought for civil rights in the past and still fight. People of color have the most experience changing hearts and minds over generations, and the same must happen for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community — so why not find the overlapping pieces as key to solving the puzzle?

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[via Violet Blue]

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Oh, Lelo, I’m in love!  Gigi is beautiful: so sleek, smooth, and elegant.  I have tried a few Lelo pleasure objects now—the Lily and the Nea—and all of them are exquisite luxury vibrators made with women in mind.  Nea and Lily are clitoral vibes, whereas Gigi is perfectly formed for wonderful G-spot stimulation.

Like all Lelo products, Gigi came in a sturdy, elegant gift box, complete with charger, a satin travel bag and user guide.  Gigi charges in about two hours and then she’s good to go for several more.  She has a slight curved body and an oval pleasure nodule on the end.  Gigi is deceptively small (4.5″ insertable length), based on the images I’ve seen on the internet.  This does nothing to take away from her function as a superb G-spot tool, however, as the G-spot is only 1″-2″ inside the vaginal opening.  The top two-thirds of the Gigi are coated with a velvety soft silicone, with a silver band and ABS plastic handle below.

The controls are located on the ergonomically shaped handle featuring “+” and “-” power settings (on and off) as well as up and down directional settings to control speed and function of which there are seven.  Gigi also features a safety lock for discreet travel.  I have read some reviews where people had trouble hitting the buttons and switching speeds during use, which didn’t happen to me, but I can see how that could happen as the controls are located at the toy’s base.

Gigi’s vibrations are a sensual massage which feels so lush and organic against the G-spot.  That is not to say that the vibrations are not strong however, for they resonate well through the pleasure nodule sending exquisite sensations through the entire region.  Gigi is slight for easy insertion into even the tightest vaginas.  Once inserted, it didn’t take long for Gigi to rock my world.  Gigi felt amazing thrusting vigorously against my G-spot and quickly brought me to an impressive orgasm.

I later tried Gigi as a clitoral vibe as well, and she worked well for this, but her ultimate function is for G-spot bliss.  Gigi comes with a one year manufacturer’s warranty from Lelo.  I truly believe that one excellent vibrator is better than a dozen crappy ones, and therefore Gigi is more than worth the price of purchase.   If ever lost on a desert island, Gigi is the one vibe I’d hope to be lost with.  And, maybe a sexy mermaid.

Photo by Fatale Femmes

If you are interested in purchasing this product or any other sexuality products like sex toys, please consider doing it through my affiliate account at VibeReview, where all proceeds for the month of November will go to support the Butterfly Tempress Cancer Fund (read about it here).  VibeReview will double the amount donated through affiliate accounts.  Thanks for your support!

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New law to criminalise men who pay for sex with trafficked women (Guardian)
“Under proposals to be published today by the home secretary, Jacqui Smith, a man who pays for sex with a woman who has been trafficked or is under the control of a pimp could face a charge of rape, which carries a potential life sentence.”

Day Without a Gay, December 10, 2008
“On December 10, 2008 the gay community will take a historic stance against hatred by donating love to a variety of different causes.”

Nobody Puts Rebecca in the Corner — Dirty Dancing & the Law (WSJ Law blog)
“In 2005, an appeals court concluded that a Supreme Court case Dallas v. Stanglin closed the door on Rebecca Willis’s claim that her Depot-dancing was constitutionally protected expressive activity.”

My Computer Made Me Gay (Regina Lynn; Tango)
“It all started when I learned about Onyx, a computer game that takes two to six players on a journey of sexual exploration. A sort of Monopoly-meets-spin-the-bottle-in-a-dungeon, Onyx makes the old-fashioned lovers’ card games look like solitaire.”

Pictures automatically attach to e-mail? (Apple Discussions)
“Please help! I took my husband’s i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account).”

Soup With Prince (The New Yorker)
“When asked about his perspective on social issues—gay marriage, abortion—Prince tapped his Bible and said, “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, ‘Enough.’ ””

Reverse Engineering Google Suggest “No Fly” List (Who is Google Protecting?)
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Twitter Moms Sink Motrin Ad
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eHarmony agrees to provide same-sex matches (AP)
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Prop. 8 hinges on who decides: judges or voters (SFGate)
“The central issue in the legal battle over Proposition 8 is whether the voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage is a state constitutional amendment, which can be passed by initiative, or a constitutional revision, which can’t.”

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pointfoundation.org

[email reprinted with permission; via the Livejournal bisexual community]

Hi, everyone,
For all you students and friends of students out there, I wanted to let you know about an incredible scholarship opportunity. The Point Foundation is the national LGBT scholarship organization, and they do amazing work. They give financial and other types of support to LGBT scholars from around the country — in fact, I wouldn’t be in school right now without their help.

If you are currently a grad student or an undergrad, or are planning to enter school next year, (or if you know someone in any of those categories), consider applying for a Point Foundation scholarship. They are especially looking to reach out to bisexual students, and have asked me to help spread the word in the bi community.

There are a number of sexual-orientation-based scholarships out there — but most are only for gays and lesbians. Bisexuals are often excluded from being able to apply. But Point is different. Point is one of the few that actually includes bisexuals, too! That’s really important, especially considering that bisexuals tend to make less money than gays and lesbians — many of us need all the financial help we can get to make it through school.

If you want to apply for a Point Foundation scholarship, visit www.pointfoundation.org. The application form is available starting December 12th. If you have any questions about the application process, feel free to ask me, as a Point Scholar. I’m happy to help out.

Please forward this message to any bisexual students (and gay, lesbian, and/or trans students, too). Thanks!

Cheers,
Amy Andre
Point Foundation Scholar
University of California at Berkeley
amy_andre (@) mba.berkeley.edu

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Location:  Greenwich St.
(btwn Rector and Carlisle; three blocks south of the WTC site)
Specific building number will be emailed upon registration.

Minimum Donation: $20- and up/per person

Instructors: Michele Serchuk, Seraphin, V, and YIN

The Rope Share is a bondage workshop that is structured to fit your skill levels and interests.  There are three highly skilled, bondage instructors and a teaching assistant.  The attendance will be limited to 12 students and divided into three groups so you will get individual attention and tutoring.

If you are a beginner, an instructor will teach you the basics of safety, negotiations, and the elemental ties needed to start your bondage exploration.  If you are an intermediate player and are interested in advancing your rope skills, are curious about how to tie a certain harness or position, or want to learn more about body positions and how certain ties affect your bottom’s headspace, this is a perfect environment to ask those questions.  If you are an advanced player and want to see how other rope tops tie, how different styles can enhance your own, this is a safe, non-ego space to hang out and play.

Couples are encouraged to attend together, but singles are also welcome as this will be held in a lab environment.  Please be open to dance both parts for the sake of the education.

Bring Rope: 4 lengths of 25 ft. rope; 2 lengths of 50 ft.; and safety scissors.  Cotton, nylon, hemp, and jute are all fine.

ALL proceeds will be donated to benefit our dear friend and rope bondage enthusiast, Vanessa, as she fights the battle of Lymphoma B cancer. We plan to continue this workshop as a monthly event for as long as it is necessary.  Future workshops will include Men-only and Women-only attendance so please inquire about those dates if that is a concern.

To sign up, send email to RopeShare@gmail.com.  Title the subject line as “Women’s Rope Share Sign Up” and include the following information in your email:

1. Your name (Scene name or legal)
2. Contact number and email address
3. Rope bondage experience and skill level (Please be brief)
4. What you are interested in learning
5. How you heard about this workshop

Sign up now as places are expected to fill quickly!  Beginners to advance rope players are all welcome!! If you have never tried rope before, but are curious, this is a safe space to share and learn rope bondage as a top or a bottom.

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Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire
February 13-15, 2009
Washington, DC

DARK ODYSSEY: WINTER FIRE ‘09 VALENTINE’S DAY WEEKEND - REGISTRATION IS NOW
OPEN

We are proud to announce a Dark Odyssey event this February for people interested in sex, spirituality, and BDSM. This will be our fifth hotel event and will feature:

-An amazing line up of nationally-known presenters, including sex educators, BDSM masters, top-notch Tantra teachers, relationship experts, and award-winning authors, activists, and community leaders

-Over 50 unique, dynamic workshops on identity, sex, relationships, swinging, polyamory, BDSM, Tantra, spirituality, and lots more

-Our infamous special events including nightly parties, a banquet with entertainment, hospitality suite, incredible vendors and, of course, a huge, fully equipped dungeon and other intimate play spaces.

All this happens in the comfort and luxury of a new beautiful host hotel located in the heart of downtown DC on Valentine’s weekend!

Registration is now open with special pricing for the first 50 people to register and Founder rates available through December 1st!

Best Regards,

The Producers of Dark Odyssey:
Greg, Karri, Tristan and Colten

For more information:
http://www.darkodyssey.com

Upcoming Dark Odyssey Events:
February 13-15, 2009: Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire, Washington DC
June 24-29, 2009: Dark Odyssey: Leather Retreat, Northern Maryland
September 16-21, 2009: Dark Odyssey: Summer Camp, Northern Maryland

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Lucy Belle on publicdisgrace.com

Thursday, November 20
Staten Island Kink Munch

Friday, November 21
LSM Field Trip to Catherine Opie: American Photographer
DSF: “Name That Welt: Straps, canes and implements that hurt” w/ Ted Erusservae
Apple Munch
Le Cercle des Dommes
Switch party

Saturday, November 22
TES: “Learning the Single-Tail Workshop” with Thrash
Brooklyn Leather Munch
SUBMIT party

Sunday, November 23
Suspension play party

Monday, November 24
CV Meeting: “Heart of Darkness: The Art of Sensory Deprivation” w/ Goddess Roze

Tuesday, November 25
TES: “Styles of Dominance: Leadership” with Sir Guy

Wednesday, November 26
TES TNG: “Knives and Pointy Things Workshop” w/ Dov

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Judy McGuide on How Not to handle meeting his parents (CNN)
“The first thing you need to do is get the skinny from your man. What are his parents like? Are they churchgoers? Recovering hippies? Military? You need to know what you’re up against.”

Terry Gross interviewed Dustin Lance Black, the Milk screenwriter
“”In his Hope Speech, Harvey Milk says, ‘There’s that kid in San Antonio, and he heard tonight that a gay man was elected to public office, and that will give him hope.’ And when I first heard that speech, it really did that. It really, really gave me hope, for the first time.”

Lolita Wolf is holding a contest for some great Kink.com swag.

Tomorrow’s Radiolab show is about sperm.
“We turn to the animal kingdom to answer that question, which lands us on a tour of sperm battles in ducks, flying pig sperm, and promiscuous whippoorwills.”

Cory Silverberg tells you how to get silicone lube out of your sheets.

The Smoking Gun on con-jugal visits.

2 NYC council members clash over abortion protest bill (sponsored by Speaker Christine Quinn).

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Thursday’s Child on Why I won’t be working with EdenFantasys anymore:
“But I won’t be working with them ever again, and if you partner with them, work with them, or buy from them, you might want to take another look at that relationship and make sure that what happened to me isn’t happening to you.”

If you’re in DC this weekend, be sure to attend Cinekink @ The Crucible.

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Here are my slides from Monday’s talk at Conversio Virium. I spent much more time talking about sexual privacy than about setup and promotion. Thanks again to Elizabeth and MayMay for the opportunity to speak. This presentation is available on the Blogging page.

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