From the monthly archives:

March 2009

logo 2nd Annual Sex Positive Journalism Awards Seeking Entries

Read anything in your local (or national) paper that reported on sex in a surprisingly informed, non-hysterical way? The Sex-Positive Journalism Awards want to know about it.

Last’s year’s winners were selected from over 100 entries submitted by both writers and readers, and they covered subjects from sex in nursing homes, prostitution, and sex in Iran to Kink.com and panics over Internet sex. The winning articles were published in a dozen states in all corners of the United States (and one Canadian province), and represent a range of genres, from news to advice columns.

What they all have in common, however, is that they succeed in embodying the Sex-Positive Journalism Award’s criteria for responsible sex journalism far better than the vast majority of their counterparts, helping to improve the quality of dialogue around sex and create a more well-informed reading public.

But there’s a long way to go. “Mainstream journalists are generally hopeless at covering sexuality. It’s not entirely their fault, but it would be great if this award managed to offer both support to journalists who’d like to do a better job, as well as some needed legitimacy for the subject matter,” wrote About.com’s Sexuality Guide Cory Silverberg when the awards were first announced.

“The media’s frequent failure to apply balanced journalistic standards to sex-related topics affects real people’s lives,” adds Carol Queen, PhD, co-founder of the Center for Sex and Culture.

The winners of the 2009 Sexies will be chosen by an outstanding panel of judges, who have expertise in both journalism and sex-positive advocacy: Dan Savage, author of the popular sex-advice column “Savage Love”; Carol Queen, PhD, writer, speaker, educator, and activist with a doctorate in sexology; Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH a research scientist and associate director for the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and sex columnist; and award-winning journalists Doug Henwood, Liza Featherstone, Amanda Robb, and Kai Wright. (See full bios).

The Sexies will be given for articles in four categories: news, feature, opinion, and regular column, plus “unsexy” (the most egregious violation of the Sexies’ criteria). Articles must have been published in 2008 (2009 articles can be submitted now for next year though) in an edited print or online publication in the U.S or Canada (personal blogs do not quality). Submissions are due by March 31, 2009. Both writers and readers can submit articles for consideration. For full guidelines. To make entries please use our entry form.

The Sexies board is composed of journalists Miriam Axel-Lute and Doug Henwood, The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, The Center for Sex and Culture, and the Coalition for Positive Sexuality. We are sponsored by Babeland, UltraVirgo Creative and the David Weinbaum Memorial Foundation. We are seeking additional corporate sponsors and individual donations to support our mission. Donations can be made.

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The Sex-Positive Journalism Awards Criteria

We are seeking pieces of journalism that:
* touch on sex, sexual practice, health, or behavior–in some manner (stories just about sexual orientation do not qualify)
* are intended for a general audience
* meet high overall standards of reporting, fact-checking, and writing

and do at least one of the following:
* show evidence of fairness in seeking sex-positive sources to respond to sex-negative ones
* ask hard questions about the motivation and background of sources who rely on sex-negative soundbites
* avoid biased or sensationalistic language
* cover newsworthy topics, events, or issues that might tend to be swept under the rug because of controversial sexual content
* report accurately, respectfully and with nuance on sex research results
* contain fair, accurate, and non-sensational portrayals of sexual subcultures
* keep a clear separation between sex crimes, such as sexual assault or pedophilia, and things that merely make people uncomfortable, such as consensual kink, teen sexuality or gay priests; and help readers who may not be familiar with the issues make the distinction
* specifically challenge sex-negative assumptions or practices in society at large or in a specific community
* educate the public as to the diversity of sexual behavior without sensationalizing
* celebrate sexuality as a positive force in human lives

We are not looking for racy or sensationalistic stories. The awards will be something any traditional journalist should be proud to hang on his or her wall as a testament to journalistic standards of fairness and accuracy about a charged and controversial subject.

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12 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: Mar 5 11

Charley Chase and TJ Cummings on fuckedandbound.com

Thursday, March 5
The Baroness‘ Fetish Retinue: Uniform Night

Friday, March 6
NYC Munch
DSF: “Erotic knifeplay, mindfucks, and energy play” with Master Dale

Saturday, March 7
GMSMA Beginner’s Bondage SIG w/ Peter Boots

Sunday, March 8
Kink For All

Monday, March 9

Tuesday, March 10
TES: “Golden Showers” w/ Kate Stine

Wednesday, March 11
TES Novice Group: “The Artist’s Way to Designing Scenes” w/ Nayland
GMSMA: “Earning Your Stripes”

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13 Find Lolita – March 2009 and beyond

Sybil Hawthorne on hogtied.com

March 19 – San Francisco, CA
The Citadel: teaching Fantasy Role Play

March 19-22 – San Francisco, CA
IMsL: coordinating the Celebrity Auction and teaching Mummification

April 9-12 – Atlanta, GA
Frolicon: teaching How to Play With Needles, Stuff Yer Hole, Sensory Deprivation and Fantasy Role Play

June 24-29 – Northern MD
Leather Retreat: teaching classes TBA

July 2-5 – Piscataway, NJ
TES Fest: coordinating the Celebrity Auction and teaching TBA

July 17-19 – Denver, CO
Thunder In The Mountains: teaching classes TBA

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7002 vibrator ad Hysteria and the Hitachi Magic Wand

Historical Hysteria

During the 1800s women’s sexual arousal was seen as a disorder called hysteria and believe me it was no laughing manner.  First diagnosed in ancient Greece, the term hysteria means “womb furie” or “uterine displacement”.  Towards the end of the nineteenth century, due to the stigma regarding female sexuality, “hysteria” became an epidemic among white, middle‑classed women.  Passionate women or those sexually “voracious” who were not satisfied with the same old missionary position were most vulnerable to this dreaded malaise.

Although some of the cures were downright barbaric and awful, physicians began to catch-on, believing hysteria to be caused by sexual deprivation-Go Figure?  The new treatment included genital massage that encouraged the patient to reach “hysterical paroxysm” (orgasm), resulting in contractions and release of fluid from the vagina.  By the early 1900′s, however, the treatment of hysteria became too time-consuming for doctors to use the old hands-on “cure”, so a new technological miracle was invented: the vibrator.  Soon, women were able to purchase self-massagers from women’s magazines and mail order catalogues such as Sears and Roebuck, enabling them to find many practical uses (ahem) for them around the home.  Retailers marketed vibrators covertly as sexual devices with ads praising them for providing “30,000 thrilling, invigorating, penetrating, revitalizing penetrations per minute” so all “the pleasures of youth will throb within you.”-Libido Mag

Vibrators came in all shapes, sizes, and functions ranging from those powered by hand, foot or air pressure,  as well as those run by water turbines, gas engines, batteries and current from lamp sockets. “There were musical vibrators, counterweighted vibrators, vibratory forks, undulating wire coils called vibratiles, vibrators that hung from the ceiling, vibrators attached to tables, floor models on rollers and portable devices that fit in the palm of the hand.”-The History of Gynecology

Enter Hitachi Magic Wand

hitachi2 Hysteria and the Hitachi Magic Wand

It has been called the “Cadillac of vibrators” and has probably been hiding in great grandma’s closet since those by-gone hysterical days (well maybe not that long).  When it first appeared on the market in the 1970s it was promoted as a “medical device” and then hailed by Betty Dodson for bringing sensory-deprived women to orgasm.  Today the Hitachi is marketed as a “body massager for sore muscles,” and, while it could never be called sexy, it still remains the best-selling intimate personal vibrator available today.

So with all the sleek, sexy, whacky and wonderful sex toys on the market today from “pleasure objects” [my review] to pocket rockets, how does the antiquated Hitachi measure up?  I have to say, pretty damn well.  For some women (like me) it may be very intense.  I use it as a clitoral vibrator through my panties and even my sweatpants, as I don’t need that much power to reach orgasm.  I refer to the Hitachi as my “three-minute miracle”, because that is about how long it takes me to get off when using it.  And, when all you want is a quick release, the Hitachi is the one who will always get the job done fast.

For many women, it may be the only vibrator that will get them off.  This is very true of a good friend of mine and she swears by her Hitachi.  She has tried other vibes and they just don’t do the trick for her.  And, having a hard time reaching orgasm is not as uncommon as you might think.  According to Beverley Whipple in The Science of Orgasm an estimated 35-40 percent of women can’t reach climax at all.  Even more recently on Oprah, many women confessed the inability to have sexual pleasure or achieve orgasm.  Now, the Hitachi may not be the answer for every woman, but, it can certainly help get the party started and is a hell a lot more fun than medieval torture.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the most powerful intimate massager I have ever tried.  I have used several other plug-in massagers [my review] as well as rechargeable ones [my review], none of which can match the power and intensity of the Hitachi.  The Hitachi has two speeds: Intense and Ultra Intense.  It is heavy, it plugs-in, is loud and not too pretty, but for the ultimate in vibrating intensity and dependability, the Hitachi is the Queen of female orgasms.  So, ladies, if you haven’t tried the Hitachi yet, it is time to step out of the dark ages, and get yourself the vibrator that your grandmother knew and loved, and find out what the hype is all about for yourself.  Vrooom!

Thank you to Vibe Review for the Hitachi Magic Wand.  You can find it as well as many other savvy sex toys and reviews on their site.

468x60 Hysteria and the Hitachi Magic Wand
Sex Toys @ VibeReview!

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05 Pleasurists #18

Image by Don Julian

Yeah!  This week of the Pleasurists My review of Bill & Desiree is featured!  Thank you Scarlet Lotus!

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #17? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #19? Submit it here before Sunday March 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Bill and Desiree: Love Is Timeless by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
  • Everything they do, they do with exhilaration and wild abandon. They explore their sexual love like children who are delighted and amazed by everything they see and touch. I had a perma-smile welded on my face as I watched them make love with such tenderness: their smiles, laughter and joy radiating out of the screen to affect me as well. It was so powerful and beautifully poignant to watch their sweet ecstatic moans and tearful orgasms as they convulsed with ecstasy.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Packing Cocks

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Miscellaneous

banner Pleasurists #18

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FOJ email banner 1 Time Out, New York on Jeffersons Custody/Free Speech Case

My legal battles began in July, when my ex filed a motion seeking full custody of our children. But the battleground was laid a year ago this week, when my ex discovered coverage of One Life, Take Two in Time Out, New York’s annual “Secret Lives” issue.

This week, Time Out, New York pays a brief visit to those featured last year. Of yours truly, readers learn:

When the article appeared, the worst thing that could have happened happened: My ex-wife discovered it and sued for full custody of our kids. I contacted the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, which reviewed my case and set up a legal fund, making it possible to get a great attorney and preserve joint physical custody. On the one hand, having a sex blog and an unhappy ex-wife with deep pockets is a volatile combination. On the other, had I not had this blog I wouldn’t have had a community of readers that has made it possible to fight this battle.

Whatever Happened To . . . ?

Welcome to those first visiting this blog courtesy of Time Out, New York. My apologies for the current dearth of sex one would hope to find in a “sex blog.” I’ve kept this blog for four-and-a-half years, charting my new life after marriage. My aim has been to tell stories that address family as well as sexuality—custody, domesticity, childhood, parenting, dating, bisexuality, romance and sex have all been themes—to show that all can be openly discussed as weaves in the fabric of real life.

When the custody case began, I voluntarily closed my blog’s previous content and now post on matters concerning the ongoing case. I apologize for going Lenny Bruce on my readers—when busted for obscenity, he turned his performances into tedious discussions of the resulting trials. Don’t worry: this story doesn’t end with Dustin Hoffman sprawled on a bathroom floor. But a year in, it’s fair to wonder: where does it end?

I recently read Saul Bellow’s Humboldt’s Gift, and was struck by an observation the narrator made about his perpetual legal disputes with his ex-wife. He mused that protracted post-divorce court cases are really just extensions of the preceding marriages. So long as a couple is fighting, they are still together.

This year, we’ve been through an exhaustive process, some it documented in previous posts. Meetings with lawyers, court appearances, psychiatric evaluations, free speech negotiations, all while cutting check after check. My ex had spent twenty-five thousand dollars prior to filing the original motion, and that seems eons ago.

Our attorneys had an important conference on Inauguration Day. Watching President Obama’s speech as I waited to hear the outcome, I was struck by the everyday applications of these words: “People will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.”

A Bellovian rehash of a failed marriage is simply destructive. There are good and constructive ways to build on collaborative relationships as co-parents. I look forward to moving ahead on those.

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund
Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

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FOJ email banner 1 Barbara Nitke on Jeffersons Custody/Free Speech Case

I’ve long been an admirer of the photography of Barbara Nitke, both for its artistry and for its message of emphasizing the humanity of people in alternative sex communities. I was also struck by her bravery in defending free speech in challenging the constitutionality of the Federal Communications Decency Act of nineteen ninety-six, which regulates indecency and obscenity online. This was a fight closely watched by those in the arts and by those of us who publish online.

Barbara is an inspiration to those who care about freedom of expression, no matter the artist’s chosen media. She is kind enough to offer her support to my current battle.

Jefferson

To whom it may concern,

I am a professional photographer on the faculty of the School of Visual Arts in New York. My work has been the subject of one-woman exhibitions in New York, New Orleans, Baltimore, Provincetown and Philadelphia. My subjects include fashion, editorial and portraiture. Since nineteen eighty-two, I have also documented human sexuality.

I have known the man behind Jefferson for nearly a decade, first in a professional capacity and now as a friend. I’ve always been impressed by his intellectual curiosity and the respect and care he brings to sensitive subject matter.

These qualities continue to impress me as I’ve come to know his work as “Jefferson.” I’ve read his blog, attended his classes and observed his interactions with others. He brings great intelligence, humor and warmth to all of these. His blog is regarded as essential reading by those in the sex-positive community. Whereas other texts seek to teach by instruction, One Life, Take Two does so by example. Readers learn as “Jefferson” learns. We follow him through his passions, his upsets and his joy in the everyday, particularly in his stories about parenting. As a fellow artist, I fully respect the power of his documentary approach.

If anyone has exemplified responsibility in writing on sex and sexuality, it is Jefferson. I strongly support his right to continue writing freely.

I know the struggles Jefferson now faces. I was co-plaintiff in Nitke v Gonzalez, 413 F. Supp.2d 262 SDNY (2005), as we brought a pre-enforcement challenge to the Federal Communications Decency Act (CDA) on the ground that it was unconstitutionally overbroad. While I succeeded in proving that I had standing to bring that pre-enforcement challenge, unfortunately, the court held us to an impossible burden of providing “sufficient” evidence regarding “the total amount of speech that is implicated by the CDA and the amount of protected speech lacking in serious value, but potentially not patently offensive or appealing to the prurient interest in all communities.”

While we did not completely succeed in that case, the struggle to protect free speech and freedom of expression continues. I am heartened that many of the organizations and activists allied with me in that case are now rallying around Jefferson to support him in his current battle to preserve both his joint child custody and his freedom of speech and expression protections. Any silencing of Jefferson is a loss for art, free speech and the personal freedoms we cherish so much here in the United States of America.

Sincerely,

Barbara Nitke

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund
Please remember to specify that your donation is earmarked for the Jefferson Legal Defense Fund. The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund affirms that these earmarked donations are tax deductible.

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. . .Which isn’t to say there haven’t been noticeable changes, beginning in the late ’80s, when k.d. lang became an icon of lesbian chic. Nor is it to minimize the impact of ‘‘The L Word,’’ a tribute to the high testosterone level of gay babes, or to ignore hip same-sex Hollywood couples, like Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. It is to say rather that Sapphic archetypes tend to raise questions more than answer them, since both categories (butch and femme) borrow from gender-influenced dichotomies of beauty. There have, that is, always been women known for a sort of arrant handsomeness — like Gertrude Stein, who always struck me as resembling no one so much as Hadrian VII— or for their arresting exoticism, like the painter Romaine Brooks. And then there are the gay women, known as ‘‘lipstick lesbians,’’ who look like any other pretty young thing. Indeed, the power of lipstick lesbians relies precisely on the fact that theirs is an exclusively inner ‘‘outing’’; outside they are all mascara, blush and, yes, lipstick. Their allure is in their ability to mimic the normative language of sexual discourse while at the same time poking it in the eye.

Well, look again. Lesbianism has finally come into a glamour of its own, an appeal that goes beyond butch and femme archetypes into a more universal seduction. Her name is Rachel Maddow, the polished-looking, self-declared gay newscaster who stares out from the MSNBC studio every weekday night and makes love to her audience.

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Cinekink 2009

by Viviane on 03/02/2009

in cinekink

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