Melt dark chocolate kisses to taste in some coconut oil until it’s just the right flavour, but don’t add too much chocolate because you want the coconut oil to be able to melt again when it comes in contact with body heat. I recommend adding stevia for sweetness because you only need a tiny bit compared to processed sugar – and it’s also healthier.

Allow your coconut chocolate spread to solidify and keep it in a glass jar next to your bed. When it’s time for fun, just start spreading the flavour around. The coconut oil melts almost instantly when it contacts the body. The medium chain triglycerides give you extra energy and the xanthine from the chocolate gives you extra euphoria.

You can also substitute pineapple juice for the chocolate and sugar, so you can have a pina colada spread.

If you want to make it official, just put an “I Love You” sticker on the jar.