September 2008

. . . If anonymous blogging is already writing for the drawer and this blog is a space for my most personal and difficult thoughts, then where do I write down the things that I can’t even say here? One solution is personal friendships. I have a friend that frequently sends me emails with pieces of writing and a subject line like, “I can’t blog this”. Sometimes he is correct. For social reasons or political ones or just “good taste”, he really can’t. Sometimes I convince him that he is wrong because I know his subject line is a challenge to both of us, of course he “can” blog it, but will he?

Me? I don’t even commit these dirtiest of thoughts to words in a publishable way. I may talk about them with friends or even allude to them on Twitter but the simple act of stringing words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs seems very risky and final to me. If I write and I don’t publish, I am admitting that the thoughts are unpublishable. And if I don’t publish the unpublishable, what am I doing here?

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. . . There is not much difference in your STD risk between spitting and swallowing — its the sucking on an unwrapped penis or un-dental-damned vagina thats risky when it comes to STDs Exposing yourself to skin-to-skin contact and body fluids whether they are spit out or swallowed during oral sex is how you can get STDs like herpes, gonorrhea and HIV. Even the wording “swallowing sperm” is inaccurate, as if you could separate the sperm from the ejaculate — just as Portia proved you cant separate a pound of flesh from the blood coursing through it, so it is with sperm and spunk.

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Sometime in the early ’90s, a sexologist by the name of Edward Eichel claimed he had discovered a brand new way to do it that guaranteed simultaneous orgasms in the missionary position every time! Obviously he had a rather exaggerated sense of his own accomplishment (otherwise he would have won a Nobel, or at least had a very large building named after him)–but the Coital Alignment Technique (C.A.T.) certainly has a lot going for it.

The basic idea is to provide clitoral stimulation during genital intercourse. It’s a toughie to master–it sounds more like calculus than copulation when you try to describe its ins and outs. Beyond just following the specific steps below, mastering the C.A.T. requires a philosophical readjustment. Abandon your assumptions that intercourse automatically means a piston-like motion, lots of flailing about, and a rush to climax. For the C.A.T., you’ve got to take what some might call a more “feminine” approach to sex: think small subtle movements, full-body contact with a focus on the clitoris and the pelvic mounds, and a Buddhist-like repetition of steps that may very well get her closer to Zen (i.e. orgasm) than any other hands-free intercourse position out there.

After the jump, 5 steps to letting the C.A.T. out of the bag…

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By Frederick Kaufman

. . .For the past several weeks, (Barbara) Nitke had been running porn films side by side with Food Network shows, studying the parallels. She had also been analyzing the in-house ads, like a recent one for the network’s “Chocolate Obsession Weekend,” which promised to “tantalize your tastebuds.” In this spot a gorgeous model pushes a chocolate strawberry past parted lips as she luxuriates in a bubblebath. The suds shot dissolves into Food Network superstar Emeril Lagasse, who shakes his “Essence”—a trademarked blend of salt, paprika, black pepper, granulated garlic, and onion powder—into a pan of frothing pink goo. The camera moves into the frying pan and stays there. “There’s something very visceral about watching the food,” said Nitke. “It’s very tissue-y. It’s hard not to think of flesh when you’re looking at these closeups.”

Like sex porn, gastroporn addresses the most basic human needs and functions, idealizing and degrading them at the same time. “You watch porn saying, Yes, I could do that,” explained Nitke. “You dream that you’re there, but you know you couldn’t. The guy you’re watching on the screen, his sex life is effortless. He didn’t have to negotiate, entertain her, take her out to dinner. He walked in with the pizza. She was waiting and eager and hot for him.”

Which reminded me of my conversation with Food Network programming VP Bob Tuschman. “We create this sensual, lush world, begging you to be drawn into it,” Tuschman had said. “It’s a beautifully idealized world. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that world?”

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Rapture Defense Fund

by Viviane on 09/22/2008

in sex

Mistress Ardenne has posted that the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund has set up a defense fund for those affected by the shutdown of the Rapture dungeon:

You may tell your potential donors that they may contribute to SFLDEF and earmark their donations for Rapture defense. There is a PayPal button on the SFLDEF web page (www.sfldef.org), or checks can be mailed to the address on the web page. Donors must make sure we know for whom the donation is made, because we have another earmarked defense fund in progress. (my emphasis) To be safe, they might send us an email to supplement the information we get from PayPal.

SFLDEF is funded solely by donations and staffed entirely by volunteers. We would be grateful if donors to an earmarked fund would remember that the organization itself needs money and make a contribution to SFLDEF’s own funds at the same time.

Best of luck to the defendants.

Valerie White
Executive Director
Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc.
www.sfldef.org

From the Associated Press:

A former Army Special Forces commander passed over for a job as a terrorism analyst at the Library of Congress because he was changing genders won a discrimination lawsuit. Judge James Robinson of Federal District Court ruled that the Library of Congress had engaged in sex discrimination against Diane Schroer of Alexandria, Va., formerly known as David Schroer. The library was initially enthusiastic about the hire, Judge Robinson said in his decision, adding, “The library revoked the offer when it learned that a man named David intended to become, legally, culturally and physically, a woman named Diane.” Ms. Schroer sued in 2005 alleging sex discrimination under the Civil Rights Act. Judge Robinson will decide on the penalties in the case later. The Justice Department is reviewing the judge’s ruling, a spokesman said.

The ACLU has a case profile with the the legal documents.

cinekink Call for Entries   CineKink NYC/2009

SUBMIT TO CINEKINK!

CineKink NYC – “the really alternative film festival” – is seeking films and videos, of any length and genre, that explore and celebrate the wide diversity of sexuality. Dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, we’re looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn, mildly spicy to quite explicit – and everything in between.

Cutting across orientations, topics covered at CineKink have included – but are by no means limited to – BDSM, leather and fetish, swinging, non-monogamy and polyamory, roleplay and gender bending. Or, frankly, given the current moral climate, as long as it involves consenting adults, just about anything celebrating sex as a right of self expression is fair game. (Far be it from us to define “kink” – if you think your work might make sense in this context, please send it along!)

Scheduled for its sixth annual appearance February 24-March 1, 2009, the specially-curated CineKink NYC will also feature a short film competition, audience choice awards, presentations, parties and a gala kick-off, with a national screening tour to follow.

Discounted, early-bird entries have a post-marked deadline of October 15th, while the standard deadline is November 15th.

For more information and to download an entry form, visit http://www.cinekink.com/entries.

In August 2004, NATALIE McLENNAN was working for and dating now-convicted pimp Jason Itzler when he auditioned and recruited a 19-year-old named Ashley Dupre into his high-end prostitution ring, New York Confidential. In her forthcoming book, “The Price: My Rise and Fall as Natalia, New York’s #1 Escort,” McLennan recalls how she befriended and groomed Ashley – a New Jersey girl with dreams of being the next Mariah Carey – into one of the city’s hottest call girls. In this excerpt, McLennan reveals Dupre’s sex- and drug-fueled days and nights – raking in piles of cash, dancing in clubs and sidling up to celebrities – before she ended up in bed with Gov. Eliot Spitzer and became famous the wrong way.

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Sugasm #147

by Viviane on 09/21/2008

in sugasm

lysa 228x300 Sugasm #147

Lysa (click on pic to view full size)

Photo: Hegre Art

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #148? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Amazing
““You’re lucky I’m not being mean right now.””

Cum Squirt With Me. Confession #131
“Not much research has been done on the female orgasm in general, much less this seemingly new erotic marvel.”

Jealousy, Pornography and the Boundaries of Blogging
“I search to be a sexually free, independent and satisfied woman without the stigma of slut yet with the positive implications of slut.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Blue Fantasy, Red Silk Rope

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
DVD Review: “Hostel Lupus” (Lupus Pictures)
Lady Sascha Reviews the Light-Of-Love T
Sarge Ties Up Charlotte Vale On Hogtied
VibeReview Fantasy: Decadent Indulgence

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The Enigmatic Angel Finds Out Just HOW Kinky She IS
Fetish Fridays: Interview With A Sissy
How Grey Does Your Garden Grow?
Rock Me Sexy Jesus
We don’t plan to stop
Where Do I Fit In The Picture
Why I hire escorts
Why, Oh Why Do I Like Watching My Wife Get Fucked
You Are Beautiful Tonight

Sex & Humor
Overheard In BDSM

BDSM & Fetish
Bonds of Love
Brutal Bastinado And Intense Sadistic BDSM
Don’t Slam The Door
Exceeding My Expectations
Meeting with BS 4
Mistress or Lusty Bitch?
Public Displays of Discipline
Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 5
Sarge Says: The Vale That Is Thin Enough For Me
Sex and Submission Round 2 Report: Mz Berlin, Mark Davis, And Bondage
She works hard for a living…

Sex Work
Satine Phoenix Is A Sinner? Repent Repent Repent!

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Clips and Clamps
Feather Fan HNT
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Sunny Side Up

Sex Advice
Bend over boyfriend how to make him want anal sex
How To Put On A Condom In The Dark
Man-Handled: What Makes the Perfect Blowjob?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Being Alone
Catalina loves Fucking Mr. F (In My Mind At Least)
Chasseur
Fuck My Mouth
Horny
The Long Kiss Goodnight
Making out in the air part1
One
What She Forgot – Another Friday Night Bedtime Story
While it rains outside…

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Not your typical film festival. The opening night of Fantastic Fest at the Alamo Drafthouse consisted of the US premiere of Zack & Miri Make a Porno, and the World Air Sex Championships.

[via Karina Longworth]

By HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON and CECILE RICHARDS

LAST month, the Bush administration launched the latest salvo in its eight-year campaign to undermine women’s rights and women’s health by placing ideology ahead of science: a proposed rule from the Department of Health and Human Services that would govern family planning. It would require that any health care entity that receives federal financing — whether it’s a physician in private practice, a hospital or a state government — certify in writing that none of its employees are required to assist in any way with medical services they find objectionable.

Laws that have been on the books for some 30 years already allow doctors to refuse to perform abortions. The new rule would go further, ensuring that all employees and volunteers for health care entities can refuse to aid in providing any treatment they object to, which could include not only abortion and sterilization but also contraception.

Health and Human Services estimates that the rule, which would affect nearly 600,000 hospitals, clinics and other health care providers, would cost $44.5 million a year to administer. Astonishingly, the department does not even address the real cost to patients who might be refused access to these critical services. Women patients, who look to their health care providers as an unbiased source of medical information, might not even know they were being deprived of advice about their options or denied access to care.

The definition of abortion in the proposed rule is left open to interpretation. An earlier draft included a medically inaccurate definition that included commonly prescribed forms of contraception like birth control pills, IUD’s and emergency contraception. That language has been removed, but because the current version includes no definition at all, individual health care providers could decide on their own that birth control is the same as abortion.

The rule would also allow providers to refuse to participate in unspecified “other medical procedures” that contradict their religious beliefs or moral convictions. This, too, could be interpreted as a free pass to deny access to contraception.

Many circumstances unrelated to reproductive health could also fall under the umbrella of “other medical procedures.” Could physicians object to helping patients whose sexual orientation they find objectionable? Could a receptionist refuse to book an appointment for an H.I.V. test? What about an emergency room doctor who wishes to deny emergency contraception to a rape victim? Or a pharmacist who prefers not to refill a birth control prescription?

The Bush administration argues that the rule is designed to protect a provider’s conscience. But where are the protections for patients?

The 30-day comment period on the proposed rule runs until Sept. 25. Everyone who believes that women should have full access to medical care should make their voices heard. Basic, quality care for millions of women is at stake.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is a Democratic senator from New York. Cecile Richards is the president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

Link.

Sukiyaki053

by Viviane on 09/19/2008

in photography

sukiyaki053 by bevel33 Sukiyaki053

Masa Hanamaru

Masa Hanamaru

pervert etsy01 300x297 The Perverts Guide to Etsy (Coilhouse)

Perverts Guide to Etsy

by Irene Kaoru

To the casual observer, Etsy.com is a cutesy realm of craft hipster chicks and middle American stay-at-home moms; a twee repository of homemade flowery jewelry crafts, popsicle stick and Fimo clay sculptures and hand-sewn terrycloth baby bibs. I am here to tell you that I have spent the week spelunking Etsy’s dark side and my friends, there is so much more. It’s a pervert’s treasure trove waiting to be discovered. It’s almost October, which means it’s almost Halloween, which is basically Goth Christmas (oh yeah, I said GOTH CHRISTMAS and I’ll say it again). Here are my gifty picks for the special perverts in your life.

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from publisher Debbie Rasmussen:

First the bad news: The print publishing industry as a whole is staring into a void. Across the board, newsstand magazine sales are in a slump, subscriber numbers are down, and paper and postal costs continue to rise. But it’s not magazines like US Weekly or Vogue that you’ll see disappearing from the newsstands—they have the parent companies and the resources to weather industry ill winds. It’s the small, independent magazines like Bitch that will disappear, because the odds are already stacked high against us. And simply put: We need to raise $40,000 by October 15th in order to print the next issue of Bitch.

Donate here.

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9 NYC Weekly Leather Dates   Sept 18 24

Finn Damion and Van Darkholme on boundgods.com

Thursday, September 18
Staten Island Kink Munch

Friday, September 19
LSM: “Breath Play” w/ Suzannne SxySadist
DSF: “Tease & Denial” w/ Mistress Coraline

Saturday, September 20
Brooklyn Leather Munch
TES Spanking Group: “Back To School”
TES Novice Excursion” hosted by Lady D & Bo
TES “Back to School Party” hosted by Nix and August
NYboL Bar Night (new location!)
Spam party

Sunday, September 21
ONYX-Pearls Northeast meetimg:”Fire, Ice and Wax.”
Kinky Jews: A History of Jews, Sex and Politics on the Lower East Side Walking Tour
Truck Stop
Queer Fetish French Ball

Monday, September 22
Conversio Virium Meeting: “Wrestling for Play” w/ the wrestlers of Grapple Den & Doom Maidens

Tuesday, September 23
TES: “Erotica 101″ with Rachel Kramer Bussel

Wednesday, September 24
TES Bondage Group: “A Bondage Experience” w/ Dov, Shibari Warrior and Lolita

4 NYC Weekly Leather Dates   Sept 18 24

Sasha Grey and Riley Shy on whippedass.com