Gallery Carre
I’m not a doctor, I just fly with medical devices to confuse you.
Aug 19th, 2008 by Viviane
This is what happens when Boymeat travels:
Seeing as it would be a short weekend, I decided to pack light and for once travel with carry-on luggage. This meant no whips, no knives, no canes, or any other typical weapon-like item I would normally bring along. In fact, I only brought one sex toy - a speculum.
Due to an amazing thunderstorm that spontaneously rolled into NYC at 5 PM on the dot, my plane was delayed 4 hours before eventually being canceled. During that delay, I went back and forth the security gates 3 times to have a cigarette to squash my ever growing frustration.
Which meant the TSA had a total of 4 opportunities to figure out what in gods name I had in my bag.
Comedy, thus, ensued.
Attempt #1
TSA - Um, what is that?
Me - It’s a speculum.
TSA - Huh?
Me - It’s used to open things up.
TSA - Like what?
Me - *stared at her blankly*
TSA - *shaking her head* Go.
Attempt #2
TSA - Isn’t this…?
Me - Yes, it’s a speculum.
TSA - Are you a doctor?
Me - Nope.
TSA - I mean this is used for… you’re a doctor right?
Me - Nope.
TSA - Then why do you…?
Me - *smiled at her*
TSA - OooooooooooK. Go on.
Attempt #3
Me - I know what you’re looking at. It’s a speculum. I’ve been through this already with some of your colleagues.
TSA #1 - Hey, wait, I know what this is… it’s a…
Me - Yes, it’s a speculum.
TSA #2 - Oh, right, it’s for opening…
TSA #1 - Noses, right?
Me - Um, nope.
TSA #2 - I… I’m not even gonna ask.
Attempt #4
Me - Before you even ask, it’s a speculum.
TSA - *smiles and waves me off*
hilarious. i love it.