Gallery Carre
Sleeping Around Craigslist (Alternet)
Jul 10th, 2008 by Viviane
It takes a woman about a thousand words and a condom to get laid on Craigslist. But for a woman to be laid properly — by a passionate lover who knows what he’s doing — well, that’s a whole different ball game.
We are both middle-aged women who have spent the past 11 months sleeping around Craigslist. At an age when most women were sending their firstborns off to college, we found ourselves — through chance and circumstance — single, tumescent and ripe for adventures. Those adventures have spanned 10 counties and four states and involved roughly 45,000 e-mailed words, 27 phone calls, 36 face-to-face initial dates and 13 actual lovers — and re-aggravated our carpal tunnel syndrome from all the typing.
. . .The two of us met when Anna answered an ad that Lily’s then-boyfriend, Scott, posted on Craigslist. Lily and Scott were seeking a third partner to join a menage a trois. Before anybody actually met face to face, Lily dumped Scott and canceled the threesome, but she became e-mail pals with her would-have-been sex partner, Anna.
. . .Besides all the rules that sensible people follow when dating online, like “meet in a public place,” “let someone know where you are,” and “condoms are non-negotiable,” we developed our own special list for middle-aged chicks who date on Craigslist:
1) A lot of men want to screw Sarah Silverman. (Three lovers told Lily the potty-mouthed comedian was their “fantasy fuck.”)
2) With ads for people over forty, add at least five years and ten pounds to the photo. That way, when the older and heavier date shows up, you won’t be as disappointed. This rule is as applicable to men as it is to women.
3) Men have a tendency to overreport the number of sex partners they have had. Women underreport.
4) You better have a good memory if you want to date a lot. In case you don’t, call everybody “honey” to avoid mix-ups and make a cheat sheet on each with the name of their dog, their favorite movies, wines, and sexual positions. Failure to take notes will make pillow talk a minefield. If you are compulsive, go ahead and make a chart.
5) Promise little, deliver much.