Are you ready for Valentine’s Day?

by Viviane on 02/11/2008

in holiday

valentine Are you ready for Valentines Day?

Fuck no, you say? Me too! I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Too. much. pressure. Restaurants, are horrible on Valentine’s Day (just like Mother’s Day). It’s probably too late to order some gifts, like the ones suggested by Funky Brown Chick, Violet Blue or Lux Nightmare. And I would never buy any of these 14 gifts guaranteed never to get you laid.

If I could, maybe I’d go see Harold and Maude at the Walter Reade (Director Jonathan Demme will introduce the screening). The last print I saw of this was a shitty print in college. Since it’s Young Friends of Film, there’s post film cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.

I’m much more focused on the Sunday following, when a horde of sex bloggers once invade my apartment to sip tea, and politely talk about pervery. And a beautiful boy in leather pants will be serving us (no, not Rascal, but he’s supposed to show up).

But it’s never too late to send a card! How about one of Hegre’s sweet ones with pretty naked girls? Or, send a snarky one from someecards. How’s about “Don’t forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men?” And here’s valart2008′s sweet Flickr photoset of the kind of cards I might have given someone in 4th grade.

Don’t forget to set up a little Valentine’s online mailbox for yourself. See that graphic in my sidebar? Send me a valentine.

You can also shop on Valentine’s Day at Borders in NYC, get 10% off, and support Life Beat AIDs.

I always welcome chocolate, and here’s nosher par excellence Ed Levine’s suggestions for chocolate suggestions for Midtown and the Upper East Side and the Upper West Side. I’m especially fond of Jacques Torres’s hot chocolate spiked with some chipotle chile. Or Maison du Chocolat’s truffles. Or perhaps the red velvet cupcakes from Two Little Red Hens.

And poly folk should definitely take Mistress Matisse’s advice to heart:

“Do not buy your two sweethearts the same card or gift, unless it’s a trip to Paris for the three of you together. Even if they’re not in the room together when they open them up, there will be some note comparing, I assure you.
. . .

Poly people often adopt the “no surprises” rule. In general, that means you don’t spring big relationship changes on your partners. But it has other applications, too. Do not plan romantic Valentine’s Day surprises for your poly partner that involve anyone being naked, because it could be terribly awkward if you crawl in your sweetie’s bedroom window with a dozen roses and she’s in bed with her other lover.”

Photo: The St. Valentine’s Day porker, via Jezebel.

  • http://www.polyamorouslyperverse.com/ tom paine

    I couldn’t disagree with Matisse more: I’d like nothing better than to climb in the window of my lover and find her in bed with someone else….

Previous post:

Next post: