Saying that though, some of my foreign publishers have been keen to have me on board their plans for the book, asking me my thoughts on the covers and their PR strategy. The result? I’m happy with the book and happy to promote it; they get the PR they need from me; the book (hopefully) sells well.

This was not the case with my US publisher. I *fought* not to have the title changed to the stupid one they chose; it was a battle that went on for some time – and which I lost. And when I saw they had put a quote from the Sunday Times (the newspaper that outed me) on the back cover, that just smarted with me and showed me that they really didn’t care what I felt about how they were marketing my book. I was irrelevant; an annoying obstacle to them.

So added to all the things I have mentioned above, my experience with publishing in the US has not been a happy one at all, which has upset me a lot. I had drawn a line under it until this fiasco with their sending out spam emails.

P.S. I *still* haven’t heard from them about any of this. I’m not holding my breath…

I am happy to promote your book– if you are comfortable with that– not to help the publisher, but to help you and, by extension, all of us who write about sex and relationships. Feel free to email me at painful dot tom at gmail dot com. I obviously do not want to get in the middle of anything, nor offend you and your friends.

Americans, despite being the porn capital of the world, are uneasy with sexuality, and mainstream publishers shy away from it. Part of the decision is, of course, the increasing importance of mass retailers like Wal-Mart and B&N, who now are brought in to acquisition meetings, or whose preferences (and phobias) take on increasing weight in the decision-making process about which books get published.

In the interest of accuracy, Erikk is not the editor who disparaged acquiring further erotica, though my amusement at the press’s position remains.

You can see the disparity in the approach the publisher took with my book back in March 2007, when the US edition was published: the New Yorker magazine ran an interview with me (which made me both immensely proud, but also hopeful that my inclusion would help bring more sex-based writing into the mainstream) and rather than build on that and obtain other ‘quality’ press, the publisher instead suggested I should go on the Howard Stern Show. I declined this and their other, more salacious, approaches to marketing the book as erotica; it became blatantly obvious that they had no interest in my wishes at all and nor were they concerned with promoting the book with me on board. (Additionally, not ONE single bit of press was obtained after the New Yorker piece – shocking to anyone in PR, I am sure.)

Given this, and the fact that I did not wish to be seen as exploiting my friends in the blog world, I refused to ask sex bloggers to promote my book. They let the matter go and I have heard nothing from the publisher since then. Which is why, over six months later, I am absolutely stunned to discover that not only have they gone against my explicit wishes, but they have done so without informing me, let alone asking me if it was OK to approach my blog friends to plug my book. Hence why I have reacted in this way. I’ve nothing against selling more books, but not if that means stamping on people I know and/or respect.

To sum up: It’s not the asking of bloggers to promote a book that is bad, in and of itself, it’s the way the approach is made. There’s a lesson for all of us to learn in this, writers, bloggers and *especially* publishers, I think.

????

I thought the purpose of publishing books was to sell books? Guess not.

Needless to say, I was not aware of the backstory on this project, or that Abby was not a part of the promotional efforts supposedly on her behalf, or I would not have bothered to reply in the first place. Thanks for airing this.

Well, yes, I am easy.

I was actually torn between continuing to feel affronted, and enjoying the company i was apparently keeping…